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Quiz: How much do you know about cuckoos and vultures?

Don’t get in a flap about this.

DEPENDING ON WHO you ask, the government has either ruffled the feathers of certain birds or have been acting a bit bird-brained in recent days.

Stories of so-called cuckoo funds and vulture funds making life difficult for first-time buyers ignited renewed debate on Ireland’s housing crisis.

The government took action this week by enacting legislation to make it more difficult for them to operate - but opposition parties argue it doesn’t go far enough.

But maybe, just maybe, all the situation needed was a tongue-in-cheek quiz about vultures and cuckoos? Is that the solution to Ireland’s housing crisis? We’re about to find out.

What does an adult cuckoo look like?
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Do we have any native vultures in Ireland?
Yes
No
Cuckoos are known for laying eggs in the nests of other birds. What's the next part of this devious plan?
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The victim of this bird crime raises the cuckoo chick along with its own until eventually the adult cuckoo returns and removes the other fledgling from its nest.
The adult cuckoo returns when the nest is unattended and eats the other eggs.

Once the cuckoo fledgling hatches it proceeds to kick the other eggs out of the nest.
It tricks the other bird into signing adoption papers for its egg.
What is a vulture fund?
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A company that buys properties but withholds them from the market to create a supply shortage.
A hedge fund that only sells its assets if it can guarantee a 200% profit.

A hedge fund that targets distressed investments.
It's like a PRSA pension plan but for vultures.
And what is a cuckoo fund?
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A commercial letting company that incessantly raises rents.
When housing is bought by an investor before it becomes available on the open market.

The same as a vulture fund, but for property.
A fund that birds who have been the victim of cuckoos can seek compensation from.
When are you most likely to see cuckoos in Ireland?
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April to August
November and December

All year round
All year round (but they molt excessively in autumn and will often hide away for several months)
Old World vultures and New World vultures look very similar. Surely they're related, right?
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What? Of course they are, and very closely related at that too. Look at how similar they look.
Only distantly. The fact that they look so similar is an example of convergent evolution, where species independently develop similar traits.
When did vulture funds first arrive in a big way in Ireland?
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After the dot-com bubble burst
During the property boom

After the property crash
In the late 1990s, as the Celtic Tiger started to gain momentum
What is the name of the investment fund at the centre of the controversial purchase of 135 homes at a new development in Co Kildare?
RollingNews.ie
Lone Star Capital
Round Hill Capital

Maynooth Hill Capital
Irish Hill Capital
If you upset a turkey vulture, what will it likely do to you?
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It will start crying, like the deep gutteral sob of an adult man.
Attack with its large talons.

It will just flee, they want nothing to do with humans.
It will vomit at you.
Is the roadrunner related to the common cuckoo?
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Yes
No
This rather intense-looking fellow has a suitably intense diet - the bearded vulture is the only vertebrate to eat almost exclusively...
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Bananas
Bones

Brains
Other bearded vultures
The Dail voted to impose 10% stamp duty on bulk purchases of properties (not including apartments) in a bid to tackle cuckoo funds. What counts as a bulk purchase?
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Two or more units on a cumulative basis over a 12 month period
Any situation where the person buying the property doesn't intend to occupy it

Five or more units on a cumulative basis over a 12 month period
10 or more units on a cumulative basis over a 12 month period
The Dáil heard this week that vulture funds are preparing to do what in Ireland?
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Spread their wings
Sink in their talons

Pick the country apart like a corpse (a bit much, right?)
Gobble it up with their big beaks
Finally, Dustin the Turkey is...
... 100% a turkey.
... part turkey and part vulture, but has given conflicting answers on the exact breakdown, ranging from 10% to 50% vulture.

... 100% a turkey vulture.
Answer all the questions to see your result!
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You scored out of !
You are this tiny bird, who still loves their child unconditionally, even if they are suspiciously large
Share your result:
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You scored out of !
You are the needlessly intense bearded vulture
Share your result:
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You scored out of !
You are this extremely large cuckoo fledgling
Share your result:
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You scored out of !
You are a turkey, the wanna-be vultures of the bird world
Share your result:
Shutterstock
You scored out of !
You are the Dublin housing market
Share your result:

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5 Comments
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    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Big bad bull
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    Dec 5th 2015, 8:45 AM

    It’s a day for the high stool I think..

    244
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    Mute Tony Stanley
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:42 AM

    I just laid a high stool….now it’s a low stool!

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    Mute Ian Gray
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    Dec 5th 2015, 8:44 AM

    Fluichy ar lá

    154
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    Mute DMcE
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:01 AM

    Journal, what’s with the file photo? Can’t you people point your phone out of the window and take a picture of the actual storm effects?

    151
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    Mute Neal Ireland Hello
    Favourite Neal Ireland Hello
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:08 AM

    The Jpurnal is based I Dublin and the worst of the storm is happening initially in the west of the country and they don’t have a camera with a two hundred mile zoom lens.

    103
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    Mute Niall Mulligan
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:10 AM

    They don’t have windows because you don’t click their ads. :(

    102
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    Mute Leanne
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:12 AM

    @DMcE talk about looking for something to complain about! Can you not picture a storm in your head or look out your own window?

