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AFTER A LITANY of prescriptions failed to control her stormy mood swings and deep depression, writer Ayelet Waldman finally found relief in a blue vial of diluted LSD.
Feeling she “had nothing to lose”, the San Francisco Bay-area former federal public defender deposited two tiny drops of the psychedelic drug under her tongue – and soon felt her gloom subside.
“I was starting to feel, frankly, suicidal,” the 52-year-old told AFP. “If the other option is death – or at least, misery that feels like death – then there’s no reason not to at least try something different.”
Waldman says she renewed her spirit by “microdosing,” a modish – albeit illegal and potentially risky – trend that involves ingesting a nearly imperceptible portion of a psychedelic drug, often LSD or psilocybin mushrooms.
The goal is not to hallucinate but to boost work performance and creativity – or, as was Waldman’s case, treat a laundry list of ailments including mood disorders.
“Within the first day I felt better,” she said.
The depression was just gone – and that was astonishing
She credits her daily LSD regimen of some 10 micrograms of acid – about one-tenth of a full, far more kaleidoscopic hit – with improving her relationships and enhancing her work.
“I would have access to ‘that flow,’” she said, describing how subtle doses of LSD changed her writing habits.
Your mind moves swiftly but not erratically, with a kind of really delightful focus.
Microdosing has gained traction outside drug-enthusiast circles in recent years, particularly among young professionals in California’s Silicon Valley looking to dial-up their careers.
Its growing popularity has been ushered along by several influential US podcasts and most recently Waldman’s latest book, “A Really Good Day: How Microdosing Made a Mega Difference in My Mood, My Marriage, and My Life,” in which she details how psychedelics helped her get off the manic-depressive rollercoaster.
‘More in touch’
LSD, or lysergic acid diethylamide, is a potent synthetic drug that gained notoriety in 1960s counterculture. In large doses it can induce hallucinations and drastically alter perception and cognitive functions for prolonged periods of time.
Carl, whose name has been changed for fear of legal repercussions, works in media in Washington and told AFP he has microdosed with LSD at work some half-dozen times in the past year.
He said the tiny hits help him stay focused.
“You’ve got more energy,” the 29-year-old said.
The core of your consciousness is still there – you just might be a little bit more in touch.
Oliver, whose name has also been changed, describes dropping microdoses as a “very mild euphoria – almost like anticipation of something good”.
The 25-year-old, who is also a media professional in the nation’s capital, has taken recreational tabs of acid – which he said have run him about 10 dollars each – in addition to tiny doses.
Rather than a full psychedelic experience, he said microdosing gives him “a slight sharpening of concentration, I think produced by the effect that LSD has of making everything feel textured and interesting”.
“I felt not on top of the world, but one percent more on top of the world than usual,” he said. “Which kind of made me feel like I wanted to work.”
Oliver said he thinks of microdosing as “a cop-out way of doing psychedelics”.
“It’s much less threatening,” he said wryly.
And is less likely to like, cause temporary ego death, or make you spiral into soul-crushing confusion over the changing color of the sky.
A legal gamble
While microdosing has shown anecdotal medicinal and performance-enhancing promise, potential risks like long-term toxicity remain unclear, said Matthew Johnson, who studies drug abuse and addiction at Johns Hopkins University.
Microdosing is “totally unstudied” for both funding and legal reasons, he told AFP: LSD was first criminalised in 1966 and in 1970 the US government grouped it, along with psilocybin, in the most legally restrictive category of substances alongside drugs like heroin and mescaline.
That classification brought mid-century studies on using psychedelics as medicine to a standstill.
Obvious hazards include ingesting street drugs cut with harmful substances or incorrectly controlling dosage, Johnson said.
And because intended doses are so small, perceived positive impacts might actually be placebo effects.
Still, he said microdosing warrants controlled study as “it’s absolutely interesting and very plausible that there could be effects of cognitive enhancement and anti-depression”.
His own studies have yielded encouraging outcomes using psilocybin to help cancer patients manage anxiety and depression, or to help tobacco smokers quit.
In general, he said, researchers focused on psychedelics say overregulation is hindering progress.
The legal gamble ultimately dissuaded Waldman from continuing to microdose. She received her initial 30-day LSD supply from a friend of a friend – but procuring more proved nerve-wracking.
Drug penalties vary state by state, but are often similar to the federal ones: up to a year in jail and a $1000 fine for a first offense of LSD possession.
