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I DIDN’T REALLY see myself as a ‘carer’. I saw myself as a mother who happens to have three wonderful boys, each with their own unique needs and – let’s face it – demands!
I don’t work outside the home, because I can’t. That’s the truth.
I have been living in a secret world for about 12 years now. A world where I don’t know how to answer that question; “What is it you do for a living?” I normally say “I am an at home mom”, which is met with the usual nods and the smiles. When I feel braver I say “I am a full-time carer for my son”. Why is that answer braver? Because it is. There are always follow up questions, “Oh, what does he have?” or “I’d have never known” or the really obnoxious reply: “Really? Wow. So you’re on the social.”
I don’t get a break
My day is not spent sitting and watching day-time TV, despite what an awful lot of society thinks. I don’t get a break when my two eldest boys are at school. My mornings are spent cleaning, hoovering, changing sheets, washing clothes, trying my best to dry them despite the weather, thinking ‘if I don’t have that duvet cover dry by this evening I’m unsure if he will sleep’.
When I’ve done all I can do with that side of the housework, I’ve to start the dinner, get all the kitchen cleaned and interact with my youngest toddling son, who, like most toddlers, cannot be trusted for two seconds.
While dinner is cooking, I’m wary of the clock. It seems to speed up once 12 o’clock strikes! I double-check my white board to ensure I know when and where I have to be for the rest of this week. Appointments are a must, but boy are they an inconvenience – especially the ones that require me to bring Ethan along so his team can talk to me while he runs wild. They always have to send me an email to remind me about what ‘we’ spoke about during the appointment—trust me, there is no ‘we’ in that conversation, unless I’ve a point to make.
I’ve to get Ethan’s clothes ready so the transition from uniform to casual clothes goes smoothly. I’ve to run up to ensure my middle son’s desk is clutter free and ready for the daily torture that is his homework—J has ADHD.
Hectic and demanding days
The boys come home at 3pm. The toddler is still up and very cranky, but in his wisdom, refuses a nap at every opportunity. Dinner is served. I spoon feed Ethan and my toddler while my side of dinner gets colder. If I remember something like ‘the cooker ring is still on’, we all must get up to check (it’s not safe to leave Ethan and toddler alone, for any length of time).
J begins the daily ‘torture’ and spends most of his time coming in and out of the room informing me of the random thoughts that pop into his mind. I try not to get annoyed. I’m not always successful.
Ethan and toddler are having some sort of pooping contest. I’m the referee and the cleaning lady. I’ve no choice but to participate. While cleaning the toddler, Ethan will want my attention or be so engrossed in his TV that he will start yelping and screaming, which used to frighten the toddler. However, now the toddler thinks that’s a perfectly acceptable behaviour and joins in. I have a headache normally by 5pm.
The torture of J’s homework ends around 6.30pm after much arguing about what he has and has not to do for his English, Maths and so on. Then daddy comes home. I have my second warm cup of coffee of the day, in peace.
I prepare the tea while I listen to the radio. I get all the medication out and prepare it for both the boys. I make lunches for the next day.
We have our tea. The boys go to bed roughly at 8pm. J objects and refuses to go. Ethan happily goes up and finally falls asleep about 9pm. Toddler just got moved into a ‘big boy’ bed – need I say more?! J finally gives up and is asleep by 11.30pm.
We go to bed.
I am exhausted
I’m up by 6.45am. I’m always trying to be one step ahead of Ethan, as Ethan is a ‘smearer’. I shower him slowly, trying not to upset him as his body is stiff from the night’s rest. He has just turned 13 and is built like a house, the last thing I want is to get a ‘smack’ from him, for not knowing he was sore. I dress him, which hurts my back as I’ve to manoeuvre him in order to get him dressed. I try to strip Ethan’s bed before the toddler announces that he is ‘weady for bekkie’ over his baby gate.
J leaves at 7.40am with his daddy. Ethan luckily has a bus collect him at 8.20am and I am very lucky to have remembered to have brushed my teeth by 10am!
I am exhausted. I am a weight lifter. I am a nurse. I am a specialist. I am a doctor. I am a teacher. I am an advocate. I am a mediator. I am a secretary. I am an occupational therapist. I am a speech and language therapist. I am a physiotherapist. I am a cook (not a great one). I am a children’s entertainer. I am a cleaner. I am clown, when I need to be. I am an encourager. I am a holder of secrets. I am a bottomless pit of information about children’s rights… Yet, I am insulted regularly by what ‘title’ is given to people like me. I am looked down upon due to being ‘just a carer’.
I am a mother to three wonderful boys; each have their own unique needs and wants. I am also a full-time carer… I am a writer… I am funny… I am sociable (when given the chance)… I am an optimist… I am far more than ‘just a carer’… I am everything to three little boys, while these boys are everything to me.
“So, what do you do for a living?”
‘I’m Ger, wife to David and mother to three wonderful boys, Ethan, J and baby D. We live in the city of the Tribes! Our world was rocked to its core in 2008, when Ethan was diagnosed with Hunter Syndrome, a life limiting condition. We are slowly learning to laugh and live again in our ‘new’ world.’ (Geraldine Renton blogs at www.geraldinerenton.com)
This week (8-14 June) is National Carers Week, with events happening all over the country to recognise the work of family carers. Check out the website (www.carersweek.ie) for details of events in your local area.
Technical groups and opposition parties have supported government policies but remained in opposition. This stroke is about being part of government and the opposition at the same time. You can dress it up anyway you want, but a stroke is a stroke and these cute hoors are pulling an almighty stroke and the wool over the eyes of those who bothered to go to the ballot box in November.
@Paul Linehan: Divide and subtract governance.
