JOHN MCAREAVEY HAS spoken for the first time of his “shock and horror” at losing his wife Michaela, saying that knowing people have been praying for the couple has helped him.

Speaking in an RTÉ documentary which aired this evening called Michaela – Finding Peace, the Down footballer said he had never felt any anger over her death and added: “I know there’s a calmness in my life I kind of can’t understand”.

“The more I think about it, I realise that’s Michaela, she’s giving me this calmness,” he added.

Michaela McAreavey, 27, was murdered in her hotel room while on honeymoon in Mauritius on 10 January, less than a fortnight after the couple’s wedding.

John McAreavey said that the day she was killed had begun like any normal day. He said that they had spent some time apart that morning doing different activities, before meeting at the hotel and heading to the pool. After they had lunch together, she went upstairs to get some biscuits from the hotel room, where she was killed.

The overriding feeling at finding her dead was “utter despair”, he said. Though he hoped everything would be alright, he said it was apparent quite quickly that she had not had an accident and that somebody had done something.

Michaela’s father Mickey Harte said that “without a faith life”, it would be impossible for him to cope with his daughter’s murder. Both he and John McAreavey were among the crowds who were addressed by the Dalai Lama recently in Limerick. Harte spoke in the documentary of his close friendship with his “supporter” daughter and their shared love of Gaelic football.

Two men who worked at that hotel have been charged with her murder and are due to stand trial on 20 June. Although John McAreavey has been named a witness for the prosecution, authorities in Mauritius have indicated they may not call on him to travel over.

The prime minister of Mauritius and the country’s DPP were among those interviewed for RTÉ’s documentary.