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There’s a new sex toy for men, and it’s called ‘The Guybrator’ (NSFW)

It looks sort of like a Darth Vader helmet.

This article contains NSFW links.

SEX TOYS FOR men have had a bit of a chequered history. There are lots of them – and more and more are coming on to the market – but they’ve had trouble gaining the social acceptance enjoyed by their female equivalents.

This is perhaps because most male sex toys are either (a) designed to look like creepy pink fleshy vaginas (like the Fleshlight, marketed as the “World’s #1 Male Masturbator”) or (b) go up your bum.

So when a firm called Hot Octopuss released their first product for men, called Pulse, they had a lot of work to do marketing-wise. Their first step was calling it “The Guybrator”.

They’ve just released a new version of Pulse (called Pulse II), and it’s back in the media.

So… what is it?

The Pulse II is a sort of cap that fits over the top of your penis. It works by vibrating internally to stimulate the frenulum (that’s the very sensitive bit at the back where the head joins to the shaft).

According to the marketing materials: “Testers have told us they experienced a more powerful and prolonged orgasm and that it is like learning to masturbate all over again.”

Right so. How’s it different to other sex toys out there?

Well, most other male sex toys involve, basically, sticking your willy in something and pretending you’re having sex with it. The Pulse is more akin to non-penetrative female toys like the lipstick-style vibrator: it’s small, reasonably discreet, and doesn’t (the company hopes) have quite the same connotations of lonely neckbeards in their parents’ basements.

Here’s a video demonstrating how it works. Probably NSFW.

PULSE II Official / YouTube

There’s also a couples version, which has a separate vibrating mechanism on top for women too. The idea being, apparently, that you lob it in between you and… dry hump? Or something?

So how are the reviews?

Well, let’s turn it over to Amazon, shall we?

“Better than advertised”

“Stopping is like a train” (I don’t know but assume that’s a good thing?)

“Powerful little vader helmet”

Er, right then.

Written by Michael Freeman and originally published on DailyEdge.ie.

DE Syndication

More: This woman wore a Fitbit while having sex, and shared the results with the internet>

More: 11 thoughts everyone has during sex, not just you>

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75 Comments
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    Mute Dylan
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    Aug 17th 2014, 8:45 PM

    I don’t want a robot cutting my hair…..

    321
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    Mute Optimistic Mischief
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    Aug 18th 2014, 2:04 AM

    And who will cut the robots’ hair…?

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    Mute Dermot Ryan
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    Aug 17th 2014, 8:35 PM

    But sure we have a Robot for Taoiseach …We’re light years ahead of these teccies !

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    Mute Dermot Donnelly
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    Aug 18th 2014, 9:13 PM

    Impossible he constantly violates the first two laws of robotics

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    Mute Steve M
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    Aug 17th 2014, 9:05 PM

    Serious question…with more and more jobs getting automated, less people are required and add that a growing population…what happens then?

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    Mute Glen
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    Aug 17th 2014, 9:13 PM

    Google Georgia Guide stones and see rule no. 1.

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    Mute Ciarán
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    Aug 17th 2014, 9:51 PM

    Ah that’s nonsense we won’t need population control. Automation will improve our resource efficiency. We will need to restructure society though and the teething process will be very painful. Massive unemployment but gradually people will start to grow up knowing menial jobs just aren’t an option ambition to higher callings will be almost universal. We’ll need massive redistribution of wealth to stop people being left destitute. Socialism might be a dirty word in America but its the only answer in a world where the working class is completely redundant.

    In short don’t read those damn stones read Ian M. Banks brilliant “Culture” novels

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    Mute graham galvin
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    Aug 17th 2014, 10:14 PM

    @ciaran how exactly will this wealth be distributed? You think the multi billionaires of this world who discuss issues like this in secret are going to willingly hand over their monopoly of power?

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    Mute stani slaus
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    Aug 17th 2014, 10:25 PM

    Anarchy

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    Mute Jangles
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    Aug 17th 2014, 10:42 PM

    I blame Jetro Tull and his very handy seed drill.

