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ABOUT A WEEK ago I was asked by my friend Ciara (CMAT) to attend the RTÉ Choice awards in her place as she had touring commitments.
So while her manager Barry was concerned with preparing for the possibility of Ciara winning the big award of the night – Album of the Year – I was preparing for the debs I never had.
Gown, hair, jewellery, etc were all organised within a few days and on the day itself the only thing I was remotely worried about was making sure I looked gorgeous if Ciara won and I had to accept on her behalf. Little did I know how important my being there was on so many levels for the queer community.
The big day came along and I looked breathtaking (if I do say so myself) and we found out that she’d won album of the year.
The excitement was incredible. I’ve never met anyone quite like Ciara, and to say that she deserves this award is the understatement of the century.
The event was held at Vicar Street last week and the venue was buzzing on the night. The RTÉ Choice Music Prize always brings an air of excitement and expectation and given the awful few years we’ve all had recently, it’s great to just be out celebrating Irish music again.
Her award was announced and I accepted it on Ciara’s behalf. I feel it all went really well – I threw in a few of my own one-liners and delivered an expertly prepared and hilarious speech from Ciara herself.
The following day, I was trawling through social feeds and received love from my friends and family who gave lots of positive feedback on how fabulous I looked and how well the speech went.
I then discovered I was also getting a wave of abuse in the comments under some of the corresponding news articles on Twitter.
It began to dawn on me that this whole experience was more important than the campness of sending me out to accept an award. The articles showing me with Ciara’s award were filled with comments from the alt-right pushing their ‘trans people are just perverts looking to use women’s toilets to attack women’ and ‘drag queens are just here to groom kids’ agendas.
Articles about the award were used as an example of how ‘the left is pushing the trans agenda’ in an Irish anti-trans forum.
All of this discourse over someone simply wearing a pretty dress and accepting an award for their friend who couldn’t be there?
I shared some of the comments on my social media purely to highlight that once again any little bit of visibility the queer community has these days is being used to fuel these bizarre agendas.
What I didn’t expect was the outpouring of harrowing stories from my trans and gender-non-conforming friends. Trans friends telling me about bricks thrown at them as they walked home, queens afraid to walk up the road from one gig to the next. There is a palpable fear in my community.
There is no denying that over the past few years, there has been a significant rise in hate towards both the trans and drag communities. The trans community in particular has been the victim of significant violence.
The most recent report by the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association (ILGA-Europe) – collated from 54 countries from across the EU and the Western Balkans – found that 2022 was the most violent year for LGBTQI+ people. The rate of attacks on trans people, the number of trans people murdered (327 globally last year) and the rate of suicides have become a huge worry in recent years.
Contrary to what some misguided people believe, our community does not have it easy and is not laughing all the way to the bank on the back of some perceived ‘agenda’.
The common thread between these different communities is gender non-conformance, so any divergence from the established binary is viewed by some as perversion. It is an unfortunate reality that we continue to witness hate and discrimination towards the LGBTQ+ community, particularly towards those who identify as transgender or gender non-conforming.
In the last few months, the United States has been embroiled in a heated debate over anti-drag and trans bills, with some states proposing legislation that would restrict individuals from being in drag.
Furthermore, anti-drag bills are often based on flawed assumptions about gender and sexuality. They imply that there is a binary understanding of gender, with individuals only able to present themselves as either male or female and that any deviation from this norm is somehow harmful, immoral and a way in which to perpetrate sexual abuse.
This is a harmful and outdated way of thinking that ignores the complexity and diversity of gender and sexuality.
And if we’re going to go there on the accusations being flung at people such as me and my community online and in the real world, then it’s time we got real and had an honest look at ourselves. It’s easy to pick on a certain part of society that appears different and to ‘other’ us as the bogeymen, the ones setting out to corrupt the innocent, but as a society, we need to get real about who the sexual abusers are. If you look at official figures from the Rape Crisis Network Ireland you will see that time and time again the unfortunate truth is abuse is perpetrated by people who gain access to the family dynamic as an authority figure or family contact.
If someone wants to sexually abuse they don’t need to hide behind gender non-conformity. In reality, these arguments are simply thinly veiled attempts to suppress LGBTQ+ expression and deny individuals their right to self-expression. To me, it’s obvious that these bills are misguided, discriminatory, and ultimately harmful to the LGBTQ+ community.
For those unfamiliar with drag, it has a rich history and has been an important part of LGBTQ+ culture for decades, providing a safe space for queer individuals to express themselves and push back against societal norms that restrict gender expression.
For me, drag is a vessel to express my creativity. I grew up the weird fat queer kid not feeling like I ever belonged in any social group. It wasn’t until I found drag and the queer community that I truly felt understood and free to be myself.
Combine my irreverent sense of humour plus my love for strong and powerful women combined with a dark gothic sensibility and voila… Lavender was born.
Nine years later and I’m more in love with the art form of drag and the Irish drag community than ever. At the end of the day, we must remember that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity, regardless of their gender identity or expression. It is crucial that we work together as a society to combat these attitudes and behaviours.
Personally, I feel that a society that is more inclusive and celebrates diversity and self-expression isn’t a bad thing. I can only hope the majority share this sentiment.
Representation matters and CMAT allowing me to be on that stage in Vicar St. simply showed a proud gender non-conforming queer person looking beautiful and taking credit for an award they didn’t win!
In the face of so much hate, I know that my community is strong and this abuse won’t dull our shine. We are here to stand together, to be heard. Personally, I’m going to continue to advocate the only way I know how, with glamour and too much hairspray.
Lavender is Ireland’s most notorious glam rock queen with a penchant for all things horror and camp – a frantic fusion of Hannibal Lecter and Bea Arthur. Lavender has become a regular at The George Bar and co-host of ‘Dance to the Underground’ – Dublin’s premier queer rock’n’roll night. A skilled artist, Lavender creates jaw-dropping visuals and garments that elevate her performances and leave her audiences screaming… for more. She is currently working on a coffee table book documenting the Irish drag community due for publication in 2024. More on Instagram and Twitter.
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