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I’LL NEVER FORGET my bleary-eyed brother-in-law grabbing me by the shoulders at last orders, saying “Have another one, for me. I’m up with the kids in the morning. Enjoy your nights out while you still can.”
Wise words. If only kids-free me had realised how lucky I was back then. Not just because of the nights out, but because of the sheer freedom of being hungover with no-one to worry about but yourself.
Whether it’s after a massive wedding or a couple of beers and a boxset of a Saturday night, few parents actually plan to be hungover. You’re just having the one! You’re off to see the mates for a few much-needed sociables and grownup chats, what could go wrong?
Well, that’s just it – all that unbridled adult conversation creates an intoxicating sense of abandonment. Forget tomorrow! It’ll be grand. Right now, you’re free!
The next morning…
Whether you have kids or not, you’ll no doubt wake up with some or all of the following: a headache, a dry mouth, a funny tummy and a certainty that you’ll never look at a glass of wine again.
But the wake-up call will likely be a lot more painful if you’re lucky/unlucky enough to be a parent. Your child rouses you by either shrieking from the other room or hoisting your eyelids open with their fingernails.
The universal initial thought is “Something is terribly wrong.”
Getting through the day
Pre-kids, you could tuck yourself up on the couch, turn on a movie and wait for the horror to pass.
Post-kids, you simply have to grin and bear it. You’re a parent and there are little humans that need entertaining/keeping alive. Short of setting the little ones up in front of a six-hour Peppa Pig marathon (not my recommended solution), you’ll have to get creative.
Get out early, and walk somewhere if possible. Your hangover is only going to get worse as the day snails on so you might as well try and create the illusion of being active.
Being hungover at least once is bound to happen as an often-housebound new parent, but if you’re suffered through a particularly bad one, you’ll probably be more likely to exercise caution the next time. Allow me to share with you once such bad experience, from…
The Great Horror Hangover of 2013
It was my first night out since the firstborn’s arrival. Three mums who don’t get out much and all the red wine later; what had been packaged as a “quiet meal with the sisters” became a lock-in at the local.
Given Lara was about six months old, she’d been awake since 5am, and the husband was gunning to get back to bed. Therefore, I woke up to her being deposited on my face and drooling into my mouth. Not a good start.
I was cast adrift while holding my excitedly expectant bundle of odours. She’d just started on solids. And now she needed changing.
What unfolded became the stuff of nightmares. The nappy switcheroo went smoothly enough, but not without some dry heaves on my part.
Four hours later (but, in actuality, about 45 minutes later; time reverses when you’re parenting hungover) I pleaded with Himself to get out of bed, but was met with “Sorry, feel really rough. Must be coming down with the flu. I’m actually sick, you see.”
The flush of panic was real; I had to kill eight hours solo? With that threatening nausea hanging over me? One thing I’ve learned since then is to be as prepared as possible, if I’m considering having even one more drink than intended…
The items you’ll need to get through a hangover post-kids
Like I said, no one “plans” to be hungover. Instead, we skip out the door in a state of delusion, crowing we’ll be home on the last train.
Be smart, and ensure you always have a few things in reserve in case you stumble through the door at 4am. They are, in order of importance…
1. Crisps: A salty snack will help you feel better, I promise. Crisps can also be used to bribe your children with, whatever works.
2. A decent breakfast: While it’s not always possible to have sausages and/or rashers waiting for you in the fridge, it is more likely you’ll have eggs in the press and potato waffles in the freezer. Fried eggs on waffles will provide the carb and protein hit you’ll need before you face anything
3. Ice pops for later: They slowly and steadily rehydrate you, and might freshen up that awful taste in your mouth too.
4. Dioralyte and Alka-Seltzer: Speed up the healing process while you open another packet of crisps.
Congratulations, you’ve killed a few hours and now earned yourselves a movie marathon that will take you up to dinner (you’re ordering pizza, remember?) then, you’re on the home straight.
All that’s left is to vow never to parent hungover again. A vow I’ve made more than once.
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looks like parents in the old days were on to something when they put babies in a drawer, couldn`t roll over on your tummy in them either.
@Motherofdivinejebus: Indeed, or slept with them in the bed!
Lidl also provide a baby boxs to new mothers, supervalue give out baby bags … Not sure how’re you suppose to get them to sleep in the bag though.
The use of Baby Boxes has been credited with helping reduce infant mortality rates in Finland, where they have been in use for over 75 years….We catch on fast!
@Conor Mac Manus: You are right that they contributed to reducing infant mortality rates there, as did the thousands of paediatricians trained by the that pioneering doctor Arvo Ylppö, who recommended giving babies more air and that they sleep with their mothers, in addition to emphasising the importance of a high standard of hygiene.
However, what really brought down infant mortality, especially perinatal mortality, more than anything else was the sauna.
Until the Second World War, most Finns lived in modest houses or cabins in rural area, but virtually every home had a separate sauna building, where there was a wood-fired boiler to produce hot water. That was where women went to give birth and the bare wooden boards in the sauna were guaranteed sterile, since they were immersed in steam for hours every week. Many Finns were literally born in the sauna, which is probably why they enjoy it so much.
My wife and I received two of those boxes in the early 1970s. The material they were made of is more a type of fibreboard than cardboard, and the pack also contained (and still contains) an enamel basin, soap and other toilet requisites as well as nappies, clothes, sheets and quilts.
It also contains a pack of six condoms. I wonder will they be putting any of those in the packs in Limerick?