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    Mute Mr Phil Officer
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    Aug 17th 2014, 10:47 PM

    Robots will never be able to take the place of consumers, someone will still have to buy these gadgets and a redundant working class would be counter productive.

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    Mute Kevin Carroll
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    Aug 18th 2014, 12:23 AM

    Hopefully full communism

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    Mute Ciarán
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    Aug 18th 2014, 12:54 AM

    Graham they won’t really have a choice but to allow for massive redistribution the majority of businesses would be devastated by the collapse in demand that would be inevitable when hundreds of thousands are made redundant. They need it as much as the people would

    It’s all just a stop gap though our ultimate goal should be death of scarcity. When there is no limit to what we can create, no finite resources to compete over then the concept of value as most people see it changes fundamentally. As I mentioned in my last post the Culture series has some great ideas on what a civilisation without scarcity, without restrictions, might look like.

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    Mute Charlie Mountney
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    Aug 18th 2014, 1:31 AM

    Hi Ciaran. I’ve been banging on about this for years. Iain Banks was a brilliant author and the Culture novels envision a believable future rather than the dystopian stuff that is so prevalent nowadays. As more and more people chase fewer and fewer jobs some employers with the approval of the government and cheers from the right wing press can drive down wages and outsource overseas. There needs to be a total rethink when it comes to protectionism.
    And a government with the guts to face reality when it comes to employment would be refreshing.
    In the long run, with the advent of more work being automated the ranks of the not working will grow. We need more facilities to help people lead lives where they feel part of society irrespective of whether they are working or not.
    Even the word unemployed has connotations of there being employment available.
    I remember Bertie Ahern giving a speech about ten years ago about how the population of Ireland would be double by 2020 and that is why we needed so much more housing stock and people from the new EU could tries to do all the crap jobs so we could cream off the rest. We can see how that worked out.
    I see no chance of change with the political class we have. There is just no one prepared to admit the truth.
    But the future will arrive whether they like it or not.
    Iain Banks Culture novels should be required reading for the political classes and a future to aim for. Instead we just get them spouting the same old rubbish.

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    Mute Charlie Mountney
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    Aug 18th 2014, 1:32 AM

    As the Sex Pistols so aptly sang, “No Future”.

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    Mute Charlie Mountney
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    Aug 18th 2014, 1:48 AM

    For could tries, read countries. I am already being second guessed by a machine. Ah well, garbage in, garbage out. :)

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    Mute Optimistic Mischief
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    Aug 18th 2014, 2:01 AM

    @Steve M A societal shift when we all remember that performing jobs that can be performed by machine is not people’s purpose

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    Mute Conor Burke
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    Aug 18th 2014, 10:20 AM

    The reality is that the less human labour involved in production and services means less value is created, which means less money going to workers and therefore an increase in poverty generally. More people more poverty more social decay. I’m all for automation and the reduction of laborious tasks but under capitalism that becomes a negative as wealth in isolated in the hands of the few, therefore we need to do away with this ridiculous system and build a system based on human need not profits for a minority. Capitalism is a rotting corpse the only future for mankind is to break with this antiquated system of greed, war and environmental destruction.

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    Mute Conor Burke
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    Aug 18th 2014, 10:29 AM

    Hmm, why all the red thumbs for full communism and a bunch of green thumbs for anarchy? They essentially mean the same thing. Just goes to show that people don’t understand what communism is

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    Mute Zozzy Zozimus
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    Aug 18th 2014, 1:11 PM

    I regard communism and anarchy as exact opposites. They lie at two different ends of the spectrum of collectivism.

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    Mute Silent Majority
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    Aug 17th 2014, 10:00 PM

    Proofreaders first to go? Bet there was a collective sigh of relief in journal towers at that news.

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    Mute Stephen Ramsey
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    Aug 18th 2014, 7:24 AM

    Proofreaders are already going. Web-based media doesn’t think it needs proofers (and it shows) while many newspapers and magazines can no longer afford them.
    The shame here though is that while a robot could check for grammar and spelling it couldn’t account for what makes a good sentence andr therefore can’t provide valuable constructive criticism.

