IF SOMEONE’S EVER told you they don’t use Tinder because it’s too superficial, ask them how they decide to flirt with someone at a bar.
Whether you’re doing it on a smartphone screen or in real life, the strategy is strikingly similar: You check the person out — what they’re doing, what they’re wearing, and who they’re with.
But there’s a lot more science bound up in that momentary glance than you might think. There are a few main things we look for when we’re sizing up a potential date. And you can take advantage of them with these tips.
How you look matters more than what you write. Research suggests we can determine more about someone’s personality based on their appearance than on their answers to a set of predetermined questions, like those used by some online dating sites.
Plus, those answers might lead us astray — in experiments with people who said they valued specific characteristics in a potential mate, none of them proved important once it came down to meeting that person in real life.
Whether we’re looking at a picture or chatting with someone at a speed date, there’s one trait most people can identify pretty easily and accurately: extroversion.
If you’re standing “energetically” in a photo, for example, meaning you’re not slouching and your feet are pointed towards the camera, viewers are more likely to pick up on your outgoing personality. Looking neat and composed (which viewers perceive as meaning you’re stylish and healthy) can earn you extroversion points too.
It might seem obvious, but plenty of Tinder users forget the most important aspect of an attractive photo: your smile.
People tend to associate people who are smiling with being more outgoing, while they tend to link frowning or straight-faced people with introversion.
Tinder’s own researchers say a more obvious indicator of an outgoing personality is whether you’re alone or with others in your photos.
While most people say you should be alone in your main profile photo (no one wants to guess who you are in the three seconds they’ll probably spend looking at your photo), your other images might include friends or family.
If you’re alone in all of them, you might send a message that you prefer to spend your time solo. If you’re surrounded by friends, on the other hand, you signal to viewers that you’ve got an outgoing personality.
In experiments with people who looked at pictures of strangers and determined how confident they were, observers were more likely to rank those standing with their arms behind their backs as confident.
Conversely, viewers were more likely to say people standing with their arms hanging by their sides or crossed at their chest had lower self-esteem
In experiments with straight women in which researchers asked them if they were more interested in a long-term relationship or a one-night stand, women who just wanted sex preferred the men with more masculine faces — chiseled cheekbones, a stronger jawline, and more facial hair, for example. Those who were looking for a lifetime partner, on the other hand, tended to prefer men with softer features.
The same study that found that straight women who just wanted sex preferred the men with more masculine faces found that straight men typically prefer women with features researchers identify as being more feminine — bigger eyes and fuller lips but a narrower chin and a less angular jaw. That finding held steady regardless of the kind of relationship the men were looking for.
Research shows that Tinder users log into the app an average of 11 times a day! Plus, they spend between seven and nine minutes swiping left and right (either saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to a potential match) during a single session.
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