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"In that moment, looking 'gay' no longer felt like a negative thing. It no longer felt dangerous."

The swell of positivity towards the LGBT community is affecting all parts of my life, from how I feel walking down the street to the future I see for myself.

I FIRST NOTICED the change on Saturday.

Standing at the bus stop in a checked shirt, skinny jeans, a pair of VANs and a Yes Equality badge to match, I copped a group of teenagers taking a double glance.

This in itself was nothing new.

Growing up as a tomboy, and as such not fitting in with the stereotypical ‘girlie’ crowd, has always resulted in unwanted attention.

This time however, something was different. Their glances (which were probably pretty innocuous in any event) didn’t elicit the usual ‘Do I look obviously gay?’ internal concerns.

To quote Panti Bliss, I didn’t ‘check myself.’ I wasn’t worried that a remark would be passed in regards to my sexual orientation. To be frank, I didn’t care.

And why?

Well, in that moment, looking ‘gay’ no longer felt like a negative thing. It no longer felt dangerous.

After all, in the weeks gone by, LGBT people like me had been spoken about on every media outlet – talk that on the whole had been hugely positive. To add to this, early tallies were indicating that the Yes campaign would emerge victorious with a landslide victory in the Marriage Equality referendum.

And so I found myself thinking. Let them look. Let them think I’m gay. I am. I’m proud to be.

You see, for the first time since I came out at nineteen, I felt accepted by my country.

This referendum has engendered a swell of positivity towards the LGBT community

My love was about to be legitimised and enshrined in my country’s constitution. I, and my lesbian, gay and bisexual peers were on the cusp of no longer being perceived as ‘different’ where it mattered.

While many within the LGBT community have often expressed irritation in regards to the necessity of a referendum when it came to deciding on our right to marry, I believe that this referendum has engendered a swell of positivity towards the LGBT community that the automatic implementation of legislation would have not.

Throughout the process of debate and discourse that a referendum inevitably brings, the Yes Equality campaign brought the ambitions and desires of LGBT people into the sitting rooms of millions of straight people and their families.

This resulted in LGBT visibility on a scale never before seen on our island.

In regards to the polling day itself, it was pretty overwhelming to hear elderly neighbours talk feverishly about equality and ‘marriage for all’ on foot of casting their vote.

To see women pushing prams with what I assumed to be their husbands, speaking in hushed and enthusiastic tones about a ‘Yes’ vote.

The notion of such scenes 13 years ago would have seemed almost dreamlike.

Back then, being gay meant that people looked at you with suspicion and derision – particularly if you were 14 years old and a student at an all-girls school.

What’s even more mind blowing is the fact that the handful of girls who throughout my teenage years ridiculed me for being gay, most likely made up the throngs of young people who voted Yes on the 22nd.

This does not to me feel hypocritical. What it does feel like however is recognition – recognition for the hurt that I and my LGBT peers experienced whilst growing up.

It is also a sign of the enormous progress that this country and our people have made in regards to acceptance and fairness.

Bullies won’t cease to exist – but they will have less ammunition 

While I’m aware that homophobic bullying will not end tomorrow, nor in six months time, I do believe that the passing of the Marriage Equality referendum has rendered bullies with less ammunition.

After all, how can they mock someone who’s love is recognised by the state and as such, is viewed to be on the same par as theirs and their parents?

The support that the LGBT community has received in this referendum from thousands upon thousands of straight people also reveals how homophobia will now no longer be tolerated by most.

There was a time when making a ‘witty’ (insulting) remark publicly about two lesbians or two gay men was viewed as fair game.

While there undoubtedly will be people (perhaps on the comments sections of articles such as these) who continue to ridicule individuals for their sexual orientation, it is now no longer seen as the ‘done’ thing to do.

In fact, it is now so frowned upon that the majority of people who feel the need to make derogatory comments about LGBT people do so only under the guise of anonymous Twitter accounts.

I have to confidence to no longer hide

A number of months ago, I wrote about my reluctance to kiss a date on foot of leaving a gay bar.

Make no mistake about it, vigilance, no matter who you are, is always advisable when out and about late at night.

However I can honestly say that the overwhelming support that my country has shown in regards to same sex marriage in recent weeks, and again formally on May 22nd, has now given me the confidence to no longer hide.

What this means in practical terms is that when I do meet Missus Right, I will hold her hand with my head held high as we walk around our city’s streets.

Furthermore, if a straight man approaches her in a bar and offers to buy her a drink, I will happily inform him, should we take that next step, that she is my wife.

