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THIS YEAR’S DARKNESS Into Light walk takes place on Saturday May 12th in aid of Pieta House, proudly supported by Electric Ireland. Participants in more than 170 locations, on four continents, will walk the 5km route to raise funds and awareness.
In the weeks leading up to it, people around Ireland will be sharing their own journeys from Darkness Into Light. For the first part of the series, artist Stephen Considine, founder of BiPolar Bear Wear shares his uplifting story of finding art after a difficult battle with depression and a brave recovery from a suicide attempt.
I’ve had depression since I was a young teenager but I didn’t have a clue that there was a thing called depression. I also have attention deficit disorder and that was going on undiagnosed. From an early teenager I hadn’t a clue about myself and mental illness so it went untreated for years.
When I was about 20 I got what I call the wibbly wobbly wonders and I knew that I really needed an intervention. Things kept snowballing until I became the most depressed snowman ever. When I was 22 or 23 a ridiculously unfortunate event happened where a lot of people died and I just got severely depressed.
I locked myself in a room, I wasn’t eating, I was taking sleeping tablets, I wasn’t going to work or college. I didn’t want to be alive and there’s no other way to put it. I wanted to be happy but I just wanted to sleep the whole time as opposed to not being alive.
I’ll never forget, my dog had a puppy and I couldn’t even pet her or look at her. I was completely numb to everything, I couldn’t show empathy, I just had such a lack of passion and motivation.
It escalated one night when I attempted suicide for the simple reason that I didn’t want to wake up. I was taken to Saint John of God and they literally saved my life. It’s the hardest thing that I’ve ever done but definitely the most important thing that’s ever happened to me. I owe my life to my friends and family who put me in there.
In Saint John of God I was just completely immersed with people who knew everything about me – the patients there understood me and I felt like I was with my own people. There’s something really lovely about being around people who understand you.
At first I didn’t understand what I was going through, I couldn’t verbalise anything but then I was thrown into Saint John of God where everyone talked and there was no stigma so now I will talk to everyone about it.
I don’t think I’d ever return to the point of not wanting to wake up again from what I learned there. I haven’t been completely kosher, I’ve had a few encounters with the black dog since. He’d be barking the odd time but I’m getting better at locking him outside and I haven’t fed him in years.
I decided after that I was going to devote my life to try and pay back the people who kept me alive. If I won the Lotto I’d love to build an in-patient ward in Pieta House. I came together with my other friends who have suffered mental health issues to create BiPolar Bear Wear.
We wanted to make sure if there were young lads like us that they wouldn’t feel alone and clothes are such an important platform for communicating with others and establishing your identity. We’ve made money for St Patrick’s and Pieta House so far, and next on the list are Saint John of God and Talk To Tom in Wexford.
A teacher messaged me last year saying she was doing a mental health week and told the kids to check out BPB. Within a week, one of the students came up and said “thanks so much for putting me onto them, I am now going to see a counsellor, I was in a very bad way”. That’s the be all and end all, it made me so happy. I’m still worried for the kids we haven’t reached yet. It’s so important – it’s life or death, really.
We’re all in debt to the heroes behind Darkness Into Light and Pieta House. Last week a teacher I know in a small school in Cork said that three kids in fifth class are suffering with head wobbles and they’re all availing of Pieta House.
My first Darkness Into Light I was astounded to see so many familiar faces and baffled by the amount of people who are directly or indirectly affected by suicide. It’s so important to see how many people care.
We ended up on the beach in Arklow and I saw this mad Lion King-type of sunrise I’d never seen before. I sat with a friend who I had become close to because we were both suffering, we were pretty troubled and isolated at the time. After the walk I felt so much less alone, it’s really quite a romantic experience.
It gives you hope for mankind. It’s actually the most astounding event in the world. There are even people from Saudi Arabia marching in Darkness Into Light where there’s serious stigma to have a mental illness. It’s really invigorating to walk across the world simultaneously as an army of love.
When you feel worthless and you don’t think anyone would give you an inch, there are so many people leaving their lovely warm beds at 4am and you realise people that you haven’t even met yet care about you – it’s the most lovely feeling.
Join the thousands walking from Darkness Into Light on May 12th to raise funds and awareness for Pieta House. You’ll find more information online here, or follow the conversation on social media using #DIL2018.
If you need to talk, contact for free:
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the biggest obstacle is religion
The biggest problem is lack of education. I have lived in the AIDS capital of the world and religion was not the barrier there
religion is a barrier to education
Religion has nothing to do with this.
