Sign in. It’s quick, free and it’s up to you.
An account is an optional way to support the work we do. Find out more.
KATE DIED ON the afternoon of the 23 January.
She was born on the 24 January.
Kate is my daughter.
Kate was born still.
Stillborn.
Kate died kicking and screaming, fighting to live in my womb.
When you imagine birth, you imagine life.
The silence of her birth is still ringing in my ears. It is the loudest heartbreak.
The death of a baby before birth is a silent grief.
People can’t mention your bump and the baby that’s gone.
A headstone is the only place on earth (apart from our hearts) where her name is etched.
I grieve daily for the life that never grew up in this world.
I feel her body, I touch her face, I smell her but she is not here.
I recall her fingers, her torso, her long feet.
I held her lifeless body and dreamt of the life she would not have.
I never dreamt of a life without her.
I watch as others born at that time celebrate birthdays, communions, secondary school, first kisses.
My heart lurches for my child who does not get to do the same.
Hollow arms, aching heart.
Babies are meant to be born. Babies are not meant to be dead.
Sadly, thousands of people bury ‘stillborn’ babies every year. Perfectly formed, full term babies that are ‘stillborn’.
Our hearts as parents are not always still. We grieve the life we would have shared with our baby.
“What did you have?” they ask. “I had a girl,” I say.
“What did you call her?”…. “Kate,” I say.
“Is she sleeping well?” they ask. ”Like an angel,” I say.
“How many kids do you have?’ they ask.
That’s the hard one. I have three: one in heaven and two here.
The silence is deafening.
Written by Triona Mc Conkey (McHale)
Mother to Kate, 24/1/2002
Paddy 29/1/2005
Billy 5/7/2006
Triona sent TheJournal.ie this piece after reading Orla Ryan’s personal story ‘Then everyone died’: I lost four people I loved in 14 months. If there is an experience you’d like to share, please mail sinead@thejournal.ie
And those less well off are less likely to vote. But when mobilised. can turn an election. That’s what we are seeing. And why do the less well off react to issues like immigration in such force? Because low paid workers are the ones who have to compete with immigrants, many of who will work for far less wages, and therefore they drive the supply of jobs and wages for those jobs downwards. Can you blame them for opposing immigration?
“It’s the economy stupid”
Mr that is so true. All politicians use the poor vote to get elected. and then turn their back on them. It’s happened forever and will continue for ever.
@Patrick Gough: Total and simple manipulation, Brexit and Trump used it to good effect, and Clinton lost as she didn’t address them in the first place.
@Mr Snuffleupagus: And ‘Don the Con’ is the very man to sort that out for those poor devils,that is of course, after he gets another few foreign workers to work in his vineyard for $10 an hour..Oh,and those pesky foreign workers will have to pay for a place to stay,too..Yikes! By the way…did the lads that flew into the twin towers come into the USA through that foreign visa that the Don is using ? Hmmmmm
Funny that no too many Americans seem to be that interested in flipping burgers,picking up laundry, dishwasher or picking strawberries or what industry are you exactly referring too where they have to compete
@Red Marauder: Any industry you choose.Large scale Immigration into Ireland is a very new phenomenon. Prior to that. there were plenty of people here willing to work in McDonalds, do laundry and pick strawberries. You have essentially made my point. It’s now been outsourced to immigrants as they’ll do it for half nothing.
I disagree, there is of course the minimum wage each worker is entitled too, not half, look at the Netherlands for example, which has on of the lowest employment rates of the European, yet nr1 issue is migration and right wing party is doing well in the polls, there are other things at play there, most migration is from EU citizens coming to Ireland, not from middle east or south America
@Mr Snuffleupagus: And look which parties let in the most migrants, doesn’t seem to reflect on them winning elections based on media spin and lies. The UK electorate have continued to be duped by the tories since 2010, when will they wake up and realise this.
We can’t have a functioning democracy when one man practically controls the entire media and uses the courts to stamp out any dissenting opinions.
Well you can see from the spending the main parties here in Ireland engage in during elections that it’s all about money.
@Kerry Blake: having significant media interests and resulting opinion influence also helps.
I think they are still failing to see the worldwide shift, recessions have come before and people swung left or right. This time it’s more than that because people recognise that their is a general failure to deliver from established parties, the don’t trust any of them to raise standards or work in their interest, hence the protest vote, which could be in any direction so long as it gives the fingers.
Put very simply in Irish terms, if you are comfortably off, have a good life style, good housing and access to education and health for your children, there will be a tendency to have a smug and complacent satisfaction with FF and FG. These parties look after the haves and ensure the protection and advancement of privilege.
If life is difficult and austerity has bitten more severely in its impact on you, your family and your community, then you will be less likely to be so wholehearted in your support of FF and FG.
There are exceptions. For example, austerity, insecurity and harsh times will move some of the victims of austerity and socially discriminatory policies to the hard right, blaming immigration, for example, as the threat to their continuing survival.
