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To my attacker: 'I want you to see I'm not defeated'

There are calls for victims to be able to meet offenders in the aftermath of sexual crimes.

Updated at 9am

VICTIMS OF SEXUAL violence should have the option to face their attackers through restorative justice, an international conference in Dublin will hear later this week.

In a keynote address at the National Organisation for the Treatment of Abusers (NOTA) conference on Friday, UCD academic Dr Marie Keenan will call for victims to be able to meet offenders in the aftermath of sexual crime.

Restorative justice, which gives victims the chance to explain the impact a crime has had on them, plays a limited role in the criminal justice system at present, generally catering only to victims of minor crimes.

But its focus on the needs of victims has the potential to repair the harm caused by sexual crime, according to Keenan, who has worked for over 20 years with victims and perpetrators of sexual crime.

In an interview with TheJournal.ie, Keenan said victims of sexual violence are often alienated by Ireland’s adversarial criminal justice system, which makes no distinction between legal guilt and offenders’ sense of responsibility.

Restorative justice meetings, by contrast, allow victims to confront and ask questions of their attackers, she said.

Some victims want to make a statement to the offender, so they’ll say, ‘I want you to understand the impact this has had on me.’ Others will say, ‘I want you to see I’m not defeated.’
Some want to ask questions like, ‘Why me?’ or ‘Why did you do it?’

“For victims,” Keenan said, “laying eyes on [their attackers] can help them change the memory card.”

By meeting the person at whose hands they suffered, victims are able to replace the memory of their attack with a different experience, she said.

assisted-suicide-case-ireland-2-752x501 The Criminal Courts of Justice in Dublin Julien Behal / PA Wire Julien Behal / PA Wire / PA Wire

Taking responsibility

The process also offers offenders an opportunity to take responsibility for their crimes.

People who have been convicted may have pleaded guilty or owned up to their actions, but you can be sure that their legal teams will have worked very hard to make sure as little information as possible gets out during their trials.

Restorative justice, instead, is about an honest dialogue, an open exchange of feelings, Keenan said.

The process, she said, should ideally act as an additional justice mechanism, not instead of criminal justice.

For the 95% of victims who get no justice through the criminal system, however, it could provide an opportunity to address their attackers in a way the current courts system does not allow, Keenan added.

When someone’s crimes can’t be proven in court, lawyers will very often advise them to stay well away from restorative justice processes.
What they forget is that offenders know what they’ve done and, if they’re offered an opportunity to repair the harm they’ve done, I believe many of them would want to take part.

Read: No jail for man who raped his girlfriend up to 10 times while she slept

Column: You shouldn’t be afraid to speak out after being sexually assaulted. I know, because I did 

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14 Comments
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    Mute Annette
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    Jun 27th 2019, 10:03 PM

    Scary stuff to think we’re in 2019 and this stuff is probably rife!! Good job Italian Police

    423
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    Mute Will Thompson
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    Jun 27th 2019, 11:27 PM

    @Annette: Yeah had to stop reading, some sick ppl ou there!!!!

    90
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    Mute FrustratedASDMum
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    Jun 27th 2019, 10:40 PM

    What did I just read?? What kind of person does something like that? Sometimes I really lose hope in humanity. The pain and anguish those children and parents must have suffered is unthinkable.

    324
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    Mute Marianne
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    Jun 27th 2019, 11:49 PM

    Jesus. Just when I thought it could not get worse..those poor children and god love their parents..well done to the ITALIAN POLICE..I wish the family’s well

    123
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    Mute Pascal Coleman
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    Jun 27th 2019, 10:10 PM

    Evil bustards. Hope all found guilty hey the severe punishment they deserve for running so many lives.

    195
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    Mute Devilsavocado
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    Jun 27th 2019, 10:34 PM

    I read that in total disbelief, how the hell do these sick ba$tard$ sleep at night, they couldn’t have a shred of moral decency in their entire body’s, another case of just lock them up and throw away the key.

    204
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    Mute Anna Kavanagh
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    Jun 27th 2019, 11:42 PM

    It’s happening in Ireland too but it is being brushed under the carpet

    60
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    Mute Bee Johnson
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    Jun 28th 2019, 12:18 AM

    @Anna Kavanagh: source for that claim please

    79
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    Mute Chin Feeyin
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    Jun 28th 2019, 3:49 AM

    @Anna Kavanagh: without evidence, your claim has no credence.

