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Meet Barack Obama, stand-up comedian

“I’ve got 99 problems and now Jay-Z is one.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON2XWvyePH8

(YouTube: CSPAN)

THE UNUSUAL ANNUAL tradition of the US President cracking jokes for an audience of reporters and celebrities continued last night at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

Barack Obama’s speech has largely been hailed as both hilarious and better than that of actual comedian Conan O’Brien this morning.

If you don’t have time to watch the full video, here are a selection of the Democrat’s best lines:

These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit, I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be. Time passes. You get a little grey.

But some things are beyond my control.  For example, this whole controversy about Jaz-Z going to Cuba — it’s unbelievable.  I’ve got 99 problems and now Jay-Z is one.

I know CNN has taken some knocks lately, but the fact is I admire their commitment to cover all sides of a story, just in case one of them happens to be accurate.

The History Channel is not here. I guess they were embarrassed about the whole Obama-is-a-devil thing. Of course, that never kept Fox News from showing up. They actually thought the comparison was not fair – to Satan.

But the problem is, is that the media landscape is changing so rapidly.  You can’t keep up with it.  I mean, I remember when BuzzFeed was just something I did in college around 2am.

I had dinner with a number of the Republican senators.  And I’ll admit it wasn’t easy.  I proposed a toast — it died in committee.

Of course, everybody has got plenty of advice. Maureen Dowd said I could solve all my problems if I were just more like Michael Douglas in “The American President.” And I know Michael is here tonight. Michael, what’s your secret, man? Could it be that you were an actor in an Aaron Sorkin liberal fantasy? Might that have something to do with it? I don’t know.  Check in with me. Maybe it’s something else.

More: 9 adult toys you won’t believe exist

Picture: Caption competition: What have Babs and Barack seen?!

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