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THE NEW INSTALMENT of the insanely successful 50 Shades of Grey book series is out today.
Entitled simply Grey, the book is told from the point of view of the male protagonist, Christian.
But we know what you’re all wondering. How filthy is it? Never one to let our readers down, we here in TheJournal.ie newsroom took on the onerous task of reading it and found the smuttiest bits that we possibly could.
*WARNING: CONTAINS FILTH*
The book is laid out as a diary, so we all took different dates and present the smut without plot or context. Because there isn’t any, anyway.
Paul Hosford – Sunday May 22, 2011 (Page 126)
I thrust into her again and again, watching my cock disappear and reappear from her mouth. It’s beyond erotic. I’m so close. Suddenly she bares her teeth, gently squeezing me, and I’m undone, ejaculating into the back of her throat, crying out my pleasure.
Sinéad O’Carroll – 1 June 2011 (Page 419)
“When did you start your period, Anastasia?” I want to fuck you without a condom. “Yesterday,” she breathes. “Good.” I step back and spin her around. “Hold onto the sink,” I command. Grasping her hips, I left her and pull her backward so she’s bent over. My hand glides down her ass to the blue string, and I tug out the tampon, which I toss in the toilet. She gasps, shocked, I think, but I grab my cock and slide into her quickly… I pick up speed, and I grasp her hips, building… building, then hammering into her. Claiming her. Possessing her… “That’s right, baby,” I murmur, my voice hoarse as I pound into her with a punishing I-own-you rhythm.”
(Editor’s note: This is not good sex education – you can get both pregnant and/or an STD during your period. Just saying, Grey.)
Peter Bodkin – 30 May 2011 (Page 349)
With my finger I circle inside her once more, then withdraw and remove the balls from my mouth. Gently, I insert the first ball into her, then the second, leaving the tag outside, draped against her clitoris. I kiss her bare ass and slide her panties back into place … ‘How does that feel?’ I ask. ‘Strange.’ ‘Strange good or strange bad?’ ‘Strange good,’ she answers.”
Nicky Ryan – 27 May 2011 (Page 276)
Kavanagh says he wants to upgrade his media network to high-speed fiber-optic connections. GEH can do it for them – but are they serious about buying in? It’s a big investment up front, but a great payoff down the line.”
“Damn right. Only me!” Her words are a siren’s call to my libido. Losing all self-restraint, I sweep everything off my desk, sending my papers, phone, and pens all clattering or floating to the floor, but I don’t give a damn. I lift Ana and lay her across my desk so her hair spills over the edge and onto the seat of my chair.“You want it, you got it, baby,” I growl, shipping out the condom and unzipping my pants. Making quick work of covering my cock, I stare down at the insatiable Miss Steele. “I sure hope you’re ready,” I warn her, grabbing hold of her wrists and keeping them at her sides. With one swift move I’m inside her.“Ah… Christ, Ana. You’re so ready.”
Órla Ryan – 3 June 2011 (Page 477)
She grasps when I grab her hips and kiss the sweet junction beneath her pubic hair. Moving my hands to the back of her thighs I part her legs, exposing her clitoris to my tongue. When I start my sensual assault her fingers dive into my hair. My tongue torments her, and she moans and tips her head back against the wall.She smells exquisite. She tastes better. As she purrs she tilts her pelvis toward my invading, insistent tongue, and her legs begin to tremble.
Enough. I want to come inside her.
Rónán Duffy – 3 June 2011 (Page 489, Twice in one day? The horny divils)
I tease each of her nipples until they are glistening with my saliva and standing to attention. She writhes as much as the restrains allow and groans beneath me. My tongue trails down her belly, around her naval, laving her. Tasting her. Venerating her. Moving down, through her pubic hair to the sweet exposed clitoris that’s begging for the touch of my tongue. Around and around I swirl, drinking in her scent, drinking in her reaction until I feel her tremble beneath.Oh no. Not yet, Ana. I stop as she huffs her voiceless disappointment.I kneel up between her legs and pull open my fly, freeing my erection.