Peadar Tóibín TD, the leader of Aontú, said the net migration figures showed a population the size of Galway city was being added each year, and called for a stricter immigration system.He said: ‘These are big numbers of people coming in. We are not seeing the infrastructure capacity increased to be able to facilitate this increased population. The reality is the government has to make sure the numbers, in terms of asylum… are those who are flee – ing war and violence and not for economic reasons.’…Well said Peadar, we need more sensible voices like this in the Dáil, not less!
@Finn Barr: peadar actually speaks common sence and never since day one of hearing his voice has he ever changed his views or visions, rarity these days in any political arena, commendable.
@Darran Macken: Absolutely… I don’t know him personally but I am a member.
@Finn Barr: Couldn’t agree more Man.
@Donna Fallon: Abortions for all!!
Fianna Fàil and Fine Gael pr9tecting democracy again, no actually, doing their best to stifle the opposition by taking spesking time with independents that are in government acting like the opposition.
@Brian D’Arcy: Verona Poacher turned Gamekeeper
Same old …talking out of both sides of their Mouth’s
@New Boy: it goes to show you what sort of donkey we have in the so called government we have
Whats is it about?… it’s work? this is what our politician’s do, why we pay them a decent salary, to pretty much have chats with each other to no avail… maybe it’s a very least ‘content’ for media outlets, perhaps ‘creating employment’ as result. I don’t see very much in quality planning or infrastructure
It was always going to go the legal route. It will not be quickly decided either.
Perfect in the run up to the Easter break.
Lowery for taisoch…..he’s a genius already made mehole his b1t€h
@David Cotter: a convicted criminal to lead the country??
Anything that man touches turns to sh@@e
@sean weir: except he isn’t convicted but that’s just more of your disinformation.
Our two puppets, Harris and Martin, it’s my turn now. No, you went last time. I never got a go. You can go next. No, I want to go now. Every other country in the world has one leader. Joke of a country
Carol Nolan’s activity on social media is highly questionable, regularly sharing posts and interacting with the utter dregs of Irish racists on Twitter.
@Jacintha Dumbrell: And Toìbín, the statements he makes are constantly false
@Jacintha Dumbrell: get her cancelled so, u woke gimp…oops I forgot- those days are over, aren’t they? Lol
@Finn Barr: Sorry my opinion has you so triggered Snowflake ;)
@Jacintha Dumbrell: If we only had more carol nolans in power, we would have an amazing country. Common sense is not racist. Ye woke are not like it
@N D K: she’s a fooking reactionary and you supporting her makes you one as well. This country has been run by reactionaries for decades and look where that led us.
@N D K: are you joking, another independent who will say anything so they get 30 seconds on the news , independents are a complete joke ,no one knows what they stand for ,it’s all about the parish and feck the country, Martin and co don’t have a clue what they are doing,wait until trump starts with his tariffs,we are fecked with this bunch
@Mic JHintl: could you give an example of the social progress she is against? I’m not clued in with her Twitter contributions
Verona Murphy out of Ceann Comhairle.
The independents agreement should be scrapped. They are all useless already.
Go back to square one … election.
SF and the far left are squarely to blame for these appalling scenes we witnessed today, a dark day for Irish politics
@pee wee: TROLL !!!!
@pee wee: I would normally be a government supporter but SF & Labour can’t be blamed for prioritising democracy, democracy which is cherished but yet in peril by roughshod antics of prospective government.
@pee wee: it was a primitive strike and a sad day for Irish politics. Shame on SF for this, so to disrupt the naming of a taoiseach,,,,, “we have the second biggest party, yada, yada, yada”, time of the month maybe? There was too much estrogen today on show. And they made a mockery of Ireland for the rest of the world to see
@pee wee: thank god we are starting to see a real opposition at last
@John Aherne: “time of the month”?? Are you suggesting the entire opposition, including all the male deputies, had their period today, and that was the problem? Genuinely funny.
FFG have brought Lowery into some disturbing devil’s triangle, it’s caused contagion among FFG, and they’ve gone completely out in the open with their contempt for the republic and her citizens. The mockery was averted, thankfully, by the opposition. FFG will need to back down on this one
Today was to elect a Taoiseach, no speaking time, no other votes, no business outside of this. The opposition prevented this from happening. They have stopped a government being formed by blatantly breaking Dail rules, disrespecting the Dail and it’s chair and giving 2 fingers to everyone in Ireland. Perhaps this is going to be the tactic of them as it worked in the states.
@Anthony Curran: Both FF and FG have manipulated the Dail to suit their wants with no challenge or protest for a number of weeks now. They’ve had their ardfheiss and presented themselves to the press with their typical nod and a wink politics. They’ve done deals with crooks and gombeens to get this through and you don’t think the opposition should be up in arms on the first day back? What do you want the opposition of a morally corrupt government to do?
@Bryan: 100%
A sad day indeed, SF and the far left have once again highlighted to the world that Ireland is a backward country, full of thicks
@pee wee: are u related to Dav doe Dav
@Enzo Maximuis: same lad I would say
Tweedledum and Tweedldee resolved to have a battle as Tweedledum said Tweedledee had spoiled his nice new rattle @
Micheal Martin will have to give something more to Lowry to get him to sit on the government benches, and that deal will be struck overnight
Ha ha ha ha this is great
If you’re in Opposition you can decide to support or not support a government depending any given situation. However it’s illogical and very worrying to demand that you have the right to be part of the Government and part of the Opposition simultaneously.
The technical group like a gang late for a comedy show “seats over in the corner lads, slide in round the side, they won’t notice. And if no one likes what the clown on stage is saying, just agree with them. The clown knows you already like him.”
Right or wrong does not count with this.
Morals never came into it. Protocol and Procedure and Rules and Regulations do
People scream and shout and the game is not what they think it is.
Aontu pulled the master stroke, said one thing and then did the other.
Politics, a dirty game!
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