It’s lack of education and knowledge. Full stop.
I agree education is key, education in safe sex and removal of tribal cultures surrounding ‘cures’ for HIV, and especially key is the education of women – as they tend to be more likely to pass onto children, where culture and tradition have not yet become indoctrinated.
However, Africa has a boom in Catholicism: http://www.africamasterweb.com/AdSense/AfricaAndCatholicism.html
And the official Vatican stance and that of catholic relief and aid workers is that condoms are not to be condoned or distributed: http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/health/jan-june11/vatican_05-30.html
This is despite condoms and testing being key to the decrease in HIV infections in the Western World.
Have you checked the numbers between countries with many Catholics and those with the highest AIDS rates? They might not match as closely as you believe.
Most of Southern Africa, which is where you will find those countries with the highest rates of AIDS are actually predominantly protestant:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HIV/AIDS_in_Africa#Southern_Africa
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_Church_by_country#Africa
Just to point out that I am actually an agnostic and so not a Church supporter but there’s no point blaming them for something that is not entirely their fault
Without getting into lies, damn lies, and statistics I would wonder how much of those protestants in Southern Africa are from an ex-pat background and therefore less likely to be an victim of HIV?
Like I say, I’m not discounting what you’re saying – I’d just like to see relief organisations (of which many are Catholic) move towards teaching and promoting safer sex, rather than unrealistic abstinence.
Most of the Africans in Southern Africa are protestant.
Most African catholics were converted by Catholic Missions who generally stayed around mid-Africa whereas the protestants (English, Dutch, etc.) settled and converted in Southern Africa.
I’ve grown up there. I know the statistics
I would like to say that I too, would like to see a realistic approach to teaching safe sex and use of condoms as opposed to using the ridiculous notions that Africans will follow the idea of abstinence
Siomha,
I remember Bishop Desmond Tutu addressing a WHO conference and declaring that the attitude of Catholic missionary and aid groups to condom use had exasperated the spread of the disease in Africa.
Religion is only a small part of it – need to look at the bigger picture!
I’ve been living with HIV for seven years. If it wasn’t for the antiretroviral drugs I’d be dead. Huge advances in the treatment and decreases in the stigma attached to the virus have been achieved, but there’s still a long way to go. The virus is seen as a manageable disease and therefore not the threat is once was. This is folly. I wish the only impact on my life was the taking of a tablet each evening. Little is known about the long-term effects of these drugs; nor about the very real risk of dementia, cancers, pneumonia, skin conditions and the host of opportunistic infections being infected leaves you prone to. Education is everything.
Why does Concern’s Senior HIV Adviser never mention the use of CONDOMS to fight Aids in developing countries? NOT MENTIONED ONCE.
I find that surprising as well. Condoms are the main way to prevent the spread of AIDS and nearly all anti-AIDS campaigns use those as their main platforms.
Maybe it is more than just the use of condoms that is important?
Si it is more but they are the best way to prevent AIDS spreading. Every campaign should highlight that
Could have sworn I heard the news on the radio say infection in young people here had risen sharply
The article doesn’t break down the infection rates by demographics so you could be right. The overall trend seems to be going the right way.
You did hear that. Young men 24 to 39 at highest risk, I think. Ignorance is on the rise because the heyday of AIDS campaigning was 20 years ago when they were little kids.
Hmmm.. There were people in Swaziland eating faecal matter not so long ago because they couldn’t take their AIDS meds on an empty stomach (talk about skewed priorities – drugs are more important than FOOD now?)
This article also points out that in the place where new infections are rampant nutrition and sanitation leave a lot to be desired..
Wonder how many people in the 3rd world get “diagnosed” with AIDS when malnutrition and poor sanitation is the true reason their immune systems don’t work? Bearing in mind that the “tests” (ELISA and western blot) specifically state that they are unsuitable for determining the presence of HIV, a virus that has not been isolated. Rather these tests measure viral load and antibody response (and can test positive if you have the flu, are pregnant, or have just had a vaccine – hence the two tests taken several weeks apart).. There are people starving, they are obviously not adequately nourished, and instead of making sure that they can eat – drugs take priority (and companies like concern just keep pushing that appalling quality soy based muck and drugs approach rather than building self sustainability and organic farming)
I do not wish to detract from the seriousness of the problem, but something here reeks of fish..
have your say