    69
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    Mute IrishStoner
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    Dec 5th 2015, 8:47 AM

    Dam the cliffs are closed.

    117
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    Mute Louise Ní Riain
    Favourite Louise Ní Riain
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:14 AM

    Drove on m50 slow down people

    81
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    Mute OCallaghan TP
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:47 AM

    Today the council are out putting boiling tar into holes filled with water and throwing gravel on top.. its not going to stay .. why is this always done in the rain ???

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    Mute jane
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    Dec 5th 2015, 10:20 AM

    What idiot council is doing that?

    63
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    Mute SHANKSGHOST
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    Dec 5th 2015, 10:21 AM

    water conservation !

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    Mute Carina Clarke
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    Dec 5th 2015, 10:53 AM

    Have to spend the budget before the end of the year. Could do a bit of planning and fill the potholes earlier in the year

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    Mute William Boyd
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    Dec 5th 2015, 5:47 PM

    Don’t forget to turn the tap off when washing your teeth, its all about water conservation after all?.

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    Mute Louise Ní Riain
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    Dec 5th 2015, 8:56 AM

    Ugghh have to go to work in that. More of a day for the high stool

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    Mute Vincent Meehan
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    Dec 5th 2015, 10:41 AM

    I don’t mean to poke holes but that headline picture looks alot like Toronto and their street cars in the background?

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    Mute Derek Richardson
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    Dec 5th 2015, 8:53 AM

    It’s alright ye all can go back out tuesday we have a meeting in Dublin to see we can we batten down storm austerity which has been raging for years

    16
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    Mute Cathal Shannon
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:05 AM

    You’re some saucepan Derek… I really hope you get soaked today

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    Mute jane
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:13 AM

    And Tuesday

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    Mute Shane Lyons
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    Dec 5th 2015, 3:49 PM

    Cathal I wonder who pi$$ed on Derek’s cornflakes???

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    Mute Derek Richardson
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:14 AM

    Cathal rather be a saucepan than a colander and have all drained out of me without trying to put a stop to it

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    Mute Cathal Shannon
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:29 AM

    Empty vessels make most noise

    32
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    Mute Derek Richardson
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:32 AM

    And the more noise the better

    4
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    Mute Derek Richardson
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:08 AM

    Did last sat not today though don’t like the same medicine over and over again like to try and do something about it

    9
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    Mute Gem Larkin
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:32 AM

    Some one spitting their dodie out …awhhhhhh. Did ya git out of your homeless sleeping bag on the wrong side this morning.. jockd ?? ,yellow to the front , brown to the back. Derek

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    Mute Derek Richardson
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:39 AM

    Gem Larkin do not insult the name give it hack

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    Mute Paul Radburn
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    Dec 5th 2015, 4:02 PM

    Fcuk off Dessie!

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    Mute Derek Richardson
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:17 AM

    A tarzans mate whether it rains or not Jane I’ll be there

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    Mute Gem Larkin
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:44 AM

    Lol

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    Mute KK
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    Dec 5th 2015, 4:51 PM

    We’re not in Kanas anymore Toto !

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    Mute Proudly Italian
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    Dec 5th 2015, 4:36 PM

    I was coming back home last night (well…. early morning… 3.00 am) with my Vespa…. I can tell I challenged several laws of physics driving my scooter around…. but was fun!

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    Mute Ryan Hardy
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    Dec 5th 2015, 6:35 PM

    Went for a run then shopping, dinner and pints, you’re all wimps

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    Mute Michael cunnane
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    Dec 5th 2015, 5:42 PM

    Went t bring me dogs for walk ths mornin.the look on their faces.”No fkn way u gettn us out in that lad, p**ss off “

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    Mute joocy_froot
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    Dec 5th 2015, 5:26 PM

    You can fly to Donegal?!

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    Mute Derek Richardson
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    Dec 5th 2015, 9:37 AM

    Haha see all hear all assummption making know damn all lackey

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    Mute Iain MacLaren
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    Dec 5th 2015, 4:47 PM

    Meanwhile the government argues for an exemption from carbon emissions targets at the Paris conference. Didn’t someone tell these storms that we’re exempt? #denial

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    Mute Veronica
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    Dec 6th 2015, 9:20 AM

    I was in Dublin yesterday & while it was raining up to 12 noon it cleared up good enough with some squally outbursts but nothing compared to what other counties got.. There was still a lot of dry intervals.. When i got back to cork last night it was bucketing again..

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    Mute Neville Mc Carthy
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    Dec 5th 2015, 10:47 PM

    I drove from Dublin to athlone earlier today,to say it was an unpleasant experience is an understatement

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    Mute Martin Gallagher
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    Dec 5th 2015, 7:03 PM

    Storm Desmond! Almost makes the bad weather sound kinda’ alright and that it’s even a bit of craic. Can’t wait to hear the future news about ‘Storm Jack Cruise’ and its ….Gaels of Laughter, Ha! .
    Weather you wouldn’t even leave a ladder out in, I think?

    1
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