LIKE YOUR SUGAR daddies? Then you’ll be interested to know that a recent study from the ever-analytical minds at Confused.com has revealed that ladies who love older men should focus on partners four years and four months older than themselves. The study states this is the “ideal age gap”.
See how exact those figures are? That’s because they’re based on science.
Or… based on a rather shoddy survey taken by what appears to be a selection of truly backwards women who would make even the pluckiest of feminists lose faith in modern society. But, you know, I’m not one for pedantry.
The findings, which range from the brow-furrowing “rule” that men must be the older partners in relationships, to the gasp-and-clutch-your-pearls-inducing, “over a third of women believe that if a woman is dating a much older man, he must be very rich”, really are a trip back to the 1950s (and not in a happy, dance-y Grease kind of way – we’re definitely getting a more sinister, Mad Men vibe here).
The survey responses took me back to when I was about 10 years old (note: not in the ‘50s – bear with me) and we had one of the hottest summers I can remember. During one particularly hot week during the school holidays, my mother and I shut ourselves into the one air-conditioned room in the house and embarked upon an Audrey Hepburn film marathon. About three films in, my mother asked me what I thought. I replied, “I think she’s lovely, but doesn’t she ever get to have a boyfriend her own age?”
Sabrina Fair, Roman Holiday, Charade… I still love them dearly, but very much as the period pieces my mother presented them as: when these films were made, she told me, people thought women should be young and pretty, while men were supposed to be the older, wiser and more successful partners. My mother assured me these standards had changed for the better, and I should embark upon my dating life accordingly.
Apparently, however, the folks at Confused.com would disagree. Come on people – are we really not over the Daddy in Shining Armour complex?
In the survey, women admitted they are more financially dependent on men, with 55 per cent saying that they couldn’t afford to pay their rent or mortgage if they were on their own.
Ok, so I get that there are still massive salary discrepancies between the sexes, and women are still often overlooked for promotions because of the baby-making abilities of their lady-parts. So yes, a significant proportion of women in relationships will be making less than their male partners. But our survey-takers didn’t stop there, going on to say that this financial stability was one of the biggest reasons that women often went for older men when choosing a partner.
Really? I mean, really? Has Destiny’s Child taught us nothing?
“Tell me how you feel about this?/Try to control me boy you get dismissed/Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills/Always 50/50 in relationships.”
If only Mary Wollstonecraft had had such a way with words, she might have propelled 18th century women into immediate equality with their male counterparts (or persuaded them to throw their hands up at her, at the very least).
Other reasons for women choosing older men included the belief that they could “learn a different perspective” from a senior suitor, while others looked forward to having their youth “rub off” on an antiquated admirer.
Since when is interesting life experience inextricably linked to age? Are you hoping to gain perspective on what it’s like to be closer to death? And what’s this about rubbing off on an older gent? Women of the world: this is how we get men with horrendous comb-overs and “fun” shirts. You haven’t “revived” him in any way – he’s crying inside, and everybody knows it.
So rather than seeking a partner who’s an arbitrary number of years and months older than you, let’s all do the world a favour and get our priorities straight: maybe even try “focusing” on men who we get along with, or go crazy and find someone who’s supportive of us in our personal and professional endeavours. It’s a novel idea, I know, but it might just be crazy enough to work – even if Don Draper wouldn’t approve.
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