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IT’S OFFICIAL – I’M one burnt out lesbian.
As I sit here, typing this article in a crisp checked New Look shirt, I feel exhausted and weary.
With what? Well, to be blunt, my gayness.
No, I’m not unhappy with the fact that I am attracted to women, nor am I ashamed of who I am. What I am however is bored – bored of defining myself solely by my sexual orientation.
Take my Facebook profile. Shared posts from the Lesbian Pride page litter my timeline; while my status updates consist of references to attractive celebrities such as Ella Henderson (any reader will now be aware that I’m ‘mildly’ obsessed.)
Publicising my sexual orientation
In fact it was my social media use which first alerted me to the fact that I was publicising my sexual orientation at an excessive rate.
This realisation took the form of a half typed status update, relating to neck pain that I’d been experiencing. In order to hammer home the severity of my injury, I was in the process of referring to my inability to check out ‘hot girls.’
As I deleted the half formed post the following thought crossed my mind – I have become a Les – being as opposed to a lesbian.
At 26, I had lost my identity to another.
When our Minister for Health Leo Varadkar came out in January of this year, he stated that being gay didn’t ‘define’ him – that his sexual orientation was merely just another facet to his character.
Upon hearing this, my initial and in hindsight ignorant reaction went along the lines of “well that’s because he’s been in the closet.”
In my view at the time, Leo Varadkar’s lack of engagement with gay nightlife, coupled with his decision not to shout his sexuality from the rooftops, didn’t in my mind live up to the behaviour that I then associated with gay people who were out and proud.
However as the weeks passed, I found myself thinking about our Minister’s statement and what it meant for me. After all, wasn’t I a writer, an avid thriller fiction fan – not to mention a bit of an I.T geek? Was my sexual orientation really all that I wanted to be known for?
A separate entity
I also began to ask myself whether I had at some level defined myself, and the LGBT community, as a separate entity from straight people.
This concern came to the fore when a straight woman reacted negatively to my (slightly tipsy) observation that she was “sound for a straight girl.”
Her frank response however swiftly put me in my place.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for gay pride and equality, but I don’t get why you need to wear your sexual orientation on your sleeve – or label others by theirs.”
Needless to say, I sobered up pretty sharpish.
What’s ironic is that not too long ago, being perceived to be a lesbian by my peers was my idea of Armageddon. In fact, between the ages of 12- 18, I strenuously denied any ‘accusations’ that I was attracted to women.
So what changed?
On reflection, I believe that the acceptance and subsequent confidence that I gained in regards to my sexual identity from attending the youth group, altered my view of what it meant to be gay.
While this in itself was nothing but a hugely positive transition, my decision to align my whole self with my sexual orientation wasn’t.
Feeding into stereotypes
By tying every aspect of my life – music, nights out and fashion sense with the G factor, I was essentially just cementing the divide that can at times already exist between the gay and straight community, not to mention feeding into stereotypes – that gay people have some sort of alternative ‘lifestyle’ for one.
I should find some solace however in the fact that I am far from the only gay person to have latched onto their sexual orientation and let it define their character upon coming out.
Looking at the reasoning behind this, perhaps at some level those of us who in the past were oppressed for who we were, and in turn made to feel ashamed, over compensate by aligning ourselves to the extreme with all things LGB or T.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for making your voice heard in relation to the Marriage Equality campaign, speaking out publicly against homophobia from a non dispassionate point of view, or off – handily commenting on the attractiveness of a celebrity. That isn’t excessive – that’s just being yourself.
I also am aware that many of us are not yet welcome within straight venues and have in fact been turfed out for expressing who we authentically are while within them.
However, making a conscious decision to only RSVP to LGBT club nights, or going out of your way to make your sexual orientation known, either on or off – line isn’t necessary – unless asked directly (even then it’s the individuals prerogative on how or if to answer.)
In fact, one could take the view that an individuals lack of a need to reveal their sexual orientation to all and sundry belies a comfort in their own skin that those of us who feel compelled to push our sexuality onto others can only dream about.
Not speaking for everyone
Now, before I get it in the neck, I’m not claiming to speak for every gay person on the island. Nor am I encouraging anyone to hide who they are.
With regard to our social lives and fashion sense, perhaps those of us from the checked shirt brigade (again, guilty as charged), who pledge allegiance to the lesbian night Crush on a monthly basis, are merely just living the lives that we want to lead, in a setting that we feel comfortable.
That said, I can’t help but feel that we should take a leaf out of Leo Varadkar’s book and refrain from solely defining ourselves in tandem with who we are attracted to.
At the very least, we should examine our motivations behind doing so.
Christine is 27 and entering her third year of Information Technology at DCU – a part-time course funded for those that are unemployed. In between trying to get to grips with JAVA programming and looking for work, she loves nothing better than sitting down at the laptop with a cup of tea, and writing. She has been published in DIVA Magazine, on TheJournal.ie and Gaelick.com. She is also Opinions Editor for the DCU newspaper, thecollegeview. One day she hopes to be the next Carrie Bradshaw. Follow Christine on Twitter @AllenChristine2.
This article was originally published in the College View
Did their mothers drop them in?
@Oisín McGovern: Ever tried to ‘drive’ in Dublin? Not pos.
@Oisín McGovern: the great unwashed…..
Give us a break ,eventually they’ll put on a suit and work for daddies company
@James Delaney: Probs become insurance investigators.
@James Delaney: very broad assumption
@James Delaney: Have you read the IPCC report summary? You’re painting them as idealistic hippies but the scientists are on their side scientistrebellion.com
A sit down protest against oil on a pedestrianised street…..well that’s symbolism for ya folks.