Christine Allen is in her third year of Information Technology at DCU – a part-time course funded for those that are unemployed. In between trying to get to grips with JAVA programming and looking for work, she loves nothing better than sitting down at the laptop with a cup of tea, and writing. She has been published in DIVA Magazine, on TheJournal.ie and Gaelick.com. One day she would like to be known as the lesbian version of Carrie Bradshaw. Follow Christine on Twitter @AllenChristine2.

‘Ireland is sending a real signal to other countries that change is possible’

This referendum will be remembered as a victory for equality, democracy and love

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82 Comments
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    Mute Ciarán McPhillips
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 6:17 AM

    I now know lots of statistics about it but the article doesn’t actually say WHAT it is. Let me help- Sepsis is a life-threatening condition that arises when the body’s response to infection causes injury to its own tissues and organs. Common signs and symptoms include fever, increased heart rate, increased breathing rate, and confusion.

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    Mute Deepee
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 6:59 AM

    @Ciarán McPhillips: Thank you Ciarán. It’s a pretty ridiculous oversight in the article. It’s like saying, “You need to push one of these buttons. One could kill you, the other one won’t. That’s a bit bad isn’t it? Ah well. Best of luck. Bye now. Bye bye”

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    Mute Gerard McConnell
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:25 AM

    @Deepee: Which button Deepee, which button?!!!

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    Mute Deepee
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:33 AM

    @Gerard McConnell: you haven’t even been told about the button??? I’d love to tell you Gerard, but I can’t

    14
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    Mute Ciarán McPhillips
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 8:42 AM

    @Deepee: enough procrastination. I’ve decided. I’m going to press his b

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    Mute Deirdre McDonnell
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 8:42 AM

    My mother is currently in hospital having developed sepsis three weeks ago today. She had total organ failure,ended up in a coma for a week, got through that had another complication and needed life saving surgery and put back into a coma for the second time. The doctors don’t know how she is still alive.
    We as a family will never be the same after all we have gone through after witnessing how rapid sepsis took over her body,the amount of times the team called us in to a room telling us to prepare for the worst. She is very lucky to be alive and if it wasn’t for the amazing team in resus and ICU in the Lourdes hospital she wouldn’t be here. God knows when she will get out of hospital and when she does she will never be the same person. It is not like the flu.

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    Mute Rachel
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 11:38 AM

    Sepsis very nearly took our dad from us just before Christmas last year. He went into hospital in September with a bladder infection, and next thing (in the 12hrs from when he presented in A&E) he went from bad to worse and was in a coma. 3 surgeries, countless antibiotics, transfusions and so much more later, we were prepared for the worst and I will never forget how helpless we all felt – 2 at a time allowed into ICU, whispering through tears begging our dad to wake up. My sister was 2 weeks from having her first baby at the same time he became ill, and it really seemed as though he was going to go and the baby was going to come at the same time. Never want to see my mother go through anything like that again.

    Thanks to the absolutely incredible and superhero care provided by the ICU in Naas hospital, he eventually responded to treatment, woke up after 2 weeks and we had him home just before Christmas. He still has a lot of recovery to do, but I would beg every reader of this article to take sepsis extremely seriously. I doubted its severity myself until it happened to my family and it is absolute hell on earth. 3 in 10 people survived what happened to my father – sepsis is very, very serious.

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    Mute Rear Admiral
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:44 PM

    @Rachel: any idea how it happened? open wound or cut?

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    Mute Eibhlín McCarthy
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    Feb 3rd 2018, 3:18 PM

    @Rear Admiral: she said it began with a bladder infection. You don’t need an open wound or cut to develop sepsis (article is misleading) – it can develop from any infection.

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    Mute Daffy the Bear
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 10:26 AM

    The big takeaway in this article for me was that “60% of all deaths in hospital are related to a sepsis infection”. Why are our hospitals so rife with infection??

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    Mute Me_a_monkey
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:11 AM

    Sepsis isn’t a bigger killer that heart disease. There’s on average 5000 fatal heart attacks every year vs 3000 sepsis deaths.

    Heart attack survival rate if you’re not already in hospital is only 10%

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    Mute Mary Ryan
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:17 AM

    @Me_a_monkey: You’re confusing a heart attack (myocardial infarction) with cardiac arrest (heart stops beating). It’s important that people don’t get the wrong information. There is a very good chance of recovery from a heart attack if the patient gets to a hospital quickly.

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    Mute Boyne Sharky
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:33 AM

    @Mary Ryan: And in recent years there appears to be a drive to say that there’s an enormous increase in sepsis cases, bearing in mind 1 in 4 of these are believed to be fatal. I believe there were just over 14,000 cases of sepsis in 2016, if 25% were fatal and it’s believed there are 10,000 cardiac related deaths each year then the figures don’t lie.

