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PREGNANCY: IT’S MENTAL. Just look at the difference between these pregnant women’s baby bumps, with just four weeks between them.
Australian fitness instructor Chontel Duncan posted this Instagram picture of herself and her friend Nat – both are pregnant, with Chontel five months along in this photo, and Natalie at six months.
Each woman carries differently and this most certainly doesn’t mean one is doing something wrong or not healthy etc. We both have healthy growing babies and we both have had incredibly pregnancies so far, feeling amazing and full of energy.
However Duncan has been facing some backlash on social media for continuing to work out while pregnant, something doctors say is mostly safe to do.
But she told TODAY that she wants to show a different example of a healthy pregnancy – and that pregnant women aren’t as ‘fragile’ as people think they are:
Once it became clear to me how foreign it was to see a pregnancy performed like mine, it did get me thinking. Maybe I should continue to document my pregnant because it seems that we are misled to believe that we are more fragile than we really are.
“We lose focus on one of the most important components of a healthy pregnancy, keeping ourselves physically and mentally strong.”
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I was born in August 1972 and placed by my birth mother in St. Patrick’s Mother and Baby Home two weeks after my birth.
Within a few months, I was adopted by a fantastic family. My adoptive mother often told me how they got me. She and my adoptive father were brought into a big room full of cots at St. Patricks’ and given the chance to walk around and take their pick from the babies in the room. Apparently, I smiled at my adoptive mother as she looked into my cot and that’s what led to them choosing me. I had a good upbringing and count myself as very lucky. All I was told about my birth parents was that my mother was from a farming background and liked music. I was told nothing about my birth father.
The stigma and shame of being an ‘illegitimate’ child have never left me. We adoptees were seen as the product of sin, tarnished children who were less than other ‘legitimate’ children. At school I was teased and bullied for being ‘illegitimate’ / adopted, by both the priests and other pupils – the priests at my school told other pupils that I was illegitimate (this came to light when I could not bring in my birth certificate, which the school needed for a reason which I can’t recall). I remember my adoptive mother talking about how a neighbour had told her she was amazed that she (my adoptive mother) could ‘take in’ a child who was born out of wedlock.
In 1990, aged about 18, I started the process of tracing my birth mother. This was a slow process, often interrupted by my being a teenager and trying to weigh up conflicting loyalties. I felt that searching for my birth mother was being disloyal to my adoptive parents. When the Eastern Health Board wrote to my home address while I was university (despite my begging them never to write to my home address), my adoptive mother opened the letter (a very typical Irish mammy!). I remember sitting on the stairs of my rented home as she cried down the phone to me, asking me what she had done wrong. I will never forget this and I will never forgive the EHB for it.
In time I slowly gathered more information about my history. A few years ago, I discovered that my adoption was illegal, that my birth parents were in fact married at the time I was given for adoption. I was told by the EHB that my birth mother (who I now know was not from a farming background and has no interest in music) signed an affidavit saying that she did not know who my father was, when in fact she was married to him. I don’t know what, if any, checks were done. I now know that the Eastern Health Board were aware for years that my adoption was illegal, but I was not told. This is unforgiveable. They chose to leave me to live with the stigma rather than tell me the truth. I cannot establish when the EHB became aware that the adoption was illegal (suspiciously, it is not recoded in my files) but the files show the EHB sought legal advice before telling me. Neither the EHB nor Tusla have answered my questions on when the EHB became aware that the adoption was illegal. Had I not submitted a Subject Access Request last year, I might never have known about this legal advice or the fact that the EHB were aware that the adoption was illegal long before I was told. I should also point out that when I was told about my adoption being illegal, I was asked there and then if I wanted to challenge the Adoption Order, but this was cushioned with ‘advice’ that my doing so would result in the EHB prosecuting my biological parents. I’ve dwelt on my illegal adoption for years; it has gnawed away at me and I remain of the belief that it was the result of church and state collusion. However, Tusla’s refusal to provide me with information means I cannot prove or dispel this belief.
My birth parents remain married today and now have a number of other children, my younger siblings, who have no idea I even exist. During one of my meetings with the EHB many years ago, I was told my surname (something they later denied they had given me but where else could I have got it from!) and in another meeting they told me the county my birth parents live in. In turn, I was able to find my 5+ birth-siblings on various social media sites and today I occasionally look at what they are up to, look at their weddings, births etc, all the family events I have missed. It’s hard to explain to people what it’s like to grow up never seeing anyone who looks like you, never to hear people comment on how much you look like someone in your family, and then suddenly find pictures of people who do look like you.