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    Mute Conor Burke
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    Aug 18th 2014, 10:02 AM

    But Stephen, would a robot have spotted the extra r in your comment (andr) that is the 64million euro question :P

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    Mute Dara O'Brien
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    Aug 17th 2014, 8:47 PM

    Given the wonderfully risible outputs of spellchecker and predictive texting, proof readers are safe for a while.

    I’d like to see the clergy replaced by robots – they have the same need for independent thought and are significantly less likely to drop the hand.

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    Mute JD/DC
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    Aug 17th 2014, 8:39 PM

    Of course robots can replace actors. How could a human play Johnny 5 in ‘short circuit’?

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    Mute Larry McMahon
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    Aug 17th 2014, 8:45 PM

    Keanu Reeves is a bit of a robot?

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    Mute Dara O'Brien
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    Aug 17th 2014, 9:12 PM

    And the cast of the expendables 3 – except Mel Gibson, he’s just an alcoholic racist

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    Mute Thomas Meaney
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    Aug 18th 2014, 1:30 AM

    Agree totally – I know where the bawstard leees, I brought him there, Kawfax abbeee” Bram Stokers Dracula 1992

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    Mute Jack Ripper
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    Aug 17th 2014, 8:41 PM

    I fear for the bus drivers more than these guys. We will have self-driving cars and ships soon. It won’t be much longer before that translates to buses and trucks.

    In fact I’d say those jobs will be replaced long before proof readers.

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    Mute Glen
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    Aug 17th 2014, 8:44 PM

    Jack is a paid shill for the bus union !

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    Mute Richard McCarthy
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    Aug 17th 2014, 9:14 PM

    Yea sounds good, robots never go on strike,so no need for unions, will work 24 /7 for peanuts, and when the time comes instead of a huge public service pension pay off, they just head for the recycling centre saving the taxpayers a fortune,and best of all tax rates could be slashed.

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    Mute Jack Ripper
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    Aug 17th 2014, 9:17 PM

    Jack is an operations researcher.

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    Mute Zozzy Zozimus
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    Aug 18th 2014, 1:14 PM

    Jack seems quite insightful to me.

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    Mute Louise Broe
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    Aug 17th 2014, 8:55 PM

    Surely bus drivers will be out soon with auto-driving vehicles

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    Mute Gary Brandon
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    Aug 17th 2014, 10:15 PM

    The likes of the Dart and Luas could be automated within a few years, the ground work is there, they are on a fixed line so less of a worry for them to stray. As for the Luas though more so that would have to wait because there is a worrying amount of people who for some reason think that they can drive through them still.

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    Mute Audrey Byrne
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    Aug 17th 2014, 11:47 PM

    Wouldn’t worry too much about jobs being replaced by machines.. People will install machines, people will fix machines, people will invent machines. We might live in an “automated” world, but machines work on logic and cannot fully adapt to the unexpected. Although to be fair.. Machines will “work late on Friday and won’t call in sick on Monday “.. But where’s the craic in that :-)

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    Mute Jangles
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    Aug 18th 2014, 1:12 AM

    Exactly, the wars of the future will be fought in space by robots and our job will be to maintain
    and repair those robots.

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    Mute Brendáin MacShíomáin
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    Aug 18th 2014, 1:30 AM

    Or possibly on top of a very tall mountain.

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    Mute Ray rogers
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    Aug 17th 2014, 10:11 PM

    I’m surprised accountants aren’t on here, I’ve seen them on the top of other such lists

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    Mute Aidan Rafter
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    Aug 17th 2014, 11:20 PM

    Will robots get terrible wages and have to pay crazy taxes?

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    Mute Mindfulirish
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    Aug 17th 2014, 10:22 PM

    Foxcom have 10,000 robots for pick and place objects – each robot costs $20,000 which makes them easy to replace humans, they also have larger robots for packaging and shipping perpetration which are more complex and much more expensive. It makes delivery of large quantities of phones feasible and once the production runs are finished they switch of the machines. Brilliant but robots are already causing problems for unemployed unskilled people.
    Governments have accepted the system and accepted high levels of unemployment, the rich get richer.

