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Here's nine things you may do that make people instantly dislike you

And being too nice is one of them…

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THERE ARE PLENTY of ways to turn people off.

In fact, most of them don’t require much effort. All it takes is one look at your social media activity or a casual in-person introduction to make someone realize they just don’t want to spend time with you.

We’ve rounded up some of the most common social turn-offs online and in person, as well as how to avoid them. Read on and see which ones you’ve been guilty of.

1. Sharing too many photos on Facebook

ap AP AP

You might be eager to share snapshots of your honeymoon, cousin’s graduation, and dog dressed in a Halloween costume, all within a 24-hour period.

But research has found that posting too many photos on Facebook can hurt your real-life relationships.

“This is because people, other than very close friends and relatives, don’t seem to relate well to those who constantly share photos of themselves,” lead study author David Houghton, PhD, said in a release.

Specifically, friends don’t like it when you’ve got too many photos of family, and relatives don’t like it when you’ve got too many photos of friends.

As Ben Marder, PhD, another author on the study, put it: “Be cautious when sharing and think how it will be perceived by all the others who may see it. Although sharing is a great way to better relationships, it can also damage them.”

2. Having too many or too few Facebook friends

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In one study, researchers asked college students to look at fictional Facebook profiles and decide how much they liked the profiles’ owners. The study took place in 2008, and the students had about 300 friends each.

Results showed that the “sweet spot” for likeability was about 300 friends. Likeability ratings were lowest when a profile owner had only about 100 friends, and almost as low when they had more than 300 friends.

As for why 300-plus friends could be a turn-off, the study authors write, “Individuals with too many friends may appear to be focusing too much on Facebook, friending out of desperation rather than popularity.”

On the other hand, the researchers acknowledge that if you look at a population where the most common number of Facebook friends is 1,000, the sweet spot for likeability could be 1,000.

Keep in mind, though, that one survey found that the average number of Facebook friends among adult users was 338 in 2014.

Interestingly, the study also found that participants weren’t consciously aware that they liked people less when they had too many or too few Facebook friends.

3. Disclosing something extremely personal early on in a relationship

fb1 Francisco Osorio Francisco Osorio

In general, people like each other more after they’ve traded confidences. In fact, self-disclosure is one of the best ways to make friends as an adult.

But psychologists say that disclosing something too intimate — say, the fact that your sister is having an extramarital affair — while you’re still getting to know someone can make you seem insecure and decrease your likeability.

The key is to get personal without getting overly personal. As one study led by Susan Sprecher at Illinois State University suggests, simply sharing details about your hobbies and your favorite childhood memories can make you seem warmer and more likeable.

4. Asking someone questions without talking about yourself at all

pedro Pedro Ribeiro Simões Pedro Ribeiro Simões

That same study by Susan Sprecher found an important caveat to the idea that self-disclosure predicts closeness: It has to be mutual. People generally like you less if you don’t reciprocate when they disclose something intimate.

In the study, unacquainted participants either engaged in back-and-forth self-disclosure or took turns self-disclosing for 12 minutes each while the other listened.

Results showed that participants in the back-and-forth group liked each other significantly more.

As the authors write: “Although shy or socially anxious people may ask questions of the other to distract attention from themselves, our research shows that this is not a good strategy for relationship initiation. Both participants in an interaction need to disclose to generate mutual closeness and liking.”

5. Posting a close-up profile photo

bi Business Insider Business Insider

If your LinkedIn profile features an image of your face practically smushed up against the camera, you’d be wise to change it.

Research suggests that faces photographed from just 45 centimeters — about 1.5 feet — away are considered less trustworthy, attractive, and competent than faces photographed from 135 centimeters, about 4.5 feet, away.

6. Hiding your emotions

emotions Andy Morales Andy Morales

Research suggests that letting your real feelings come through is a better strategy for getting people to like you than bottling it all up.

In one study, researchers videotaped people watching the fake-orgasm scene from the movie “When Harry Met Sally” and a sad scene from the movie “The Champ”. In some cases, the actors were instructed to react naturally; in another they were instructed to suppress their emotions.

College students then watched the four versions of the videos. Researchers measured how much the students would be interested in befriending the people in the videos, as well as their assessments of the personalities of the people in the videos.

Results showed that suppressors were judged less likeable — as well as less extroverted and agreeable — than people who emoted naturally.

It probably goes back to that idea of reciprocation. The researchers write: “People… do not pursue close relationships indiscriminately — they probably look for people who are likely to reciprocate their investments. So when perceivers detect that someone is hiding their emotions, they may interpret that as a disinterest in the things that emotional expression facilitates — closeness, social support, and interpersonal coordination.”

