JUST WHEN YOU think you’ve got this whole parenting thing figured out, something comes along that totally throws you for a loop.
Each week in our new series, Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who can’t figure out if they’re on the right track, or if they’ve gotten something 100% wrong. To get a balanced view of the situation, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers.
My five-year-old son’s class was visiting a farm last week on their first school tour and we were told the kids would need wellies. In the shop he immediately jumped on a bright pink pair and wouldn’t look at any others. I was secretly delighted, but I was so worried about him being teased that I told him they were the wrong size and brought him to another shop. Am I being unreasonable?
Yes, you’re being unreasonable. Age five, kids are unlikely to tease each other about things like that. It is more likely that this is upsetting your idea of what your son should be wearing.
No, you’re not being unreasonable. I can see that you were trying to protect your child against being teased which is a natural reaction. But I’d like to think I would have let my child have the wellies.
Yes, you’re being unreasonable, even if you had his best interests at heart. You’re pre-empting a situation that might never happen and let that slight risk override your child’s joy. Get the wellies and if your worst-case scenario unfolds, take it as an opportunity to have a conversation with your child about teasing, why others do it and how to respond to it.
Yes, you’re definitely being unreasonable. You went against your gut instinct. It’s just a colour and there’s nothing wrong with boys wearing pink. Go back to the shop and buy the wellies your kid really wanted and stop caring what other people might think about your child.
I don’t think you were being unreasonable, but you could have looked at it another way. Really, if your kid liked them that should be your sole concern. Also it’s sort of micro-parenting to not buy them. There are enough things to worry about without getting het up over the colour of footwear
I don’t know if you were being unreasonable. I recognise that buying the pink wellies is the right thing to do, and I’d like to think I’d have bought them if it was my child, but I wouldn’t be totally confident in saying that. I think I might have visions of my child being tormented and decide in terror that red wellies were a safer choice.
So what’s the final tally? Was our reader in the wrong?
Yes: 3
Maybe: 1
No: 2
Do you have a parenting issue you need advice on? Do you find yourself asking if you’re being unreasonable? Drop us a line with your reader dilemma on family@thejournal.ie.
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