As a former lawyer who has defended clients on drug charges, Waldman said she couldn’t justify the risk.
Until LSD is legalised – unlikely anytime soon – she said she probably won’t microdose again.
Unless, Waldman said, “I start to become suicidal again.”
If it’s a choice to die or commit a crime, I’ll commit a crime.
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I don’t understand why we’re restricting access to these drugs for medical research. We’re fine with allowing researchers to work with highly addictive opiates as we know of the medicinal benefits of them. Why not open the doors to researchers so long as they have a legitimate reason for their research?
@Jason Culligan: Because LSD does a lot to your perception of reality. Governments loose control of their carefully built narrative if the population is using LSD. I can’t see any other reason why.
Jason, I’m all for letting people access natural medicine but LSD is different. The mental health institutions in the UK are still full of the casualties from the 60s and 70s LSD epidemic. Many of them were one-off users. Mushrooms are slightly different in as much the amount consumed can easily be regulated by the user. With acid in those days it was take the tab and see what happens and many people were damaged for life. It was a kind of Russian Roulette. I think we all know why governments are happy to let Pharma keep churning out the opioids.
@Patrick J. O’Rourke: No they’re not. Talk about fear mongering.
@Mal: Well said. The mind is opened by LSD and this helps people think for themselves. The US government would sh*t themselves at the thought of larger numbers of their population thinking for themselves. Effectively what they are doing by banning LSD & other psychedelics, is taking away everyone’s sovereign right to explore their own consciousness.
If everyone in the world drank the potent psychedelic Amazonian medicine, Ayahuasca, we would live in a more peaceful and compassionate world.
@Paddy Ryan: Excuse me, as I went through the 60s/70s I can tell you that three of my classmates/friends from school in England are still in institutions from LSD damage. In my time at one grammar school the head count was over 20 for the whole school being treated with severe problems from LSD. At one point Graylingwell Hospital in Chichester was on overload from LSD casualties. LSD was available everywhere then. I was lucky not to end up the same. It either opened your mind or blew it. It’s a subject I know well so don’t talk about fear-mongering.
@Patrick J. O’Rourke: There is nothing worse than a bad trip. You can’t stop it once it starts.
@Pheilum Shannon: I don’t think people getting PTSD and schizophrenia from a psychoactive substance makes a more peaceful world. If you need drugs to open your mind then you didn’t have much of a mind in the first place.
People should do DMT
@Hello there friend: I’ve heard of people getting PTSD from smoking that. On the other hand, I’ve also heard good reports.
@Bairéid Rísteard: DMT changed my life for the better. I was in a very dark place for many years, and then smoked DMT a few times. Whatever it did to me, it really showed me the beauty of life and helped me get out of that dark place.
@Pheilum Shannon: it did the same for me though I wasn’t in a dark place at the time, I was just curious. It opened my eyes to the universe and has made me see the big picture. Amazing experience and one that will stay in your essence forever. If I had anxiety I’d definitely give it a go.
If you look at all the tribes that are left in the jungles etc. They run round all day in the buff flinging spears and darts painting each other up and getting high as kites on their own made beer and potions and spark plugs. They always look in great form and live till they are at least 3 hundred years old. And we can’t get a tiny drop of LSD when the shit hits the fan in our life.
Socialism doesn’t work.
@Games Greatest: They also have the shortest life expectancies, highest rates of miscarriage and a broken leg can be enough to end their lives. A tribal lifestyle isn’t exactly bliss.
@Jack Cassady: seems to in scandanavia. I would argue that if you have a strong man leader then you live in a dictatorship, not in a socialist society, ie: ussr, dknr, cuba, venezuela, etc. Life in Norway, Sweden and Finland seems just fine for its citizens
Nothing beats organic natural remedies.
@Paul Culligan: but LSD is synthetic magic mushrooms would be a natural remedy
@Jamie: I never mentioned LSD.
@Paul Culligan: Cancer beats organic natural remedies. That’s why we use chemo, radiation etc…
@Paul Culligan: Ah yes, nothing like a cup of chai tea with a spoonful of organic honey, to bring your tuberculosis back under control.
@Paraic McDonagh: I find my morning cup of hot water, grated ginger and squeeze of lemon keeps my smallpox quiet
@Matty kinevan: Stupid remark. Cannabis kills various strains of Cancer. We only use Chemo and Radiation because natural products havn’t been tried first.