@Micheal OLainn: To be honest Michael, if you feel like that why bother voting at all because things will never change to suit the majority of people in this country. Having a paid job is your sense of worth to society and doing something to help your community should be enough to satisfy most people.
For many of us iIt isn’t a fight against the system it is to try and improve our self worth in a selfish society. If you aspire to a certsin lifestyle then for most of us it is to work for it.
Hard to argue with the findings.
The problem of course for Democrats is that they eventually ran out of other people’s money to spend.
Hence their darling Hillary being banished to the political wilderness.
Which I’m quite OK with to be honest.
@Alex Falcone: Who’s money is Trump spending to “keep” those jobs in Carrier ? Do tell.
The vote of a wealthy person carries more influence than the vote of a poor person.
Governments respond to the lobbying and influence of the wealthy, not of the poor.
The wealthy use money, the media and other methods of control and influence over public opinion to put into power the Government they know will be most protective of their wealth and privileged.
Does anyone seriously think that, as a citizen, they have as an individual even a tiny fraction of the influence and direction of Denis O’Brien?
One of the things about living in a democracy is that the vote of a poor person is worth the exact same as the vote of a wealthy person.
There’s no doubt that wealth buys influence and smooths the road towards standing for election, but that’s a different issue.
@Avina Laaf: but you overlook the why of voting and who is voted for. Each bpvotr counts equally but what influences the what and the why of voting for particulate candidates and the vested interests that they represent cannot be ignored.
The second dimension is that par works well when there is real politucal chiice but poorly when the range of views expressed by candidates is limited.
It is important to look under the surface and not to be beguiled by simplistic understandings.
@Micheal OLainn: Well if you buy newspapers owed by Denis O’Brien or Rupert Murdock you get what you pay for…..pure rubbish and propaganda, so stop buying them.
It’s not just income inequality. It’s also that a large portion of the country felt POLITICALLY and/or CULTURALLY unequal… Suffocating and being overpowered by the leftist establishment government, bullsh*t MSM, narcissistic moralising academia and SJWs, and perceived existential threats such as globalised capitalism, Jihadism, multi-culturalism and so on.
People wanted a major shift culturally. Trump was seen as a “change candidate” in more ways than economic.
@George Brown: you got it in one! Just add 2nd and 3rd wave feminism to the list.
Shame how tarnished feminism’s name has become since BuzzFeed and the like tried to associate themselves with it
Paul lad, tell your (bah humbug) boss to go stuff a Christmas pudding in their Gob and then go home to your family. Whatever news there is today can be read tomorrow. Have a Happy Chrimbo !!
@Graham McKibbin: He probably is at home. The vast majority of today’s article so far are not time relevant. They are written a few days ago most likely. This is normal at Xmas in media too. Skelton staff, prewritten articles.
This is a typical tabloid statement from a sheep that follows what the political consensus say to justify their battered egos after having the muck beaten out of than by an electorate that are just fed up of corrupt imbeciles at the helm of the titanic who’s manifest is only to find icebergs instead of finding a destination where everyone wants to go.
All politics is local .. and there’s nothing more local than people’s wallets.
To win voter support taxes must comply with principles of taxation (in a word fairness):-
- No 2-Tier Taxes .. LPT (owners taxed but not state housed), Car Tax (pre 2008 v post 2008), Water (Urban v rural)
- No Regressive Taxes .. LPT, Car Tax, Water, VAT on first time buyers .. fails to allow for inability to pay.
- No Taxes on “Life Essentials” , Food (incl water), air, shelter, clothing, sanitation, health, personal transport, ed …
- Comply with Canons of Taxation .. must allow for inability to pay..
Else we are all moving quickly to political and social unrest .. more Brexits, Trumps, Le Pens …
@Neuville-Kepler62F: Thats an interesting observation, but we should also realise in Ireland that services need to be paid for especialy when workers are relying of their income.
Talking to an elderly friend this week living alone in the UK and paying £1,100 per year council tax. I think that there would be riots in the streets of Ireland if the government here imposed council tax.
@Chris Kirk: Nail on the head why Brexit happened …. UK political class utterly vindictive, even imposed a bedroom tax (spare) on family homes. No pensioner (or family) should be taxed on their Family Home. It is a Life essential (shelter).
Progressive, appropriate, moderate and fair taxes are acceptable to fund public services.
Taxes which fail the 4 Frameworks of Good Taxation Policy should be abolished. Broadening the tax base is not acceptable when they fail basic canons of taxation rules .. such as “ability to pay”!
Italy abolished its hated LPT on family homes in Dec 2015.
Sweden abolished its hated inheritance tax . TD knocks on the door on the death of a relative demanding tax.
France abolished its annual Motor tax in 2001. Personal transport (car) is a basic need in modern world.
Economic inequality is not noticed by the elite because 99% of the increases in income go to them. And then they are shocked when we dont vote as they command.
“…..driven largely by the very rich getting richer…”
As to why this is the case would be too much for our shallow pencil-pushers who like to refer to themselves as ‘journalists’.
And what
have your say