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    Mute Anne Crowe Fortune
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    Jun 28th 2019, 9:20 AM

    @Anna Kavanagh: OMG. Then will someone who knows PLEASE PLEASE don’t be afraid to come forward.

    7
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    Mute Anne Crowe Fortune
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    Jun 28th 2019, 9:20 AM

    @Anna Kavanagh: OMG. Then will someone who knows PLEASE don’t be afraid to come forward.

    1
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    Mute Joe Burns
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    Jun 28th 2019, 9:38 AM

    @Bee Johnson: if @Anna gave you the source she would be jailed under the In Camera Rule.

    Did you know that in Ireland that if you report the rape of a child to Gardai you could be jailed?

    9
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    Mute K
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    Jun 28th 2019, 1:35 PM

    @Joe Burns: wha?

    3
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    Mute Bee Johnson
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    Jun 29th 2019, 4:44 PM

    @Joe Burns: That’s utter nonsense, the in camera rule protects the identity of the child. It does not prevent anybody from reporting a crime. Social Workers have endless files of children that have been abused and raped and work closely with the Gardai to interview these children it a protected environment and I can assure you part of that process is not to arrest the person who reported the crime.

    1
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    Mute Ger
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    Jun 27th 2019, 11:48 PM

    Jesus Christ! Thats like an episode of Law And Order SVU. You wouldnt think that something like that could be happening in a western country in 2019. If found guilty I hope they never see the outside of a cell again.

    60
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    Mute Cathy Carroll
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    Jun 27th 2019, 10:09 PM

    Disgusting

    116
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    Mute Cat K.
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    Jun 28th 2019, 1:27 AM

    @Cathy Carroll: well one of yas did it

    9
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    Mute @at
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    Jun 28th 2019, 12:16 AM

    That is horrific. It is so sad the depths of depravity some people will stoop too for money

    41
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    Mute Seán Dillon
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    Jun 27th 2019, 10:59 PM

    This world is over run with degenerate lowlifes, the future is bleak.

    68
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    Mute Brian Flavin
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    Jun 28th 2019, 12:00 AM

    Sicko & poor child and well Done To Italian Police

    30
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    Mute Shane Dignam
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    Jun 28th 2019, 12:31 AM

    Just the beginning by all accounts.

    17
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    Mute Stephen Coveney
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    Jun 28th 2019, 1:25 AM

    @Shane Dignam: yes, fake accounts notably yours.

    4
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    Mute Cat K.
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    Jun 28th 2019, 1:29 AM

    No punishment would be great enough for these ‘people’.

    18
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    Mute Kevin McCarthy
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    Jun 27th 2019, 11:20 PM

    Sick and evil people.

    44
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    Mute Bee Johnson
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    Jun 28th 2019, 12:21 AM

    That is seriously messed up but I’m confused to the lengths they went to. surely there are plenty of children already in the care system that they could of “sold” if money was their primary goal?

    12
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    Mute ÓDuibhír Abú
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    Jun 28th 2019, 7:28 AM

    @Bee Johnson: Our ‘Religious ‘ people done it.!! Sold our children to the highest bidder,.

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    Mute Bee Johnson
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    Jun 28th 2019, 9:19 AM

    @ÓDuibhír Abú: oh I get that but assuming they were doing this to sell off “healthy” children, but now they are selling damaged children anyway so what was the point. We pay foster families here and we still can’t find enough families

    2
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    Mute Brendan Boyle
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    Jun 28th 2019, 9:22 AM

    I can’t believe we’re seeing this kind of abuse from actual officials in any European country.
    I know we were worse at one stage but that was when the church ran the show. This is Bananas

    9
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    Mute Mark Lamb
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    Jun 28th 2019, 1:38 PM

    Tusla Social Workers are Coaching Children Telling them the have being Abused Tusla also are Inflating Falsifying Tusla Files of Abuse to take Children into Care …. Maurice McCabe is the Tip of the Ice Berg…..What Happened in Italy is also happening in Corrupt Ireland …..

    9
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    Mute Mark Lamb
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    Jun 28th 2019, 1:39 PM

    @Mark Lamb:

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    Mute Artugal
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    Jun 28th 2019, 11:07 AM

    Nothing new sadly, human trafficking the only true remnants of the Roman Empire. Really hope these guys, and their customers, see nothing but cells for the rest of their days. Well done Italian police/whistleblowers!

    5
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