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JESSICA BOWES SPENT Christmas Eve 2015 having reconstructive surgery on her face following a brutal attack by her ex-partner.
Women’s Aid says Christmas offers no respite for victims with many women and their children living in fear and walking on eggshells.
Speaking about her experience Bowes said: “Christmas is a dangerous time for lots of women because of the pressures that come with it.”
Describing her situation, Bowes said she had lost her previous partner to suicide and was a single mother when she met Jonathan.
“At first he seemed very nice and normal.” He complimented Bowes on her style and was very generous at the start of the relationship. He was soon keen to start a family together but started pulling off Bowes contraceptive patch, without her knowledge.
The first time he was abusive to her was when she was pregnant. Then when he didn’t come home at night he would call her a ‘control freak’ and ‘whack job’ when she asked where he was. He later assaulted her on a family holiday in Florida and threw her out of the hotel.
I was pregnant, had no money on me, and I’m diabetic.
Bowes also described how Jonathan used money to control her. “I was only working part-time because of the kids, and he wouldn’t give me so much as €50 for bills, yet he’d be out in town buying drinks for all his friends.
He’d ring me and say, ‘I’d hate to be you, stuck at home with three kids.’ He would offer to leave money for me at his work. I’d go to collect it but there’d be nothing. Then he’d text me: ‘Ha, ha, ha, ha’.
Bowes said she went to counselling with him but later realised that she didn’t need him. She applied for a barring order after he sent her a picture of himself with his wrist slit, saying he’d kill himself and asking how she’d explain to the kids that she’d killed both him and her previous partner.
He had applied to court for access. “He wanted the minimum access but I kept pushing for more, to call his bluff. I offered him week-on/week-off access knowing he wouldn’t take it. No agreement was reached in court and there was no court order.
Just after that court date he wanted me to visit Santa with him and the kids, and took offence when I refused. I was out with friends that night and when I got home he was hiding in the garden, waiting.
“My head was always the first place he’d aim for. I lost consciousness after the first punch, and again later in the attack. My eyes, face and skull were fractured that night, and I have permanent scarring and nerve damage.
It was merciless. I thought he was going to kill me. My daughter’s third birthday was the following day, and I discharged myself from hospital to help her blow out her candles. I was readmitted on Christmas Eve for reconstructive surgery on my face.
Bowes was given the Women’s Aid Helpline number by a social worker in the hospital. she said, “I’d heard of Women’s Aid before, but I had the idea that it was only a helpline, a listening ear, and I had that from friends and family already.
“I’d always thought what could Women’s Aid do? Have a chat, give a bit of sympathy but then I’d be back on my own again? Yet when I contacted them there was so much more to Women’s Aid that I hadn’t realised.
Safety planning, court support, access to refuge … the extent of the services, the lengths they go to on your behalf, are incredible.
Her abuser eventually received a three-and-a-half year prison sentence, with the last year suspended.
The staff and volunteers on the National Helpline are preparing for a busy Christmas period with women calling in the run up to Christmas worried about their partner’s behaviour and financial stress.
Linda Smith, Manager of the Women’s Aid Helpline says: “December and Christmas is a tough time for women and often the abuse they are suffering is more frequent and more severe with women disclosing that they have been assaulted, hospitalised, being ignored and being called the most horrible names.
Just because it is the festive season, it doesn’t mean that physical, emotional, sexual and financial abuse goes away.
“Women tell us that their ex-partners are threatening to withhold finances and presents unless she does what he wants. Women are being manipulated and controlled by their partners.”
The organisation’s 24-hour National Freephone Helpline will be open all day every day during Christmas including 25 December.
Women’s Aid is currently recruiting volunteers for the National Freephone Helpline and is in the middle of its urgent Christmas Fundraising Appeal.
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Slight breeze in Dublin and it’s red alert. Actual storm 1 hour away from Galway and Mayo and last minute warning issued. You’d be forgiven to think that the west doesn’t matter.
@Kieran Campbell: Met Eireann have strict criteria that they follow when issuing any warnings for any location… Stop talking nonsense with your anti Dublin chip on your shoulder.
