THOUGHT YOUR JOB was bad? You probably haven’t had to coax a plastic bottle from a man’s, er, member, then.
It’s all in a day’s work for London Fire Brigade, which has been detailing some of its more risqué callouts on its Twitter account.
There’s the penis-in-a-bottle callout:
The hoover-helper:
The ‘I don’t know where to begin’ scenario:
And the ‘you’re old enough to know better’ rescues:
Perhaps it’s not a surprise that the embarrassing tales are being shared with the public (names withheld, of course), because of the release of Fifty Shades of Grey today.
London Fire said that in 2013/14, firefighters attended 472 incidents involving people being trapped or stuck, “often in everyday household items”.
“This has steadily increased year on year since the Fifty Shades of Grey books were released,” it added.
The Brigade started a campaign called Fifty Shades of Red, asking people to think carefully before getting themselves into sticky situations. Despite the campaign’s worldwide coverage, the Brigade are still called to more than one embarrassing incident every day.
Last November, firefighters came to the rescue of a man who had two metal rings stuck on his penis for three days. They cut the rings off using pedal cutters. Ouch.
We asked Dublin Fire Brigade if they feared a similar wave of calls, but they weren’t so sure.
“When the cases come there, they wouldn’t be specified in incidents,” said the control room staff member. “It’s more to do with patient confidentiality.”
If you want to ensure you’re not one of those people who have to call the fire brigade over something totally mortifying, here’s some solid advice:
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