I’M NICHOLAS ST WENCESLAS – misanthropist, holiday magnate and CEO of Christmas LTD. We’re the company who makes you pay more for your Christmas, while giving you less.
At Christmas LTD we relish in the commercial side of the season, feeding your spending habits with premium gifts from our exclusive 2014 range at ChristmasLimited.biz. I have prepared a few alternatives though for those of you who want to show your loved ones you care…just not enough to get them an expensive present.
So sit back and relax, because Christmas LTD has got your back…
A stainless steel meat thermometer will save your mother hours of concern over whether the turkey is cooked this year.
Get it right, Mother….
Dads are great aren’t they? They spend their spare time picking us up and dropping us off wherever we need to be. And as much as they complain, they secretly love it. So why not get him his very own chauffeur uniform this year?
Now he can look the part on those fun family journeys…
Does your brother spend hours playing computer games? And try to convince your family every year at Christmas dinner that a zombie apocalypse is most certainly on the horizon?
Show him how much you care this year by providing him with the relevant things he will need to beat the zombie folk.
Some tinfoil, duct tape, wire cutters and hand sanitiser should do the trick.
For the girl who has it all. Give your sister the gift of nothing this Christmas.
Voilà…
And the very next day you went back and returned it.
Getting a gift for your girlfriend can be tough but have you noticed her not-so-subtle hints? Borrowing your socks, asking you to mop the floor? She is clearly pining for these mop slippers. Brownie points.
Oh lazy days…
Your boyfriend and you gush about the future and all the fun things you two are going to do. It is truly adorable. Why not bring the dream to life and make him a photo album of what your future children will look like?
You don’t even need to be an editing mastermind, there are plenty of apps and face-morphing baby-maker websites out there.
Shout-out to How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days for this gem.
Give them your best wishes… literally.
Christmas comes but once a year, so let’s make it count. I want you dropping cash like your wallet is on fire… I believe in you. Don’t let me down.
Nicholas St Wenceslas
CEO, Christmas LTD
Facebook.com/NicholasStWenceslas
Nobody likes Christmas LTD, so have an Unlimited Christmas with Meteor.
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