7. Acting too nice

toonice

You might think you’ll win people over by acting altruistic, but science suggests otherwise.

In a 2010 study, researchers at Washington State University gave college students points that they could keep or redeem for meal-service vouchers. Participants were told that they were playing in groups of five — even though four of them were manipulations by the researchers — and were told that giving up points would boost the group’s chance of getting a monetary reward.

Some of the “fake” participants would give up lots of points and only take a few vouchers. As it turns out, most participants said they wouldn’t want to work with their unselfish teammate again.

Some participants said the unselfish teammate made them look bad; others suspected they had ulterior motives.

The real-world implication here is that you don’t want to be the coworker who always agrees to get pizza for the meeting or fix the printer when it’s jammed. Instead, it’s OK to say no sometimes, so long as you explain why you can’t commit.

8. Humblebragging

shutterstock_120200761 Shutterstock / auremar Shutterstock / auremar / auremar

To impress friends and potential employers, avoid complimenting yourself and trying to disguise it as self-criticism.

This behavior, otherwise known as “humblebragging”, could be a turn-off, according to a recent study.

In the study, college students were asked to write down how they’d answer a question about their biggest weakness in a job interview. Results showed that more than three-quarters of participants humblebragged, usually about being a perfectionist or working too hard.

Yet independent research assistants said they’d be more likely to hire the participants who were honest, and found them significantly more likeable. Those students said things like, “I’m not always the best at staying organized” and “sometimes I overreact to situations”.

Another alternative is to talk about weaknesses that don’t directly relate to the job — for example, a fear of public speaking if you’re applying for a writing position.

9. Getting too nervous

shutterstock_201024185 Shutterstock / PathDoc Shutterstock / PathDoc / PathDoc

Never let ‘em see — or smell — you sweat. Research suggests that the odour of your nervous sweat may subconsciously influence people’s judgements of your personality.

Back in 2013, researchers at the Monell Chemical Senses Center had participants watch videos of women in everyday situations, like working in an office or taking care of a child.

While watching the videos, they sniffed three kinds of sweat in a row: sweat that someone had produced while exercising, sweat produced during a stressful situation, and sweat produced during a stressful situation that had been covered up with antiperspirant.

Participants were then asked to rate the women on how competent, confident, and trustworthy they seemed.

Results showed that participants rated the women lower on all measures when they smelled the stress-induced sweat. When they smelled the stress sweat that had been covered up with antiperspirant, they rated the women more positively.

Bottom line? If you’re prone to nervous sweating, be liberal with the deodorant.

- Shana Lebowitz

Read: Four things you should do right away when you get into work everyday

Read: ‘Money can’t buy life’: The last words of 18 famous people

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    Mute Eugene Walsh
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:03 PM

    10. Or just being a wangker in general

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    Mute Beachmaster
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:06 PM

    Checking in at airport, hotel, restaurant, pub. Nobody gives a fcuk, stop it!

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    Mute DonalC
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:16 PM

    U ok hun? xx pm me

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    Mute fusha2020
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:27 PM

    Checking in to your comfy sofa or bed! Really?

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    Mute Kieran Stafford
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:49 PM

    Selfies, the beginning of the end…

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    Mute Peter Quincy Taggart
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    Nov 1st 2015, 10:56 PM

    Checking into A&E. You’re obviously not that bad!!!

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    Mute Supernova
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:07 PM

    When you were in school and someone said they didn’t study one bit, yet they got 90%+ in the test -_-

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    Mute Briain OSúilleabháin
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:20 PM

    Research has found that I’ll like whoever I want for my own reasons

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    Mute Liam Walsh
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:12 PM

    I must be hated, only have 2 friends on fb

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    Mute Niall O' Sullivan
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:17 PM

    Well at least your mother and sister like you.

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    Mute Suzie Sunshine
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:16 PM

    That’s the main thing , Niall

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    Mute Niall O' Sullivan
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:34 PM

    Too true, Suzie.

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    Mute Ron Burgundy
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    Nov 1st 2015, 7:11 PM

    Boyfriends/husbands who wish their girlfriends/wives (or vice versa) happy birthday whilst they’re on holiday via Facebook. Fu€k off ye sad backstards, probably sitting beside each other at the time.

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    Mute William Clay
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:05 PM

    11. Being a member of Fine Gael.

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    Mute Supernova
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:08 PM

    Story tellers.. ie enda Kenny.

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    Mute Suzie Sunshine
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:25 PM

    Someone constantly being politics into a conversation when that’s not the topic

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    Mute Suzie Sunshine
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:44 PM

    *bringing * !

