THE LOSS OF a child is absolutely devastating. It can bring with it a world of pain, despair and anger.
As part of our live Q&A with clinical psychologist Dr Eddie Murphy yesterday afternoon, a woman got in touch to ask for help. She lost two daughters – one in 2012 and the other just last year in July.
Her tragic loss has left her feeling depressed and suffering from anxiety.
“I’m not coping well at all,” she said. “I’m really struggling.”
Dr Murphy described hers as a “profound loss”, explaining that grief and bereavement is very different from depression and anxiety.
“The only way to get through grief is to go all the way into that pain and you can’t hide that pain and that’s a really hard thing to do and you have to be supported in doing that.”
I’ve two boys and I just couldn’t imagine my life without my own children so that’s what you’re experiencing and I think it’s about finding a compassionate voice for yourself.
He said there’s no pathway to follow where “suddenly everything will be alright”.
“Life isn’t like that, that’s such a profound loss and you have to find a way – how do I carry that loss with me without overwhelming my life?”
In situations like this, it is vital, he said, to acknowledge it when you are feeling overwhelmed. Accept that’s what you are feeling right now and try to build up the pieces that keep you going and help you cope.
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