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PHIL COULTER HAS written a song about water charges.
The man behind Eurovision hits Puppet on a String and Congratulations was inspired to put pen to paper after the controversy surrounding Irish Water grew.
Coulter debuted the satirical song Cool Clear Water on RTÉ Radio 1′s Countrywide over the weekend.
It contains many lyrical gems, such as:
Though it rains like hell ’til the rivers swell, now they’re trying to sell us the water.
Now we all share a bath but that’s a slippery path, but if you do the math we’re saving water.
When I go to the loo, I’m quick at what I do because a bill is due.
Coulter also complains about no longer being able to sing in the shower, for fear of a hefty bill.
We could see this doing well in Vienna next year.
Speaking on Countrywide, Coulter said he agreed with anti-water charge protesters.
“I think it’s interesting. We’re not a great country of protestors… but I think for once the ordinary Joes have stood up and I think that’s brilliant,” Coulter stated.
You can listen to the full song here.
Come out you smarmy “man” and debate me if you can,
Show your wife how you fund your pensions off our misery,
Tell her how the IMF rendered both your earholes deaf
And how you went down as a failure in our history
Conn so true Enda will go down badly in history along with the thugs in FG and cowards in labour .
Conn i can see a great career for you in literature with that great poem its brilliant!
Haha… cheers Gus… it’s modelled off a Wolfe Tones song called “The Black and Tans”… i just made a few adjustments is all
Great poetry conn. I am singing it as I type.
Great – we can sing it on the 10th….
Okay. We get it. Something’s happening on the tenth.
or the 12th…
Whatevs. If you want to publicise it in every thread, do the decent thing and buy some advertising space.
Publicise the song or the 14th?
The 10th is in the public’s interest.
10-12-14
Careful Phil – Enda,Lorraine,Joan and Co will class this as musical terrorism.
True, those ISIS fellahs play a mean triangle!
Martin thats sinister fringe music…..
If you play it backwards you can hear satan himself. The devils music is what it is.
Brilliant
It’s to late to weep and wail,
because you voted Fine Gael,
so pay up or without fail,
they stick you all in jail
for stealing water
Enda, Enda, what have you done, you’ve made a mess, since you begun
Didn’t think it possible, to f#ck up in so many ways, we laugh now, as we look back, at your magic 100 days.
There’s no goin back, you’ve made your bed, you’ve tried to f#ck us over, your only hope, at this stage now, is a lucky 4 leaf clover
But that can’t work, we want you out, all you’ve done is falter, the final straw, it came along, when you charged us for our water!!
Get out
Paddy Mac!
I am surprised that we have not yet had a statement from the government about this….accusing he of being part of ‘a sinister group’, etc. Fact is that the Nasty Party need to wake up to the fact that the people don’t want IMF, ECB and vulture capitalists etc running this country through a proxy (poxy) government.
Well done Phil. Passionate as ever. Luke would have been proud of you stance.
Enda Kenny you crook
You’ve run out of luck
And the people of Ireland
Dont want you
You’ve made them all poor
With that auld German hoor
Pretending that she really
Likes you.
Feel free to add a new verse..
And let’s not forget Joan the moan
“How dare these people have a new phone”
I sure her taxpayer funded one is a brick
You condescending cow
You make us all sick!
Splish splash I can not take a bath, water charges are adding up, Enda and Joan would squeeze blood from a stone and pretend everything is alright…….
Ahhhh Stop.
Maybe we should have bands on the marches – to help the singing.
I prefer the B Side:
‘Shove Your Water Charges Up Your Arse’
No Mark – some of us have already paid them. Bad credit ratings would have too serious consequences.
Wet Wet Wet are bringing it out on CD
Another one bites the dust /Queen, would be more appropriate.
She’s coming to the 2016 celebrations, Trevor…
The theme tune should be the funeral march.
Song should be we supply things to shove up the governments arse
Angela ,I wonder if one day that,you’ll say that,you care
If I say I love you madly,I’ll gladly,give you Éire
As, I’ll always be your ‘ puppet on a string’.
journal… how many articles on water can you out. please please come up with something else. G Brooks didn’t even get this many
“trot out”
There once was a man from nantucket…………eh….
Give me 20 minutes
To avoid fees he p!ssed in a bucket
Take 20 years, Fran….
Enough Enough
The water of d’arrière?????????????
Bring back Bertie Ahern – with Jarry Adams as Minister for the Disappeared….
Somebody is a bit obsessed with Mr Adams I think.
I love flushing 100 euro notes down the toilet. but before I do i always dangle it and take a pic first . DAFAQ
MU – you still got mental health issues?
In other news an IW employee dropped and wasted a box of paper clips today, stay tuned for thejournal updates on this breaking story… Followed at 9pm by our other IW stories, what Margret the HR manager ate for lunch (A Panini!…THE NOTIONS!), an unprofessional water meter installer photographed wearing a their vest inside out and the Irish water van caught endangering the lives of helpless children by recklessly driving 28kph in a 25kph school zone….
And now the end is near, enda fears the final curtain. My friends I hear your prayer. He’s gone of that I’m certain. But now. What will we do. The other partys are not able, so my friends I’ll say it clear, I’m no fine gaeler…..
There once was old man called Kenny,
Who stole everyone’s last penny,
He sat like a sap
And drank water from his tap,
With no water where will I put my last rennie
There’s little power in the shower as we there’s a bigger shower in power
i thought we already had a water protest anthem ON;LY OUR RIVERS RUN FREE
Harrumph for the governor
Cringe
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