HEADING OVER TO France for the Euros?
You lucky sod.
We reckon you’re going to need a few words of French to get by. And if your school French is a bit rusty, your knowledge of verb conjugation not so plus-que-parfait (pun definitely intended), then we’ve got you covered. Pas de sweat, mon ami.
Here is your totally comprehensive and entirely practical guide to talking the talk like a true blue Francophone during Euros 2016.
(Just don’t blame us if your vocab gets you in hot water… Or, er, eau chaude)
French: Excusez-moi – une baguette avec poulet près d’ici, s’il vous plait? J’ai une gueule de bois
English: Please sir, the nearest chicken fillet roll? I have a hangover
Meaning: An invaluable phrase for the morning after Ireland romps home with a stunning victory and you’ve had one or two glasses of fine vin rouge too many. Oh well, we can but dream…
French: Nous ne sommes pas si incompétent en Irlande
English: We’re not this bad at home
Meaning: Not sure we’re going to cod anyone with this little line, whether you’re saying it in English, French, Greek, Zulu or whatever you’re having yourself.
French: L’abitre est un con
English: That ref is a pox
Meaning: Just like scribbling in the air is the official and universal sign language for ordering the bill (or l’addition to you), bonding with a fellow soccer fan over the ref is a total rite of passage when you travel to support your country. Sweden may be against us, and we’re against Sweden, but everyone is against the ref.
French: Mon bifteck n’est pas cuit – c’est toujours rose
English: This steak isn’t cooked, it’s still pink
Meaning: And let’s not even go there with the offensive stereotypes about frog legs and garlic snails. Oh wait. Forget we said anything.
French: Nous rêvons tous d’une équipe de Gary Breens
English: We all dream of a team of Gary Breens
Meaning: It may not rhyme in translation, but damn it – it’s still true.
French: Nous faison partie de L’Armée de Jackie
English: We’re all part of Jackie’s Army
Meaning: Self-explanatory. If this song doesn’t bring a hot, salty tear to your eye, then we’d like to inform you that your Ireland jersey is being confiscated. And you know what? Your passport is being revoked as well.
If it all goes a bit pear shaped and you don’t feel your Gallic charm flowing, just go with the funniest sounding word in French you can think of. In our opinion, this is definitely “pamplemousse” – which means “grapefruit”. It’s worth a shot, right?
PAMPLEMOUSSE HIM, REF!
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