@Paraic McDonagh: actually ‘green’ tea and citris fruits are the ones for TB. The curing of TB with or without natural remedies is a slow one, but no sugar and high protein foods also help immensely.
@David: you see!! Told ya’.
@Paul Culligan: I knew I was going wrong somewhere. Pity all the 100s and thousands of people who died a century ago didn’t know about the citrus tea without sugar trick.
@Paul Culligan: Paul, any links to peer-reviewed, blind-trial data backing that up? Would be genuinely interested to read.
@Paul Culligan: Various strains? There are over 200 “strains” Stop spreading dangerous misinformation. We have a name for effective alternative medicine, we call it medicine.
@Paraic McDonagh: i can only speak for Ireland there. A century ago, citrus fruits and sugar were only available to the English gentry. They were too costly for the minions.
@Matty kinevan: and there are approx 700 strains of cannabis. If further research was done, it could be possible to match the strain to the complaint. Dangerous misinformation? Lmao!
@Paul Culligan: I meant over 200 strains of cancer, as per your previous comment. Match the strain to the complaint? What are you talking man. The various cannabis strains don’t have all different magical ingredients in them to be tailored to specific illnesses. The strains mainly entail different smells, tastes, yields, disease/bug/mould/stress resistance and flowering times. The active compounds in all the strains are basically the same, there’d just be variation in the proportions of the active compounds, thc cbd etc… You don’t know what you’re talking about horse. Pseudo science bs
@Matty kinevan: So basically what your argument is, is that all of the people that purport to Cannabis curing their Cancer…are basically…..liars?
@Paul Culligan: Some are, yes. I’m an empiricist so I base my opinions on evidence. Not doubting that weed can have some medical benefits, but it is not a magical cancer cure as you are claiming it to be. But hey maybe me and the entire field of oncology are wrong
@Matty kinevan: I’m a bit of an empiricist too, based on the first hand testimony of the ‘magically cured’. You’re still advocating that they’re they’re telling untruths. Shameful.
@Paul Culligan: First hand testimony is largely useless information. Do you believe all the people who say they were cured at lourdes? Or that a psychic healed their sore arse? Next you’ll be telling me how great homeopathy is.
@Matty kinevan: ‘first hand info is useless’, Lol. Never heard as much bullshit in my life, tell that to the professionals. Calling the ‘cured’ liars….absolutely disgraceful. BMBL……and for that reason, I’m out.
@Paul Culligan: If you’re quoting someone, you’re supposed to use the words they actually used. No talking to people like you. If your kids get very sick, bring them to the doctor if you want to save their lives okay? Good luck
LSD is grand if you’re in a good mental place, if you’re not, and I know this from experience, you have some horrible trips! Wouldn’t go next or near the stuff again personally. But wouldn’t tell anyone else not to, as long as they’re aware of the possible effects.
@David: the trip depends on the person. Nasty person bad trip. Nice person nice trip. Speaking from experience. Seen lots of people having bad trips due to their negative life affecting the sub conscience thus .. bad trip. Never had a bad experience after countless trips acid mushrooms etc.
@Games Greatest: that’s a load of shite!
@David: You see. That’s why you had bad trips. Your nasty attitude. Negativity spewing out of you.
@Games Greatest: if you think my retorts to an idiotic Internet troll like you 40 accounts, are a true reflection of me as a person, you’re sadly mistaken.
@David: oh stop FFS i seen you say that to countless people. It’s boring you child. Just look at each of your replys. Toxic. That’s why you had trips. Also you would of been surrounded with other toxic people. Hence the bad experience. Now go cheer up take a nice walk you horrid child.
Micro dosing is not the same as full on tripping
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out.
Steve Jobs said it was one of his most significant experiences. As did the guy who invented either Betamax or VHS technology forget which but he said the whole thing came to him while tripping on this stuff. Don’t ask me. Any good idea I ever had was when sober and it was generally dependent on staying that way. But MDMA was originally developed and used as a marriage aid back in the Fifties. Not sure about LSD. Knew an oul hippie said he did a lot of it in the Seventies and he was still making his way back.
@John O’Driscoll: the guys who helped crack the DNA code were off their boxes on LSD.
@John O’Driscoll: and look at Jobs now. He’s pushing daisies. Mmm.. drugs are bad.
@EdmundOrlando: According to statistical based reports alcohol and heroin are the most damaging to the user and society..LSD is bottom.
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