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There are triggering moments like the Karen Buckley case. It’s always going to be there I suppose.
Tom Meagher, husband of the late Jill Meagher, who was murdered in Melbourne in September 2012, said the family of Karen Buckley have a long road ahead.
Speaking to TheJournal.ie, Meagher said, “I was utterly heartbroken. I followed the case from the start.
I remember waking up the morning that I found out what happened and it was just so heartbreaking. I cried for hours.
“I just send them my absolute sincere love and support. It’s a very similar case to Jill in a way but it’s also very different in how individuals deal with this.
“The only thing I can say to them is take love where you can find it and take comfort in your family and friends. They have a very hard road ahead as I know.”
‘I paid for her, I can do what I want with her.’
Meagher was speaking at the launch of a campaign ‘Prostitution – We Don’t Buy it’, organised by The Reach Project. Discussing the men who purchase sex and the lies they tell themselves, Meagher said:
Two years ago I read this document from an interview with a man who had repeatedly and very violently raped a number of prostitutes in Australia. His answer to the question, ‘Why did you do this?’ was ‘I paid for her, I can do what I want with her.’Ten years later that man was out on parole and raped and murdered my wife.
Meagher told TheJournal.ie that he still thinks about Adrian Bayley.
“When I think about him I’m very angry but I don’t think about him as much. It’s not something that’s as prevalent in my mind as it was.
When I think about him my blood does boil but it’s not ever-present.
A Red C poll released today revealed that almost one in ten Irish men have paid for sex.
Meagher said, “The transfer of money does not turn a no into a yes.” He read out posts on a website men who rape women they’ve paid for go to:
“She didn’t even speak English. Not what I was looking for and I’m the one paying for this.
“I’m paying her €2.50 a minute and I can’t even fuck her in the position I want, this is not fair.”
Meagher added that, “Many of us believe that prostitution prevents rape” he said this was illustrated in a London study in which one man said:
“Sometimes you might rape someone but you can go get a prostitute instead.”
He said this feeds into the lie that ‘male sexuality is this uncontrolled force of nature- so therefore needs a constant supply of women to satisfy that man’.
That also feeds into the lie that men can’t help themselves. It’s a handy excuse for rapists and violent men.
“It’s a lie that dis-empowers both men and women. We need to end the lie that this is about sexual freedom or liberation. It’s not liberation, it’s exploitation.”
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