Christina Finn – 30 May 2011 (Page 351, Grey is clearly an ass man)
I want to see her ass in all its rosy glory. Unhurriedly, teasing her, I tug down her panties, skimming my fingertips down her thighs, the backs of her knees, and her calves. She lifts her feet, and I discard her panties on the floor. She squirms, but stops when I place my hand flat against her pink, glowing skin. Grabbing her hair again, I start anew. Gently first, then resuming the pattern.She’s wet; her arousal is on my palm. I grip her hair harder and she moans, eyes closed, mouth open and slack.Fuck, she’s hot. “Good girl.” My voice is hoarse, my breathing erratic. I spank her a couple of more times until I can bear it no more. I want her. Now.I wrap my fingers around the tab and draw the balls out of her. She cries out in pleasure. Turning her over, I pause to yank my pants off and put on a wretched condom.
Michael Sheils McNamee – 3 June 2011 (Page 491)
A pleasurable rumble resonates deep in her throat. “What was that music?” she asks. “It’s called Spem in Alium, a forty-part motet by Thomas Tallis.”"It was… overwhelming.”"I’ve always wanted to fuck to it.”"Not another first, Mr Grey?”I grin. “Indeed, Miss Steele.”"Well, it’s the first time I’ve fucked to it, too,” she says, her voice betraying her fatigue.”You and I, we’re giving each other many first.”"What did I say to you in my sleep, Chris – er, Sir?”Not this again. Put her out of her misery, Grey. “You said lots of things, Anastasia. You talked about cages and strawberries. That you wanted more, and that you missed me.”
Cliódhna Russell – June 7 2011 (page 537)
We’re fucking. Fucking hard. Against the bathroom door. She’s mine. I bury myself in her, again and again. Glorifying in her: the feel of her, her smell, her taste. Fisting my hand in her hair, holding her in place. Holding her ass. Her legs wrapped around my waist. She cannot move; she’s pinioned by me. Wrapped around me like silk. Her hands pulling my hair. Oh yes. I’m home, she’s home. This is the place I want to be…inside her…
Sean Farrell – May 23, 2011 (page 162/3)
“I don’t remember reading about nipple clamps in the Bible. Perhaps you were taught from a modern translation”, she goads me, her eyes shining and provocative. Oh that smart mouth.”Well I thought I should come and remind you how nice it was knowing me” The challenge is there in my voice. Her mouth drops open in surprise, but I glide my fingers to her chin and coax it closed. “What do you say to that, Miss Steele?’ I whisper, as we stare at each other.Suddenly she launches herself at me. Shit.Somehow I grab her arms before she can touch me, and twist so that she lands on the bed, beneath me, and I have her arms stretched out above her head. Turning her face to mine, I kiss her hard, my tongue exploring and reclaiming her. her body rises in response as she kisses me back with equal ardor. Oh, Ana. What you do to me. Once she’s squirming for more, I stop and gaze down at her. It’s time for Plan B…
So there you are now. We’re going to go take some cold showers.
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I wonder would mass immigration have anything to do with it, no probably not!
@Brian Hunt:
That’s crazy talk,wash your mouth out with soap!
@Kevin Byrne: Oh, look, the journal pulled a sneaky one and let the “bot” skip the queue. Who would have guessed?
@Brian Hunt: Hopefully the Journal or another News outlet will investigate the rise in Leprosy and Aids in Ireland, or maybe dancing with the stars is more important.
@Paul Gorry: Is everyone you don’t agree with a ‘bot’? How does that even work? Weird…
@Jonn: Silly comment, wake up!
@Brian Hunt: if you read the article, then you wouldn’t have to wonder, and would know that various factors are at play
@Paul Bannon: Also scurvy, TB and Bubonic Plague.
@Paul Bannon: The last case of leprosy in Ireland was in 2013 by a Brazilian.
@Kevin Byrne: you’d be first in line you being Russian an all..
