THE WET SHEETS, the change of pyjamas, the spare pants in the preschool bag… Bedwetting is a problem that most families will face during the early years of childhood, and in general it’s nothing to be concerned about.
As with most parents though, I have wondered once or twice if I should have been doing something more – or something different – to combat the problem. To put my worries at bay, I spoke to Peadar Maxwell, a senior child psychologist with HSE Wexford.
The first port of call for parents, says Maxwell, is to identify whether the bedwetting is within normal developmental limits or not. “Most specialists agree that up to age seven, bedwetting is not problematic unless it includes daytime wetting,” he explains.
Avoiding accidents
So what’s “normal” in terms of those wet sheets, then? In most cases, explains Maxwell, by the age of two or three, children will be mainly dry at night but with the odd accident.
If you find your child is wetting the bed more often or at a later age than that, take a look at the most likely causes first – most of which are no-brainers.
“Drinking too much too close to bedtime can encourage bedwetting,” says Maxwell. “Some studies have linked it to caffeinated or fizzy drinks in particular, as well as chocolate and food dyes.”
What should I be doing?
If your child is a deep sleeper, they may not wake up in time to know or feel that they need to use the loo, so be sensible about the drinks you give them in the hours before bedtime:
You don’t need to deny a thirsty child a drink at night, but instead aim to avoid caffeine, fizzy drinks or large volumes of liquid right before bed.
The key to dry nights can often be found by observing your child’s habits during the day, making sure that they are emptying their bladder when they use the bathroom and that they are not constipated.
Underlying worries
Anxiety is another common underlying issue with children who are chronic bedwetters, so parents should be aware of any external stressors – no matter how trivial they may seem to you as an adult, says Maxwell.
Perhaps your child is worrying about school, facing friendship problems, or experiencing fears about scary creatures or nightmares.
If you sense there’s an emotional cause at the root of the bedwetting, aim to talk openly with your child about what they might be going through.
“Acknowledging your child’s worries and helping them to problem solve are great anti-anxiety measures that can help children feel more in control of their world and thus less anxious,” Maxwell adds.
Remember: it’s not your child’s fault
As with most developmental milestones and stumbling blocks, empathy is key when reacting to persistent bedwetting, Maxwell advises.
Yes, bedwetting is troublesome and messy, but as a parent you should entirely avoid getting angry with their child. They cannot prevent this from happening, and shaming or demeaning them will make the problem worse.
Most children will grow out of bedwetting, Maxwell emphasises, but if you feel that something is not right, speak to your doctor or local public health nurse. They’ll be well placed to help you find the root cause and rule out any potential medical issues.
Whatever approach you take, don’t waste your time comparing your child to other kids out there.
“Every child is different,” says Maxwell. “Their bedwetting may just part of their genetic makeup rather than a serious problem.”
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