EVERY DAY BARNARDOS staff see the impact and effects of poverty, neglect, disadvantage and violence on children. And every day they work with vulnerable children to help change their lives for the better, to give them a brighter future and help them to reach their potential. Because childhood lasts a lifetime.
Ahead of Barnardos Giving Day on Sept 20th, Patricia, a Project Worker working in a Barnardos’ Family Support Service shares a family’s story and asks for your help:
There are times when I meet a family who are struggling so badly – due to no fault of their own – that it almost brings me to tears. I wanted to share with you one of those families and one child in particular.
I’d like to tell you about Connor and his family. There are five of them – Connor’s mam, Marie, his dad, Paul, and his two siblings: Kian, who’s two, and Molly, who’s six.
Connor is a quiet boy. He doesn’t make a fuss. It took an eagle-eyed teacher at school to spot that he was withdrawn and seemed anxious. When she asked him if everything was okay at home, Connor simply said, “It’s cold at home. There’s nothing to eat.”
Concerned for his well-being, the Home Liaison Officer at the school called us at Barnardos and that is when I got to meet the family for the first time.
Connor’s parents were struggling to make their limited budget stretch. Paul has a job earning minimum wage but that has to go a long way. All the time we see families who struggle to afford even basic essentials – things that so many of us take for granted.
Like so many other families in similar situations, Connor’s mam was borrowing money towards the end of every month just to put food on the table – but this was sadly sending them deeper and deeper into debt. Mam and Dad would often go without meals so that the children could eat. During the winter months, Marie often has to choose between heating the house and buying food for the children. And this family had other demands on their limited resources, forcing them to make sacrifices to meet.
Molly, Connor’s sister, has an ongoing medical condition. She has frequent visits to the hospital and as Mam and Dad don’t have a car, that means they have to book a taxi that will take a wheelchair. To meet those costs, something else has to be sacrificed. Marie once told me that she and Paul sometimes don’t eat at mealtimes at all – so that the children can have a little more. But there are times when even that sacrifice isn’t enough – and the whole family goes hungry.
It was clear that they urgently needed help. The first thing we did was provide the family with a box of non-perishable food –and fresh fruit and vegetables. That at least meant they could all eat. And we made sure that all three children had a warm coat and jumper and we gave them extra blankets for the cold nights.
Marie and I sat down and talked about all the pressures and challenges she was facing on a monthly basis. It’s not easy to admit that you need help – I couldn’t but admire her courage and love for her family. Then we made a wide-ranging plan to help build the family’s capacity to function and cope with life’s challenges.
I’ve also been spending time with Connor. He needed somebody to talk to, somebody who would listen and be there for him. My role now is to offer him the emotional and practical support that he needs to be able to develop and sustain positive friendships and reach his potential. No two family support services are the same because no two families or communities are the same. All our other family support team members, work with each family to offer them the specific help that they need, as and when they need it.
That help might include the emergency provision of food and essentials such as warm clothing and blankets. More usually, we’ll work with parents, within the family home, to provide support on issues such as budgeting and improving the living environment. We’ll also help liaise with other services, such as housing or healthcare providers.
It’s hard to think that families struggle in this way in 2024, but we know they do. We’re seeing it every day.
Children only get one chance at childhood. At Barnardos we say that Childhood Lasts A Lifetime. That is why we work every day to give the children who come through our doors every possible chance to grow up to be happy and fulfilled adults.
Barnardos will continue to be there for these children and families and we are asking you to be there too. The money we raise for Barnardos Giving Day will help us to change a child’s story, like Connor’s, from one of despair to one of optimism and hope. Because childhood lasts a lifetime.
Thank you,
Patricia.
Barnardos Giving Day, kindly supported by Dell Technologies, takes place on Friday, 20th September. Please donate what you can at www.barnardosgivingday.ie to help ensure that Barnardos can be there for children when they need us most. Because childhood lasts a lifetime.
*Images used to represent children are actors
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