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In which Ronan Keating assumes his best “Oirish” accent and ill-advisedly covers one of the most beloved Christmas songs of all time.
A travesty and an abomination.
Moving on.
31. Bo Selecta – Proper CrimboCan Christmas songs be described as “scaldy”? Because that’s the only word we can think to describe this fairly sorry attempt at a “gas” Christmas tune.
30. Mr. Hankey – Mr. Hankey, The Christmas PooThe worst thing about Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo is that it’s actually extremely catchy. Unfortunately, it’s literally a Christmas song about the texture of shite, so you can’t listen to it if you’re above the age of 10.
29. Cliff Richard – Mistletoe And WineYou know when your religion teacher tries to jazz up a hymn to make it sound fun/catchy, but it still just sounds like a hymn? That’s what Mistletoe and Wine is like.
28. Mud – Lonely This Christmas A song that has the potential to make you weep into a glass of Baileys if you’re any way tired and emotional. Not exactly cheery stuff.
27. Dustin The Turkey – Christmas Tree“I wonder how, I wonder why, Santa and the reindeer are able to fly”. We’re not gonna lie — there’s something very cheery/endearing about Dustin’s off-key singing, but it’s just not *quite* up there with the rest.
26. Various – Baby, It’s Cold OutsideOnce upon a time, this was a classic, but its legacy has since been tarnished by the realisation that it’s actually very creepy. (“Say, what’s in this drink?” Yikes.)
It’s frankly astonishing that Bruce Springsteen ever got away with this song because he sounds (a) constipated and (b) like your drunk uncle at a wedding.
23. Paul McCartney – Wonderful ChristmastimeBasically the musical equivalent of those people who are like, “I have all my shopping done!” on 5 December. Completely and utterly maddening.
21. Elvis Presley – Blue ChristmasA good slow Christmas song for when you’re feeling too full from eating too much turkey and Viennetta. “Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh…”
20. Aled Jones – Walking In The Air Banger. (Even if it always makes us freak out about not posting our Christmas cards in time.)
17. Chris Rea – Driving Home For ChristmasControversial opinion, but Driving Home For Christmas sounds like music you listen to while waiting to talk to a customer representative on the phone. #zing
16. Nat King Cole - Christmas SongDoes any other song better encapsulate the magic of Christmas and make you pine for a bit of snow? We think not.
10. Eartha Kitt/Madonna/Kylie Minogue – Santa Baby Sure, there’s something a bit disconcerting about a woman flirting with Santa Claus, but can you imagine going through the festive season without hearing Santa Baby?
8. Jona Lewie – Stop The CavalrySure, it might technically be a protest song, but few songs inspire as much fuzzy festive feelings as Stop The Cavalry. *parum-pum-pum-pum-pum-pum*
6. Wizzard – I Wish It Could Be Christmas EverydayOne of those songs that makes you forget about all the stress and hassle of Christmas shopping/cooking the turkey/spending prolonged periods of time with your extended family, and reminds you of just how wonderful Christmas really is.
3. Mariah Carey – All I Want For Christmas Is YouThe one Christmas song we all insist on belting out even if we don’t have a note in our head. “I-i-i-i-i don’t want a lot for Christmas…” Bow down, Mariah.
2. Wham! – Last ChristmasA perfect pop song in every way and one that makes us want to go on a ski holiday with friends to gossip about our ex. Love, love, love. (Shout out to George Michael’s incredible hair as well.)
If Ireland had an official Christmas anthem, this would be it. It’s bawdy, it plucks at your heartstrings and it’s basically made for singing in pubs — the kind of song you miss hearing when you’re away from home at Christmas.
“And the bells were ringing out for Christmas Day…”
The best.
<3
Written by Amy O’Connor and posted on DailyEdge.ie
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Read it. Loved it. Recommend you read it too. A sweet book about friendship that is just so well written by a new Irish voice in literature. Check out Mumblin Deaf Ro on Spotify too.
Currently listening to it on audible ( I always have 3 books, 1 actual, 1 kindle for bedtime and 1 audible for car and walking and working) and loving it. I feel I know those lads. I chose it without knowing the author was Irish so because the narrator is English I presumed it’s set there? Should I be reading it in a Dublin accent? Anyway, it’s brilliant and congrats to Ronan!
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