No condoms in the Limerick box’s
@Conor Mac Manus: A lot of 75 year-olds in Finland are complaining about having to sleep in a box. A lot of them would prefer a bed.
@Padraic Reid: Does your Mammy know you’re at the computer again?
@Rotarua: You could just imagine Breda O’Brien’s next “column” in the IT if there were condoms in the boxes. LOL We’d probably hear few squeals from Gaynooth as well.
I assume there is air holes in the lid?
@Tweed Cap: LOL The lid is removed and becomes a second layer of insulation when the bottom of the actual box is inserted into it.
Nobody puts baby in a box…
Leaving hospital now will be like walking out of whackers pet shop with a rabbit under your arm.
Or in a box?
@Pauliebhoy: That thought is actually rather funny, but in reality the woman is not given the box when she leaves the hospital; it must be collected from a separate distribution centre, and this is done before she gives birth. If the woman is not collected from the hospital by someone, she is given a voucher to cover any taxi fare in excess of €10.
Here’s some more information on the boxes if you are interested: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maternity_package
That’s lovely. Sure what harm is there in giving the essentials to a newborn just in case. You never know the circumstances of people’s lives. I’ve heard of this Finnish tradition and I think it’s a good idea.
https://youtu.be/tH59qf8uwG0
The Finnish seem to be very sensible people from what I gather.
http://www.businessinsider.com/finlands-education-system-best-in-world-2012-11?IR=T
@J.Hanley #IRExit: The boxes were originally given only to people of low means, but to everyone from 1949 onwards, irrespective of means. They are provided free by Kela (the Social Insurance Institution) and can not be bought. However, Kela gave one to Prince William and Kate when their first son was born. Not that William and Kate likely needed it because they were short of a few bob, but the Finns may one day be able to boast that a future king of England slept in a Finnish baby box for the first few months of his life.
@J. Hanley: The YouTube video you linked to is a promotion by a commercial company which sells the boxes.
This video shows a woman unpacking one of the boxes that Kela gives free to mothers. Women can opt for a €140 cash payment instead, but around 95% take the box, which is worth a good deal more.
@J.Hanley #IRExit: I spent 6 months studying in Finland. Their public services are second to none. As a student I lived in a glorious apartment, with a huge room with a desk. It also had two saunas and outside bbq’s, which to be fair were useless in winter, the temperatures during the day were -18 and -30 at night. For €25 I could get all public transport for a month, including buses until 4 in the morning. There are state subsidised cafes for students where I could get soup, bread, two drinks and salad for €2. For €2.60 I could change the soup to a meal. For €4 I could get the fanciest meal. Bread and salad were unlimited. And these cafes are not just on campus, there are located in the city centre. If you are not a student you could still eat there for a couple of euro more. Education is free to masters level for all. They give refunds on empty cans and bottles via a high tech machine in shopping centres. 15c on a can and 10 to 20c on a bottle. During festival times homeless people collect these for cash, meaning there is no litter and at least some way a poor unfortunate homeless person can get some kind of cash. It was also very handy after having a party, enough empties to buy a couple more slabs of beer. Really wonderful infrastructure there for the people. We could learn a lot from them.
Am I living in a box, am I living in a cardboard box…
https://youtu.be/svVaEWQaoSo
The thing is that Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) was not called cot death before for nothing. It’s a shame they don’t go the whole hog and suggest that mothers have their babies close to them at night – most places in the world parents sleep with their babies. It has been found that the baby breathes in time with the mother when close to the mother’s body. Smothering or ‘overlying’ (except when the parent is drunk or drugged or very overweight) is NOT a significant factor in SIDS. I suppose at least with the small boxes, babies can be beside their parents’ bed, and so close to their parents, since a mother will likely awaken in the event of her baby stopping breathing – such is the bond.
We do know that breast-feeding is linked to SIDS, so that should also be high-lighted.
Breastfeeding is linked positively or negatively?
Got it from your other comments. Not clear in this one though
For clarification you meant to say breast feeding is linked to a 50% reduction of SIDS.
Your final statement reads like, Cancer is linked to smoking. You need to be clearer in what you say .
So it’s the BOXES! Nothing to do with advances in medicine, nutrition, hygiene, technology, information and education in the last 75 years. It’s the Boxes stupid!
@Margie Murph: Well, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is only related to one aspect you mention – and that is nutrition – since not breast-feeding makes it more likely.
@Margie Murph: No one has denied these advances, Margie. I think if you read the article again, you will see that the baby boxes are now acknowledged as ONE important contributory factor among numerous others. Another than I could mention is the fact that paid maternity leave is one year, and has been for decades. There is also paid paternity leave and the woman has the option of taking further leave at a lower per diem rate and is legally guaranteed the right to return to her job afterwards.
Bought two baby boxes last year for our newly born twins and I’d recommend them highly. Great strong box and come with loads of useful new born baby things (don’t ask me what was it them) Stayed in them until a few months ago.
So if the mother has triplets, do they call that a lunch box ?
A family box
@ Lucy… Hahahaha
It’s a great idea. You haven’t a friggin clue when you come home with a new born. There’s so much advertising thrown at you about all the new items to buy. Would have been good to go home with a medically recommended leaba
Ah come on David. You can’t just say “17 languages” in a story about Limerick and leave it there. Which 17?
@Ben McArthur: Well, I can testify that Tippish & Clareish is often spoken in Limerick but is usually met by bemusement by the locals.
Forget the box, use common sense!
how do I apply for a baby box
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