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    Mute Me_a_monkey
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:37 AM

    @Mary Ryan: no, I’m not.
    Check the CSO figures for 2016.

    I know the difference between a heart attack and cardiac arrest. If you want to get nutty about it people done die from myocardial infarction, they die from cardiac arrest.

    1,818 deaths alone last year from “acute myocardial infarction”. Under a total of 4505 heart despise related deaths.

    https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/Publications/topics/Heart/Sudden-Cardiac-Death-Task-Force-Report.html

    http://www.cso.ie/en/releasesandpublications/ep/p-vsys/vitalstatisticsyearlysummary2016/

    The cso don’t even list sepsis on the site.

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    Mute Jed I. Knight
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 8:24 AM

    @Me_a_monkey: The HSE appear to have the figure you want, these seem to agree with those quoted by Boyne above;

    https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/publications/Clinical-Strategy-and-Programmes/National-Sepsis-Report-2016.PDF

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    Mute SweepTheLeg
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:10 AM

    Apparently it’s cured by having an abortion. As a man, I hope I never get it.

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    Mute Shannon Mcg
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:36 AM

    @SweepTheLeg: no, the fact is it has a higher chance of occuring during pregnancy. Don’t politicise medicine.

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    Mute Tom Molloy
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:59 AM

    @Shannon Mcg: The death from sepsis of a mother in a Galway hospital was cruelly used by the pro abortion brigade.

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    Mute Johnny Bellew
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 10:04 AM

    The survey is unclear. I knew it was blood poisoning caused by infection but does that count as knowing what it really is?

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    Mute Waters Edge
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 11:12 AM

    People don’t realise how serious a condition it is. A simple urinary tract infection which left untreated can get out of control and turn into a septic infection called urosepsis travelling around the body. It happened to a family member and she became so ill with it, weak, delusional and it took the hospital several attempts using different i.v. antibiotics to get it under control. It was touch and go for a while. I remember the creatinine levels in the kidneys were 550 when normal levels are something like 88-128.

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    Mute Deirdrejosephine Mcgovern
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:31 PM

    we have a short time and speed is the key, It takes about 20 secs to get an Iv line in, bring a urine specimen with you, a dip stick takes a few seconds better still ask you pharmacy for a box of multistix 10, leucocytes, nitrates, protien and blood are indicators specific gravity will let you know if you are dehydrated, our hospitals are overcrowded to the point that there is a good chance that crypto is been coughed up on to open wounds, and we have some bizzar rules

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    Mute Sean Conway
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:26 AM

    It’s like having the flu. go home and take a lemsip.

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    Mute techman
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:32 AM

    @Sean Conway: Sean it’s not like having the flu!

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    Mute Sean Conway
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 9:59 AM

    @techman: The simptoms are similar. i know about it my son had it. and that is what his GP told him to do.

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    Mute Jed I. Knight
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 11:16 AM

    @Sean Conway: I don’t think so. I’m not going to go into a long protracted explanation, but basically I have a condition which leaves me prone to sepsis, I’ve had it 4 times so far. Each time, except one in which I was already in hospital, I was unconscious and brought in by ambulance, believe me it’s nothing like flu.

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    Mute Dave D
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    Feb 3rd 2018, 2:22 AM

    @Sean Conway: It is most certainly not anything like having the flu. I am sorry to hear that your son contracted it…my father survived it in the latter part of 2017 and is still recovering. Should he have just simply “gone home and taken a lemsip” he would no longer be with us today. Having spent hours, both day and night at my fathers bedside in hospital constantly in fear of a decline in his vitals and during the lows praying that at any moment he will start to improve, watching a strong the man go from fit, strong and healthy to weak, lifeless and vulnerable, requiring constant monitoring and medical treatment – I can certainly say it is nothing like the flu. I appreciate that influenza can/has/will kill people of all ages, both comprised due to other illness and those who had no underlying issues. But the ignorance in your comment clearly represents the lack of awareness and knowledge into sepsis in the general population. You seem to know that your son has sepsis yet your GP recommended down time and a lemsip? Time to register with a new GP and thank every lucky star that your child survived. Without treatment of the infection be it viral, bacterial or something else, sepsis cannot resolve with paracetamol???

    Please spare such ignorant comments on a public forum on such a topical and serious issue…

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    Mute Rear Admiral
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    Feb 2nd 2018, 7:48 PM

    are there wall mounted anti viral hand sanitizer spray dispensers in Irish hospitals in every room?

    1
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