@Brian Hunt: No, not at all. They still have one of the best patient to dr ratios in eu, cant blame immigration on everything despite some sectors love to do nothing else but….
@Kev Kerr: So nothing to do with mass immigration Kev, I know I can always rely on you for your wise counsel……not!
@Brian Hunt: obviously population increase is A factor, but one of many
@Brian Hunt: it is one of many factors. Many of those arriving have major medical needs, mental trauma, pre existing illnesses etc. All are given medical cards. As there is no medical assessments at point of arrival it is difficult to quantify. This coupled with the fact that many doctors who train in Ireland leave shortly after finishing their education, both Irish and international students.
Sure ALL OUR IRISH Educated Doctors and Nurses are forced to emigrate thanks to FF, FG, GGP, Liebour and rest of the Mafia in the Dail because none of them are credible to run the country anymore. We lack serious leadership in this country because all I see this place is going down the drain fast by blaming all the Irish people for a lot of the problems this country is facing but the politicians are never to blame because they’re immune from being blamed.
@Kevin Byrne: 1st troll on this article, Kevin. Congratulations..
@Kevin Byrne: great input there kev
@Kevin Byrne: Every day, all day. You’re the most boring c¥nt I witness all week. Sad little bl1t3h
@Tommy: and guess who will replace the country doctors ?
Indian doctors already acting as lords and masters in our hospitals.
@Dominic Leleu: but then, why can they do it and our Irish one can’t. I know a doctor that is going to retirement and can’t find replacement… why ?
Over 10% taken in in under 10yrs is alot, before you consider the housing crisis
Everything Conor McGregor said in the White House on Ireland and immigration is 100% true, regardless of your opinion of the man himself!
@Jonn: McGregor is very fond of the White in any house, but I get your point, john.
@Jonn: no it wasn’t true, and if you’re relying on someone like McGregor to be your messenger, then there is something seriously wrong with the message
@Kev Kerr: it is true you’re just stuck in your cave with your fake leaders here in Ireland we need a Voice somebody who actually stands out for the normal people of Ireland, as our politicians are just a bunch of liars and everybody knows that the country is going downhill drastically services, immigration money being squandered, and you’re actually backing up these people using our money you should be ashamed of yourself
@Jonn: I wouldn’t put any stock in anything said ahead of or between a pair of rap ists.
@Bren: just because I don’t agree with McGregor, and consider him to be a scu mbag, doesn’t mean that I am a government supporter. There are lots of other politicians who are not in power
@Kev Kerr: You’re an echo-chamber of the government!
Interesting that a journalist can say this today but many people have mentioned the country didnt have services to meet the demands due to the hugh growth in immigration over the last few years only to be branded far right.
@Kevin Byrne:
The trick is to identify as a non gender frying pan at the end of your comment. That confuses the lefties.
@Paul Keenan: hasn’t helped for sure but the reality is that the Irish have been useless for a long long time. IMO it’s pretty granular argument that glides effortlessly through the megaphone but really amounts to little, I know so many people who now travel abroad for healthcare, can’t get specific treatments etc. our government managers do this to maximise profits for the exchequer. We have nothing because of How horrible Irish people are to each other.
@Thesaltyurchin: its not a “granular argument” its simple supply and demand and there has been an explosion in demand for not just GPs but other services etc and the demand is purely driven by population growth
@Paul Keenan: Sorry but its driven by bad services, population growth is just more fuel to burn, at least all the bluster maybe makes us do something about the cr@p infrastructure.
@Paul Keenan: we’re training 200 GPs a year mate, even if all immigration stopped yesterday we’d still be having this problem. Saying the demand is driven “purely” by population growth is just misinformation and if I were you I’d read up more on an issue before forming such a strong opinion.
All them fffg voters don’t care. Neither does fffg. A match made in hell, methinks.
@Paul Gorry: HSE is payin nothing to the trainee nurses – is simply a modern day slavery that government allows.
No wonder nobody will ever want to become a nurse or a doctor in this backward county.
