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EARLIER THIS WEEK, a new study linked Facebook with increased depressive feelings.
Why? Because of that well-known phenomenon of comparing yourself to others.
“It doesn’t mean Facebook causes depression, but that depressed feelings and lots of time on Facebook and comparing oneself to others tend to go hand in hand,” said study author and doctoral candidate Mai-Ly Steers.
Many of us have toyed with the idea of giving it up completely. Deleting the app from our phones and only talking to real human beings.
Matt Weinberger tried to do it – but found it harder than he thought. But his reasons are more practical than psychological. He explains:
“This past winter, I stopped using Facebook for a couple of months.
It’s really hard to not be on Facebook. But if you can last, you might just learn a little bit about how social media messes with your brain.
I used to really like Facebook. I’d go on there to tell stupid jokes and share links in a setting that felt at least a little more intimate than Twitter. I mean, they’re your ‘friends’, right?
But after the umpteenth thread derailed by people wanting to have their own conversations in my own feed and ruining the fun for everybody else, I decided it was easier to just stay quiet. Those few things I did post, I would anxiously check every so often in fear that everything had jumped off the rails. It became a source of some anxiety.
My hiatus wasn’t part of a grand personal statement on the role of social media in our lives. I didn’t write a dramatic manifesto on how I was quitting, or delete the app from my phone in a grand gesture. I just realised I wasn’t enjoying it anymore, and so I started checking it less, until I stopped looking at it at all.
Once I realised I wasn’t really looking at Facebook anymore, I challenged myself to see how long I could go. I made it just about two months, sticking to Twitter and Twitter only.
But it’s hard not to be on Facebook.
First, because everybody uses it, my social life had come to be defined by Facebook invitations.
I’m almost positive I missed some parties, not to mention all the life milestones that get put on Facebook and not shared directly with friends because who doesn’t check Facebook twelve times a day?
But in a much more literal sense, it’s hard to not be on Facebook. Apps on my phone use Facebook to login. Events I wanted to go to would ask for a Facebook RSVP. Stores would offer coupons for liking them on Facebook. Lots of brands tweet or otherwise push out links to Facebook content across their entire social media presence:
Again, there were no rules to my self-imposed challenge, and it wasn’t like I was forfeiting anything. But it wasn’t fair how often Facebook ended up in my face. Suddenly, I noticed just how pervasive it’s become.
It also taught me something interesting about the ongoing Twitter vs Facebook debate.
On Facebook, you’re at the center of a network of friends, and friends’ friends, and friends’ friends’ friends. On Twitter, you’re just another user.
The Twitter philosophy results in the kind of online harassment we’ve seen as GamerGate and the like, which is an awful result. But Facebook’s more intimate setting means that your life is basically always on display for the people who theoretically know you best. I found Twitter to be more comfortable.
I came back to Facebook in early March to announce that I had started working here at Business Insider.
All in all, my time away wasn’t a huge deal. Most people didn’t even seem to notice I was gone before I said something towards the end of the experiment, which was a small blow to my ego, but a very helpful reminder that you are not your Facebook profile.
My hiatus helped recenter me and reminded me of something very important: Social media is supposed to connect us, and at its best, it can make us feel a larger part of the lives of those around us. But it can be a distraction, a crutch, and a way to feel more alienated than ever before.
And so it’s with mixed feelings that I report that for better or for worse, Facebook is the glue that’s holding large portions of the web together, whether we want it or not. No matter how it changes, and no matter how much it stops being fun, we many Facebook users aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.”
Matt Weinberger
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I will miss Melissa more than Sean
@CKC: she die?
@Quentin Moriarty: No
@Quentin Moriarty: she had one party trick …
@Greg Blake: was that the brilliant bridesmaids part?
He’s on his way out and still continues to lie.
He should team up with Chemical Ali and do a corporate lectures tour on defending the indefensible
I struggle to think of many people more odious and smug than Hannity.
@The Guru: one of the few faces that trigger my urge to punch it repeatedly until that smug look is knocked off.
“he’s an unbelievably gracious person”. “He’s always thinking of others”.
Are you sure you know who the current president even is?
His comedic interventions will be missed. Luckily with have Kelly-Anne (aka meth Barbie) to keep us enterained
Think Sarah Huckabee will be better taking on the hostile media as press spokesperson …How long more can they ask 70% of their questions on Russia….
@John003: as long as it takes.
@Deborah Behan: Or their rating do down….Whichever is first….
@John003: maybe, just maybe if they got an answer that wasn’t proven to be untrue they’d stop asking the same question. Think about it, every answer on Russia has changed repeatedly. “do you think Russia interfered in the election?” alternating “no” “yes” “maybe” “no” “with others” “Putin says no”. Another great example is Don Jr changing his story about the meeting with what he was told was a Kremlin lawyer on a daily basis which has now changed to him not talking anymore after it was revealed that there were up to 8 people in the meeting contrary to his statements saying there were 4. If they consistently gave the same answer there would be no need for clarification
@Paul Quirke: Ha ha. I call her Goebbels Barbie!
He forget the second C in cooks… just before the k there….
@Brian Guilfoyle: good one Brian.
@Brian Guilfoyle: coocks?
Fox News talking about media bias. Does it get any more surreal?
Too many Cooks and no ingredients,and no recipe,Lurching from one policy and legislative failure to another ,mired in intrigue with dubious people,let’s welcome him to Ireland he’ll fit right in
Not a shred of evidence to prove what psycho Trump and Spicer says is fake news.
@JimmyMc: One story means all media systematically makes up facts? Fox News is the real perpetrator of fake news.
@JimmyMc: one story where people had to resign and the victim of the story himself said “everyone makes mistakes” as he was graciously accepting their apology.
For a second there I was astounded- I thought it read ‘crooks’. Now that would have been a popcorn munching story!
Ill miss her. Such entertainment.
What a clown of a man still spewing out bulls#1t about fake media. I’d rather fake media any day over a nutcase president
Too many crooks more like…
think he meant too many crooks..
What else do you expect from liars and conmen, you’d hardly expect them to say they’re honest and provide real facts 99% of the time. When you’ve got idiots, stupid enough to vote for you and think you’re a God. You’re going to milk it, for what it’s worth and laugh at your supporters behind their backs.
Too many crooks or cooks?
have your say