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'When you’ve never been told you’re good at anything, it’s hard to find confidence'

No matter what your experience of formal education, or your age, it’s never too late to return to learning, writes Anne Redmond.

GROWING UP IN 1950s and 1960s Wexford, I hated school. It filled my stomach with dread, and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I had dyslexia, a learning difficulty, which wasn’t understood and certainly wasn’t treated with patience at school.

At 14, I left school, and went to work in a local supermarket. I got married and then children came along.

My life was filled with dinners, school runs, and working. My only hobby was watching television from the safety of my sofa.

I realised I had no hobbies

Just over 12 years ago, the local shop where I had worked for years sold up. I lost my job. My children were grown up. I was at a complete loss; I felt vulnerable and scared.

My whole life to that point had revolved around working locally and providing for my family. This was the first time in my life when I looked inwards and realised I had no hobbies and a very limited social circle. I realised I didn’t really know myself at all.

What was I interested in? What were my talents? Was I even good at anything? When you’ve never been told you’re good at anything, it’s hard to find any confidence within.

Taking that first step

I live down the road from a centre called Access 2000, and for years I saw women coming and going -  I was curious. I knew it was a community centre of sorts but assumed it was for older ladies.

One day I saw a sign that they were holding an open day for people interested in what they do, so I bit the bullet and went along. Some of the women attending Access 2000 spoke about their experiences, and I realised they had gone through similar difficulties in life to me – difficult childhoods, a fear of school and a lack of self-awareness.

Inspired by what I heard, I signed up to a computer course. Despite my positive introduction the thoughts of going to a course brought back the nightmares of school. I needn’t have worried. The tutors were patient and I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t feel comfortable with.

The learning bug

That first computer course gave me the bug for learning – I wanted to learn more, and to find out more about myself in the process.

I had always enjoyed maintaining my garden, so I decided to take a horticulture course. As the course progressed, I started to see small but positive changes in myself. I started piping up in class, asking questions, sharing my experiences and thoughts.

My new-found confidence stretched to my work life. Just before I took that first step into Access 2000, I had started a part-time position at a local shop for the National Council for the Blind. Buoyed by my new-found confidence, I suggested that we decorate the window as part of the Festive Windows Competition as part of Wexford Opera Festival. I modelled the window on one of the operas, and the shop won the ‘Best Dressed Small Shop’ award.

I know now that I am good at something

Since I stepped into Access 2000 that first day, I am unrecognisable from the woman I was. I know now that I am good at something.

I’m good at communicating. I’m artistic. I have a skill for listening to and identifying with others in similar situations. This is thanks to the wonderful tutors and staff who treat every person who steps through their doors with respect and dignity. They are always encouraging us.

No matter what your experience of formal education, or your age, it’s never too late to return to learning. Take that first step and pop into your local community adult education centre – it could change your life.

Anne Redmond is a native of Wexford, and is a learner, volunteer, and member of the board of management of Access 2000 in Wexford

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    Mute Raymond Burke
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    Mar 10th 2018, 7:48 PM

    Heartwarming article

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    Mute Eimear Griffin
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    Mar 10th 2018, 7:50 PM

    What an inspiring story. Well done to you Anne you sound like a very creative and artistic person I am so glad you did not let having a unfair education system keep you down.

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    Mute Sighle A. Ni Chuana
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    Mar 10th 2018, 9:52 PM

    @Eimear Griffin: well done. Great to see people getting a second chance and taking that on board. I remember as a tutor in adult education meeting lots of people who took that second chance and succeeded in getting to do courses and progressing on to excellent employment; some even went on to third level courses. I remember meeting one man who told me he spent all of his primary education school years in high infants. He left school illiterate but learned to read and write very quickly and then did other courses. The confidence that literacy gave him was unbelievable.

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    Mute Brian Ellis
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    Mar 10th 2018, 11:56 PM

    Great article Anne

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    Mute Alois Irlmaier
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    Mar 11th 2018, 2:29 AM

    Too many here want to take confidence away from others because this is what they lack as well, if they don’t have it then they don’t want anyone else to have it either?

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    Mute Tommy
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    Mar 11th 2018, 12:17 AM

    As for any current job you currently find yourself in always find ways to up-skill yourself in the event you lose your current position.
    Doing courses to bulk up your cv is called picking the low lying fruit but also shows huge intent on self improvement.

    Always expect the unexpected cause you never know where u might find yourself in a years time.
    Always seek to improve yourself by way of learning cause that brain of yours is a muscle that loses its ability for knowledge retention the longer u stay idle and/or just follow your normal daily pattern with no deviation whatsoever

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    Mute Paul Jennings
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    Mar 10th 2018, 10:12 PM

    They still haven’t found a name for my condition, but “hey, Paul, you’ll be the first to know when we do!” “A bit slow,” “a bit thick,” “not up to speed,” “neither ornament nor use,” “a bit simple.” And at school, ” Paul tries hard/doesn’t try hard. Paul lacks confidence. Mannerly. Disruptive. Scatty. A bit giddy… A bit, in these contexts means a lot – right?
    I got tired using quotations. Another one, a plant hire engineer hit me with, “a child could work that out!” So I appear to have such a high IQ it puts me further along the autism spectrum. As a behavioural psychologist said after testing me, “right enough, you might have achieved more with less!” Which is a bit like telling me if (only) I’d been born with tits not balls I could have been a woman. Challenged you say. Thick…?

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    Mute Traolach
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    Mar 10th 2018, 8:52 PM

    More snowflake c***, man up and just apply yourself, if it works great, if not try again and again

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    Mute Catherine Sims
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    Mar 10th 2018, 9:52 PM

    @Traolach: have you always been this clueless or is this a new thing you are trying.

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    Mute Barry O Neill
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    Mar 11th 2018, 2:42 PM

    Thats Great to hear,
    This system is wrong and needs to change,
    I was a victim of this also but fortunately I found something in myself, met the right people and with luck, overcame it.

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