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    Mute Matt Connolly
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:53 PM

    People who make typos.

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    Mute Suzie Sunshine
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    Nov 1st 2015, 7:30 PM

    * holding my hands up in the air *

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    Mute Carmo Vanderval
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:23 PM

    I rarely humblebrag, but when I do people think I’m too modest.

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    Mute Malcolm McCarthy
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:05 PM

    being called an ugly fecker never made my day either

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    Mute Niall O' Sullivan
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:10 PM

    You do look a bit pale though.

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    Mute Paul Radburn
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:17 PM

    Showing her your Daniel O’Donnell cd collection!

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    Mute Niall O' Sullivan
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:34 PM

    If she’s a redneck you’d be laughing though. Actually, that could be quite ingenious. You may be on to something there.

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    Mute Michael Sands
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:16 PM

    Playing them is another thing lol.

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    Mute molly coddled
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    Nov 1st 2015, 7:53 PM

    Jesus Michael that would most likely end up with a murder conviction.

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    Mute Michael Sands
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    Nov 1st 2015, 9:28 PM

    Only to certain groups in society Molly, anyone not a woman over 50 and not from Donegal lol.

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    Mute JIMINYJELIKERS
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:04 PM

    So that’s why no one likes me

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    Mute Lily
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    Nov 1st 2015, 9:04 PM

    To be honest I would say if no one likes you you are possibly an introvert and only a few will ‘Get You’ these are the friends to hold on to, a couple of good friends are way better than loads of associates.

    I’ve gone past the point of wanting people to like me, they can either except who I am or take a way in the other direction.

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    Mute windbag
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:43 PM

    Checking into a brothel would be a good one….

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    Mute Uncle Monty
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:53 PM

    *poke*

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    Mute Michael Sands
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:19 PM

    6. Hiding your emotions
    7. Acting too nice etc etc…

    So facebook friends are not friends at all, it is an excuse to collect people as friends to make it look like that you are popular to anyone who looks at your profile…

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    Mute Scorpionvenomm
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    Nov 1st 2015, 7:50 PM

    Facebook what’s that ?

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    Mute Eileen Charters
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    Nov 1st 2015, 8:55 PM

    Fakebook more like

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    Mute Michael Sands
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    Nov 1st 2015, 9:29 PM

    Like Facearse Scorpionvenomm lol.

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    Mute Michael Sands
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    Nov 1st 2015, 9:29 PM

    Kim Kadashian comes to mind there…

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    Mute Niall O' Sullivan
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:16 PM

    Body language, actual modesty too. I think I’d find it endearing if someone was nervous actually.

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    Mute Del
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:53 PM

    Do you leave the house at all?

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    Mute Niall O' Sullivan
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:57 PM

    No. I stay on here just to annoy you.

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    Mute Suzie Sunshine
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:44 PM

    Keep up the good work , Niall !

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    Mute Michael Sands
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:15 PM

    No one can have more than 150 real friends, as they say???

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    Mute Wrath of Cheney
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:15 PM

    Sharing the sonny bill Williams video, we get it he gave away his medal.

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    Mute Deborah Behan
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:31 PM

    What if I don’t want to be friends with college students?

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    Mute Tap Solny
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    Nov 1st 2015, 5:16 PM

    What about people who make lists about things you may do that make people instantly dislike you.

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    Mute Shawn Rahoon
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    Nov 1st 2015, 6:34 PM

    Love getting red thumbs then sending a link that proves you were 100% correct. They really hate you for educating them.

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    Mute Chris O Neill Cabra
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    Nov 1st 2015, 9:35 PM

    I went to my shrink about this and told him that ” I find it very difficult to be liked you fat bas*t*rd.”

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    Mute David McShite
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    Nov 1st 2015, 10:36 PM

    People who turn a statement into a question by ending the sentence with “much? ” and think they’re being clever and profound.
    Oh…. and wankors who reply to a post by doing exactly what that post is complaining about.

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    Mute ReNuadha Institute
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    Nov 2nd 2015, 11:06 AM

    Posting a listicle like this to thejournal.ie (which is supposed to be the news bit) instead of the Daily Edge (which is supposed to be the “not news” bit).

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    Mute Martello Mulligan
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    Nov 2nd 2015, 11:29 AM

    Had a work colleague who drank too much coffee. It didn’t make him jittery – just made him fart all day. Not pleasant – I can still smell his windy creations.

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    Mute Seamus McSpud
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    Dec 31st 2015, 3:58 PM

    Not having a FB account. That really pisses them off.

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    Mute Garreth Byrne
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    Nov 2nd 2015, 5:28 PM

    Picking your nose in front of others.

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