I met my birth father a number of years ago, my birth mother decided not to attend. He made it clear that any local community awareness of my existence would bring shame to his family (40+ years on!) and it was clear he had no interest in pursuing any kind of relationship because of this. I sent Christmas cards for a few years but they all were ignored. It felt like I had been rejected again.
Last year, I sent a request to Tulsa to try to find out more about how I came to be adopted when my birth parents were married. Tulsa sent me copies of my files, most of which were so heavily redacted they were of almost no use. Many of my questions to Tusla remain unanswered – despite the fact that they have the information. They have repeatedly ignored questions I have put to them about how a child of a married couple could have been placed for adoption. The recent Mother and Baby Homes report makes no reference to illegal adoptions where the birth parents were married, yet I have met another person whose story is similar to mine, whose adoption was illegal because her birth parents were married when she was born.
In a bid attempt to get to the truth, I am now considering challenging the validity of my adoption in the High Court – a big but necessary step so I can try to get to the truth and to remove the term ‘illegitimate’ from my records, and also to show that illegal adoptions did take place – there may be other people in Ireland who are unaware that their adoptions were illegal, simply because they are not allowed access to their files.
The report found no evidence of domestic illegal adoptions, even though the Adoption Board, EHB/HSE and TUSLA all know of my case.
The quality of output from our political, legal and civil service lead investigations is very very poor. We definitely don’t get value for the vast amount of money that is put forward for such investigations.
And the judge will say ‘no thank you’ and that’ll be the end of it because these committees are essentially toothless. Much like our tribunals of enquiry they are a waste of taxpayer money.
@David Lawlor: Toothless and a waste of taxpayer money they may be, but it’s worth remember back to a decade ago when the citizens of this country voted to have them remain toothless. The Oireachtas committee’s wanted the power to be more effective, but we told them to get stuffed. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirtieth_Amendment_of_the_Constitution_Bill_2011
@Dean: Dean, those churchs are not ; ‘Christian’. They may have some humanity, as a other humans. To find Christianity one would need to go to the source of it. It was founded by a carpenter named; Jesus, he and those who practiced Christianity with him were Hated by the Priests of that time, they were; Deemed to be unlettered and ordinary ( Jesus Diciples). Whereas those who didn’t want to be Hated made up a; Softer Christianity, a Christianity to; Tickle peoples ears, after 300 years the Roman Church appeared and through political and military alliances became powerful, from the Roman Church, branches of other churches appeared, but all from the same Tree, and not Christianity.
Dean, it’s very easy to lay the blame on tbe RC church. However, only the state is responsible for its citizens. After 1973 the state partially showed some care by legislating for an allowance to be paid to single mothers.
The 2015 Commission report has take over from the State Ministers to mislead & stop justice been done to the protestant Bethany & the Denny baby & Mother Home , of course the Bethany Home had my 22 years research to them & then back up by Dr Niall Meehan and Dr Sarah Anne Buckley & i was able to get her the 11 ledger of burials for over 200 years it got them all in one shot no researchers have ever been able to fine so much all cover up very nicely , you would need to digger up most of Dublin to fine any thing that could come close to getting to truth & where the book stop , had a lot of this proof & was saying for years who the blame lay & why we had a Min Holocaust who was paying for the Bethany Home was paying for there nurse children many 100′s was let die but the Church of Ireland & State & ICM. all ways it was not us gov. even those there was the 1908 children a.c.t.to protection Irish children , but the Irish State all look the other way it has take me 22 years to blow all this high sky Dr Anne Sarah Buckley of all of the stuff in the Ledgers that they never believe any one would ever see the light of day & they was not that far from been right , What a break we got we got , bur the commission turn down Sarah when she ask them did the want them I had all so offer them to them, but as they only want to keep all this up & hope people like me would not last muck longer, Job done Yes we like our Catholic Survivors have lost a lot of great people , but they & my lovely Wife Carol will want us to keep going no matter what , I Have A Dream That This Will Be No more , I Have A Dream Derek Linster
When the [Catholic] lawmakers are colluding with the perpetrators in the Catholic Church no one will ever face justice. Ireland is a Catholic Church State. There are not two separate entities. It’s an illusion. The idea of the separate State only kick in to protects the assets of the Church by sticking the taxpayers with the bill for crimes committed by the Pope’s perverts, sadists and baby traffickers.
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