How can they keep getting away with it is unbelievable.
@Lei tatt: what is the going rate for college placements for other courses. Nurses used to get paid when they were training however the nurses union wanted the qualification to be college based rather than work based, can’t have it both ways.
The HSE bears full responsibility for this and until we abolish it completely, nothing will change. The primary reason for the GP shortage in Ireland is that the HSE’s contract terms and payment structures are unattractive, discouraging both new and existing doctors from working in general practice. The HSE sets artificial price caps on the amount of money that GPs can charge patients. This means many doctors simply can’t afford to stay in business or have no incentive to expand their practices. GPs are paid the same rate regardless of demand. Even as patient numbers rise, GPs can’t increase their fees to match the extra workload. In less populated areas, where patient numbers are lower, GPs can’t charge enough to make a living, so they either move to cities or leave the country entirely.
@William Jennings: fifteen years ago the only part of the Irish health system working was gps, enter into government the labour party and woke ideology and hey presto that’s broken too.
@Ger McCarthy: Yes, I couldn’t agree more. When Labour got into government with Fine Gael, they expanded the medical card scheme. This proved to be the final nail on the coffin of Irish healthcare as even GPs weren’t reliable or efficient. It sounded great on paper, more people could access subsidised healthcare. However, this move failed to address the underlying structural issue, the lack of GPs to serve an increasingly large patient base. This led to an increase in demand without any corresponding increase in supply. GPs found themselves overloaded with medical card patients, and because their fees were capped, they couldn’t increase their income to compensate for the increased workload. They believed in the delusional idea of “socialised” GP care, despite nothing in life being free.
@William Jennings:
Leftists are mor#ns, they build nothing and destroy everything, but the Irish only have themselves to blame,they keep voting for them!
@William Jennings: I agree with you. I was unlucky enough to end up in hospital last week. 3 days in a+e with a heart/blood issue. The poor doctors and nurses were brilliant. Flat out working the whole time. To say we’ve a third world system is an understatement. They should all be paid hundreds of thousands to put up with the conditions they’ve to work in. To say the treatment on patients is inhumane is an understatement. Thank you to all the staff.
@Tony Murphy: “To say we’ve a third world system is an understatement”. I think you need to travel more
@William Jennings: €70/ Gp visit and €30 for nurse to take bloods?
@William Jennings: No, we should not price people out of the ability to get healthcare and put market economics into people’s ability to live. That is cruel. While I’m sure there are a lot of structural problems with the HSE that lead to this, I am still doing the research on this topic, every single medical professional I’ve seen interviewed isn’t making a living because of the /housing crisis/ and wants to move away /because they’re overworked/.
@William Jennings: the demand on GPs is an inevitability of the fact that people are getting sick and are asking for help. If you price them out of it by allowing GPs to raise said prices, they’re not exactly going to stop getting sick – theylljust avoid the doctors until they end up in the emergency room or die. By preventing people from accessing this healthcare, You’re just pushing the problem from our overwhelmed GPs to our overwhelmed hospitals. Or pushing people into the cemetery. The demand will always be there. We need to address the issues with supply.
Population increases means their should be more GPs. The fact there are not means the government planned for this.
Government acts like we’re still in the 2000s.
Another ‘benefit’ of mass illegal invasion…
@Kieran Conroy: but who is to blame the government? Of course in my eyes they are asleep at the wheel as per usual, only in it for their own interests, as everybody knows but everybody is afraid to say it and speak the truth, time for changing in Ireland out with all these corrupt politicians.
@Kieran Conroy: the vast majority of the population increase is due to the economy, and the jobs created as a result. Nothing to do with an “illegal invasion”
@Kieran Conroy: the problems with health and housing already existed before “mass immigration” stop stirring up hate
@Mike B: Maybe these problems did already exist but they have been made much worse with the mass illegal invasion of mainly young men who should be handcuffed and deported TODAY. All of them. Every last one.