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    Mute Ronan Stokes
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    Aug 17th 2014, 10:44 PM

    Foxconn.

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    Mute Ray rogers
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    Aug 17th 2014, 10:49 PM

    The answer is simple: be better than a robot

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    Mute Mr Phil Officer
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    Aug 17th 2014, 11:04 PM

    If you called a robot a gadget would that be racist.

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    Mute JOHN TURNIP
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    Aug 17th 2014, 10:10 PM

    The big corporations are only interested in profits and what better way to boost profits than having machines instead of people, machines that can work 24/7, never get sick, no unions or pay demands, but as a result unemployment will soar and who then can afford to buy their goods.

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    Mute Kevin Carroll
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    Aug 18th 2014, 12:26 AM

    Marx wrote about this over a hundred years ago. This is why capitalism is doomed to crisis after crisis.

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    Mute Optimistic Mischief
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    Aug 18th 2014, 1:59 AM

    If the society we live in made any sense at all then increased automation would mean increased leisure time for all, as it should support maintained productivity (i.e. same wages – why not?) with fewer working hours.

    Instead, of course, corporation owners & billionaire powers that be show their greed again by deciding this is an opportunity for them to get richer than ever before, disposing of employees as if their only value was as machines all along, and paying those who aren’t fired less than ever just because they can.

    This flawed capitalist model makes no sense. Demand is manufactured so that products can be sold to workers persuaded to enslave themselves purely so they can afford to buy said products that were never needed until demand was manufactured.

    We should have more free time than ever before. Instead, we have less than ever. We are better equipped than ever to end poverty, instead the gap between wealthiest & poorest is increasingly dramatically all the time.

    This system is rotten to the core, and robots are definitely not the problem. It’s time our society separated the value of the human lives that it is made of from their economic work. Economics should support us, and not the other way around!

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    Mute Sheik Yahbouti
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    Aug 18th 2014, 2:11 AM

    I remember in the seventies when there was a great fuss and to do about how to prepare the working classes (and others) for the unlimited leisure which was just around the corner as robots were going to all the work “any day now “. The problem was going to be how to prevent boredom and discontent – the good news was all material needs would be met! 8-)

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    Mute Charlie Mountney
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    Aug 18th 2014, 10:18 AM

    Well said OM. System rotten to the core with politicians who are the same or clueless.

    Is this really the 21st century. I see little change politically.

    Anyhow I am going to check out New Zealands Internet party. We really do need a radical change of political thought.

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    Mute Eric Davies
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    Aug 18th 2014, 12:52 PM

    more leisure time, ! less work ! that would make half the contributors on here just like the welfare classes they hate so much !!! what will they have to give out about when that happens ?

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    Mute Liamo
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    Aug 17th 2014, 9:15 PM

    CGP Grey has made a really interesting video about this very subject.

    Here’s the link. Have a look at it. It’s really quite interesting, if slightly unnerving.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Pq-S557XQU&list=UU2C_jShtL725hvbm1arSV9w

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    Mute Michael Fagan
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    Aug 18th 2014, 3:29 AM

    Those lists are American , not Irish

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    Mute Eric Davies
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    Aug 18th 2014, 12:56 PM

    and what difference does that make michael ? do you think that big businesses are going to say to their boards of directors and shareholders, “of course you do know we can’t do this sort of thing in Ireland dont you?”, get real man !

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    Mute Dermot Keady
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    Aug 18th 2014, 9:34 AM

    Damn ‘puters! Dey took er jobs!

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    Mute Sean Corcoran
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    Aug 20th 2014, 3:56 PM

    Cashiers are already being replaced by self-service check-outs

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    Mute scartboy
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    Aug 17th 2014, 11:14 PM

    Where are the solicitors when we need them…

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    Mute PSOB
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    Nov 28th 2014, 3:11 PM

    sounds like my job

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    Mute Ahmed Skye Mukhtar
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    Aug 18th 2014, 12:29 PM

    What’s left..

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