@Davey Ohanlon: its the road to the dail.cop on
@Larry Roe: It’s not a road.
@Larry Roe: check your Google maps Tonto….Grafton street runs from Stephen’s Green to Nassau Street…
@Larry Roe:
Didn’t think a sense of humour need a dose of cop on.
@Bri Lyons: The headline is misleading. The article says:
“Students and groups such as Extinction Rebellion, Fridays for Future and Irish Doctors for the Environment gathered in Trinity’s Front Square and marched to the Dáil via Grafton Street, where they staged a sit-down protest.”
i.e. they staged a sit-down outside the Dail, which is on Kildare Street. This ties in with the photograph.
@Kevin Farrell: headline makes perfect sense’en route’ not the same as ‘leads to’
@Kevin Farrell: its actually molesworth street …..
Saying things like “to symbolise the fact that we’re running out of time” is just scaremongering and causing stress in some young people. Ireland will be fine bar some coastal flooding and more rain.
@Celtic Eagle: I’m sure the millions of climate refugees from the countries that won’t be fine will be received warmly in Ireland by the likes of yourself?
@Rochelle: Stop taunting our American-Arabic-Irish Eagle. They have the right to misunderstand symbolism too.
@Celtic Eagle: we won’t be fine. We are going to be seen as a place of safe refugee by hundreds of millions forced to move globally. Not scaremongering at all. Things could get brutal very quickly, we aren’t talking decades either.
@Celtic Eagle: good job ireland us the only country on the planet so
@Celtic Eagle: good job ireland is the only country on the planet so
@Rochelle: unless the militaries and all industries from around completely revamp their ways then we as individuals and as a country are completely wasting our time and money on such green efforts.
@wormtubes: Civil disobedience and protest literally grinds everything to a halt, nothing can function if the ordinary worker refuses to work.
I think people would be startled at how quickly governments would act against those industries and how quickly compromise would be found if the citizens around the world could ever unite on this.
@Rochelle: I wish it could but unfortunately there’s too much corruption, conflict and division for change to happen.
@Celtic Eagle: I’m sure all the other countries that Ireland’s economy depends on for trade will be fine also.
A great bunch of people for sitting down.
@DERRY1973: they might never have walked that much before. A little rest before trotting away behind the whaddawewant with the megaphone.
At least they’re not trying to throw soup on the Book of Kells.
@Wooden Spoon: shhh, don’t give them any ideas!
@Wooden Spoon: I think those doing this were careful to throw soup at artwork protected by a glass and have no intention to damage them. It’s a pity most reports made them look like terrorists while they only want to bring attention to the complete lack of actions from politicians.
@Claude Saulnier: complete lack of action?
You can’t put a chimney on a new house,
You can only buy turf on the black market or buy imported,
The excuse on diesel and petrol is a continuing deterrent despite an unprecedented cost of living crisis,
Electric and Hybrid cars are far cheaper to tax and insure despite the cost of the car being out of reach for many and others struggling to maintain their old diesel,
Any more action from the government that hits the tax payer could be the straw that breaks people so pi$$ off with the tomatoes soup and “just stop oil”.
@Wooden Spoon: yet.
@The Divils Avocado: these are all great points except when used as reasons to continue the genocide that we call climate change
Why don’t they go to China or India and do the protest? We’ve been pumping billions into renewable energy, the majority of the economy relies on services we don’t have any huge industry. We don’t even have our own supply.. or so we’re told. No doubt the government will listen to the protest and lash another few hundred onto the bills.
For all the grief climate protesting has caused, at least these folks are not disrupting peoples lives to raise awareness. Have to commend them for this.
@Paolo Fandango: Yeah, it’s great because we can ignore them and continue driving to the airport to fly away on holidays / driving 1.5km to drop our kids to school in our SUVs / driving to the shops to buy imported plastic tat. #everyoneshouldchangeexceptme
@Type17: cool hashtag bro
@Type17: what would you rather these protestors so then
@Paolo Fandango: typo. What would you rather these protesters do then ?
@Paolo Fandango: I’d rather they disrupt our lives now with protests, and force change, because if they don’t, and disruption comes later, it will be in the form of coastal erosion, destructive weather, unaffordable food, influxes of climate refugees and wars over food and water. You can pay something now, or pay a lot more later…
I’ve nothing against the protest in general but it seems to be the usual wishlist of increased expenditure but nothing on what taxes they want to increase to pay for their largesse. Are Brid Smith and Paul Murphy seeking a large increase in fuel excise taxes or just carbon taxes.
Personally I feel it’s already past the point of no return and we will see more devastation over the coming years as well as the huge numbers migrating to flee areas that can no longer sustain human life. If you think the numbers coming this year are large due to the Ukrainian war then you ain’t seen nothing yet, obviously we’ll need to pay more taxes to support those arriving into our country as well as they’ll have nothing so will need the usual housing, social welfare, language supports, health/education services etc.
Lovely sentiment but unfortunately we are past the point of no return and doomed. 10years left at best and then that’s it.
@Dave Forde: 10 years?
@James Reardon: sorry 5
@Dave Forde: No worries. NATO will have sleepwalked us into ww3 before then. So all good
People are scared of change in all facets. pro, anti, for or against. ‘I have everything so change nothing’ or ‘I have nothing, change everything’… Mad really when you think its pretty much the only certainty in life (apart from death obvs)… anyway, I’ll get my coat.
Flava Flave beeb wearing a clock since the 80s . YEEEEEEH booiiii!
Fair play to them. At least they are taking action. The Big Oil shills on here are moaning as usual, without contributing anything.
have your say