IF IT’S A recurring nightmare for a person to dream they’re inexplicably naked in a public place, what do those who are actively enthusiastic about such behaviour dream about?
That question springs to mind with the news that Miley Cyrus, hardly a shrinking violet to begin with, is hoping to stage a fully nude concert in the name of ‘art’.
Fully nude means everyone goes naked by the way. Even the roadies.
That may be doing a slight disservice to Miley actually, as apparently a white milk-like substance will be liberally splashed about the place also.
A little background – Miley is currently being mentored by Wayne Coyne, 54-year-old frontman with the band Flaming Lips (who know a thing or two about bizarre, and thoroughly entertaining, stage shows).
They’ve been doing a good deal of collaborating and now Cyrus is apparently planning a nudey concert as a special event in honour of a song on her latest album Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz.
That song is called ‘The Milky Milky Milk’. Hmmm.
“Oh fuck..!!! @mileycyrus is planning a show where her, the band (us) and the audience are all COMPLETELY naked with milk (well white stuff that looks like milk) is being being spewed everywhere… It’s a video (in the works) for #mileycyrusandherdeadpetz song The Milky Milky Milk…” reads a post by Coyne on Instagram.
It’s not clear when exactly the concert will happen, but Miley Cyrus is definitely touring with the Flaming Lips, with a confirmed date in Detroit on 21 December.
Naked concert in Ireland?
Exciting times. So if they can hold a naked concert in America, can they hold one in Ireland?
Well, as with any mass event you would imagine a lot of boxes have to be ticked in advance of it happening.
TheJournal.ie put the feelers out to see what the odds are of holding a fully-starkers event here without getting arrested.
First port of call were the gardaí who were (perhaps understandably) quite cagey in their response.
We asked whether it’s possible to stage such a concert on Irish soil, and if not what laws would be broken.
“If a person believes that an offence is being or has been committed they should report such incidents at their local or any Garda station,” a spokesman told us.
So that’s not giving away too much.
Next we tried Dublin City Council who, after a little to’ing and fro’ing, told us they’d get back to us. One council representative told us that this is “to do with licensing I am sure”, but no further clarity has as yet been forthcoming.
Lastly, we went the legal route.
The Irish Naturist Association (INA) have a segment dedicated to the legality or otherwise of public nakedness in Ireland on their website.
The upshot of the legalese is that public nudity can definitely be an offence here, although if it is or not is a little open to interpretation / discretion.
The general rule of thumb is that if you walk about the place naked, and someone takes offence, then you’re in breach of the law.
This applies to all public places, or anywhere that is viewable from a public place.
But what about an indoor venue which can’t be viewed from the outside? Reading the legal advice that sounds like it could be ok to us.
We asked Pat Gallagher of the INA (which has been around for 52 years) what he thought.
“An all-nude concert sounds like an absolutely great idea to me,” he told TheJournal.ie.
It comes down to feasibility though, I just don’t see it happening in Ireland.
Having said that Spencer Tunick (photographer, most famous for organising enormous nude shoots) managed to get a couple of thousand people to take their clothes off in Cork and there was no issue.
“But what about an indoor concert?” we persisted. And it seems Gallagher thinks such an event might just be a goer.
If you run a venue indoors, and advertise it as what it’s going to be, and keep it out of sight, then yes, I can’t see why there’d be an issue. Because everyone there will know what they’re getting into.
Somewhere like Vicar Street in Dublin for example.
So there you have it. Assuming the correct licensing is obtained, and no-one offends anyone, the first all-nude Irish concert could be on the cards.
Over to you Miley.
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