@Kev Kerr: Yea. Right…LOL
@Kieran Conroy: the information is freely available on line. All you need to do is search for it
@Kev Kerr: but what are they doing
@Chutes Idiot: you have been peddling this multi account trolling for far too long now – time to wake wakey and find something more productive to do with your time
@john o connor: what do you think they’re doing? They’re working, in all sorts of roles, in hospitality, healthcare, tech, the list goes on
And I hope people don’t find a surprising this country has been run so badly for so long, that it’s inevitable that this was going to happen. The politicians are living in the clouds and I’m glad Conor McGregor stood up yesterday and spoke some truth about it we need a voice here in art and somebody to express how the population feels rather than a bunch of clowns Acting on our behalf the so-called government a bunch of liars destroying Ireland, changes drastically needed and I hope the people of Ireland will stand up now for our rights
Labour party take a bow,
That’s because they allowing to many people into the country who are also going to GPs
Yet telling the world, Conor does not speak for us
Stop flooding the country with chances, who all get medical cards then.
@Gary Condren:
I go to the local pharmacy every month and pay €80 for various medications. This is the maximum payment under the drug payment scheme. Every time I go I’m surrounded by foreigners getting whatever they need. 3 Euro please… 4.50 please … I feel like a mug in my own country.
Another thing not exactly helping is GPs expanding their services into Aesthetics. People in need of medical care cant get an appt for a week because slots are booked up with Botox and Chemical peels.
@Brendan Whyte: i imagine it’s barely a fraction of the system, but it frustrates me massively that every time i have a cold or a sniffle, I have to make an in person appointment with my doctor in order to get a sick note for my job.
That is a noddle scratcher, what changed? Mmmmmm
GP’s are useless , they open the book to describe a medications , they are brainless to diagnose a cancer or MS, self immune disease, they are waste of time and money ,waiting list at consultants are months long , because of the GP slow minds
@sakk sa: stop visiting your local witch doctor.
@Kieran Menon: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2008/apr/13/nhs.cancer1
@sakk sa: the GPs aren’t like that because of some uncontrolled stupidity, the GPs are like that because they’re overwhelmed and because the system overwhelms them further.
All the immigration stuff aside + the fact we only train 200/250 GP’s max a year(the same amount retire or take that time off sick every year) there are very few GP’s who work 70 hours a week anymore (why should they). Very few single handed practices are left where they do work those hours which would actually be the equivalent of 2/2.5 GP’s these days. As many female GP’s are joining as male GP’s and female GPs usually marry upward socially (I.e. other doctors) and therefore don’t need to work the income or the hours that a single doctor household would. (This is a generalisation but in population cross sections even if this was true 30 percent of the time, which it is, all the lack of hours working means less patients seen). The scary truth is we are in a MASSIVE crisis….getting worse
@N.F. Court: great comment. Add to this the increase in demand, from more people with medical cards, immigration, people having more disposable income to pay, older population etc and we have arrived at the current situation. Demand is only going to increase so more training places are needed to meet it.
You can’t even get a GP in an urban centre as none are taking on new patients
We need to address the root cause issue and that is it needs to be made easier to get into medicine in Ireland, there needs to be more financial help for students in order to study and make this a career.
It’s nothing to do with immigration or any other crazy conspiracy theories. It’s to do with the fact that it’s extremely hard to get into medicine and some people would rather prefer to be a YouTuber instead.
We need to increase the GP training places much more. The primary medical degree takes 6 years of hard work and study followed by 4 years GP training, balancing work and exams. Unless we improve the working conditions for doctors we will lose valuable staff , one of the best in the world.
Do I (a) read and attempt to comprehend this article or (b) jump to the comment section and say something about ‘mass immigration’ and ‘open borders’?
@Jack Hayes: do both, influx of people is mentioned though… And not for the green green grass I’m afraid….
My GP showed me his patient number. Between him and his wife, they have 33,000 patients to provide care to. We absolutely need initiatives to entice GPs to come to Ireland, whether Irish graduates or not!
Good luck if looking for a GP outside Dublin, midlands just impossible.
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