@Kieran Campbell: That is exactly what is in Dublin right now (9am), a slight breeze…
@Lar Meyler: you are joking. It scared the life out of me.
@Kieran Campbell: I totally agree with you and that lad David that replied to your comment is probably some city boy that doesn’t even know his next door neighbor never mind reading the weather forecast
@John gaughan: I say he does not whinge as much as the culchies
Follow the Midlands Weather Channel on Facebook – Cathal predicted this days ago and was surprised no warnings were being given. He’s spot on with his forecasts.
With everyone giving out about previous warnings, it’s hardly surprising that it came to back to bite. In fairness, the cinema should of stopped the movie and let those inside know there cars were about to be flooded once the water started coming up.
@Ich bin brendan: spot on. Fellas on here bleating on about warnings and snow flakes. No wonder Met Eireann didn’t issue one cause if they did and it flopped they’d be listening to it. Keyboard warriors aplenty to knock something.
@John Hayes: Nonsense – they have a warning system for a reason – if they cannot manage to do their ONE JOB they need to taken to task – w e pay enougb taxes for public services in this country to expect people to do their jobs – i honestly don’t get all these apologists – ya can’t blame them , what should they have done , it;s not that complicated – issuing an orange warning at 8pm when a storm hit a 9pm – go back and watch the met eireann forecast on the 6 news of you want to see EXACTLY what they were saying – this apologist stuff is nonsense – Irish people are far too soft on their expectations of what level of public services they should expect for the very very high taxes we pay to fund public services – Met Eireann are not beyond criticism FFS
@Dave Hammond: glad you got that off your chest Dave … nothing like a good rant. You surely have heard of the saying – it’s as unpredictable as the weather- which is what weather is UNPREDICTABLE even with technology. A warning at 8pm for 9pm is better than no warning at all in my eyes. Happy Christmas fella.
Some comments here are hilarious as per, hence why I pop in to see the usual suspects here who’d argue with their own shadow.
If there was warnings we’d have the usual that its ott and “there’s no need for warnings” and if we had a late warning/no warning it’s “where was the warning?”
Can’t win.
@Gavin Mckenna: sounds like you have a CV in with the Wet Office Gavin?!
@Gavin Mckenna: its not complicated Gavin – they have a warning system – the whole point is that a lot of people think they cannot use it correctly – and they are guilty of issuing too many yellow warnings to the point where people pay no attention anymore – imagine they had a yellow warning on yesterday – they issued an orange warning at 8pm for a storm that hit at 9 …..how on earth can you not think they need to be criticized and taken to task when they are not able to do the ONE JOB they are being funded for.
a bit late calling the Orange Warning at 9 wouldn’t you say, when it had already made landfall at 8.20pm in Galway and was already ferocious and almost at RED warnijng level!!!!
The Storm Never Bothered Me Anyway…
@Anthony Edward Healy: Came here for Frozen comments… was not disappointed.
Well, well that was some storm, no warnings, probably the worst storm in Cork since Ophelia. Met Eirean gave no warnings,this was coming, they only gave a status Orange for Cork when the storm was halfway through it looked worse than that.
A typical winter storm.Have to say life goes a lot easier when they are no warnings of storms.
Met Éireann needs a little room on this one, the weather warning was gave when it developed. The difference here is that the storm built late (Portugal only named it on Tuesday and it was not expected to be bad) , it came from an unusual source and took a big swing to the left allowing it to build. We don’t normally get big storms storms building in strength as they hit us. The ones we get warned about are massive things way out in the alantic that done look like they will reduce in strength as time and distance slows them down.
My question is were pre orange status indications and were they acted upon or observed on time.
One hour warning given at eight taking effect at nine if that was Dublin or the East coast they would be talking about it a month before
Car parks on the Seafront in Salthill regularly flood when there’s a storm. A sign to remind drvers of this would be good idea.
@Conall: plenty of those in situ, the pre warning didn’t give people a chance to cancel plans for cinema etc. Some newish hybrids still on the prom waiting to be towed.
Storm Elsewhere more like!!!
well i think they underestimated the strength in the North East, it was very severe Wednesday night, stuff blowing all over the place and very hazardous driving conditions
have your say