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Coercive control 'If I didn’t do what he wanted me to, myself and the kids would suffer'

The government must include the offence of coercive control in the upcoming Domestic Violence Bill, writes Sharon O’Halloran.

LAST WEEK, THE Criminal Justice (Victims of Crime) Act 2017 was signed into law. For victims of domestic violence, it is a milestone piece of legislation that will help make their passage through our courts and justice system easier.

But the Act will be a completely missed opportunity to fully acknowledge the pernicious and controlling nature of domestic violence as a dangerous and always life threatening crime if the government doesn’t follow it with the inclusion of the offence of coercive control in the upcoming Domestic Violence Bill.

Sarah Hines and Alicia Brough

It’s not a coincidence that we are making this call today. 15 November marks the anniversary of the murder of four innocent victims, Sarah Hines and her friend Alicia Brough, and Sarah’s two children Reece (3) and Amy (5 months).

On 15 November 2010, they were stabbed by John Geary, Sarah’s former partner. We have worked closely with Alicia’s mother Maria Dempsey over many years and we know from her that John Geary’s behaviour that day was not spontaneous. He had a history of controlling, intimidating behaviour. That was why her daughter Alicia was living with her best friend, to help her and to support her against his threats and abuse.

Maria always contends that if John Geary’s pattern of controlling and obsessive behaviour had not been confined to a domestic setting, it may not have resulted in the murder of four people.

And Maria is right. Because in intimate partner relationships, we know that murder can be the final fatal act of an abuser’s controlling tyranny.

Years of insidious control

Domestic homicide reviews in the UK have shown that in a staggering 92% of the reviewed cases of women who were murdered, there was evidence of years and often decades of insidious control, obsession, threats, isolation and intimidation. If we had similar research here, we would probably find the same correlation. Anecdotally we already know the answer.

Coercive control describes this pattern of sustained emotional and psychological abuse of an intimate partner. It can include threats, intimidation, control and restrictions of liberty. It can also include physical and sexual violence, which are often used as tools by abusers to exert further control and fear.

As one women who worked with us for our groundbreaking Lawlessness of the Home research told us about the sexual violence she had endured for years:

If I didn’t do what he wanted me to do, myself and the kids would suffer the consequences. He’d get into really bad form and start fighting and hitting us, so I sort of went that way, just to keep me and my kids safe.

Coercive control knows no bounds

Coercive control knows no bounds. Abusers tightly control house finances, allowing women to shop with the bankcard but then taking it back, checking the restricted family groceries and punishing if there’s a penny missing.

They restrict the petrol in the car so that women can’t drive beyond a set, isolating radius. They check phone logs, text messages, insert tracking and microphone devices into mobiles.

They rule the house as tyrannies of order and routine – what time the dinner is served at, how the cutlery is set, what time the children go to bed, switching on the heat or spontaneously inviting a child’s friend to the house after school – are time-bombs for the threat of violent explosion.

And yet, coercive control is regarded as the “soft” form of domestic abuse. It doesn’t always leave bruises. It doesn’t always result in broken bones. It’s not a proper offence.

But the women we work with tell us everyday that the emotional and psychological abuse they have endured is actually the greatest threat to their physical and mental health, and their safety.

A glaring gap

So, while the enactment of the Victims of Crime Act last week is hugely welcome, we feel that there will be a glaring gap in the recognition of the most dangerous threat of domestic violence if the government continues to prevaricate on including coercive control as a specific offence in the long awaited domestic violence legislation.

If the DV Bill 2017 continues to ignore coercive control, it will completely disconnect the hanging damocles of murder for women and children from the pernicious risk factor that exists for that fatal end.

In Ireland, we have a moment in time opportunity to do the right thing – to put in place strong domestic violence legislation that really works for women and children, that responds to their lived terror, that provides them with a way to be believed, that joins the dots at last between insidious control and fatal violence.

We have started that with a strong Victims of Crime Act. But, the next step now is to ensure is that our Domestic Violence legislation is fit for purpose.

Sharon O’Halloran is CEO of SAFE Ireland, the national social change agency working to make Ireland the safest country in the world for women and children.

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    Mute Dave Hammond
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:19 PM

    it so hard being the wife of multi millionaire footballers these days..especially in the world of social media….thank heavens we still have quality journalism to keep us all informed of the dramatic distractions …i mean… events….of such national importance.

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    Mute Stevie Doran
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:35 PM

    @Dave Hammond: Rebekah’s reply was: “I can’t believe this…I’m pregnant and on holiday”

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    Mute John Considine
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:40 PM

    @Dave Hammond: The best part is we exist in a post phone-hacking world and yet the first assumption, at least by Coleen and the vast majority, is still that this information was “legitimately” obtained by the Sun…

    On a completely unrelated note, I have this inheritance money from my Botswanan Great-Aunt and I just need some help moving it into the country…

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    Mute Mark o' Leary
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:29 PM

    @John Considine: what you need is a shyster, plenty of them in Ireland.

    18
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    Mute Aonghus OReilly
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    Oct 9th 2019, 3:10 PM

    @John Considine: No way John. We most be cousins as I too have the same aunt! If you, and any other long lost cousins out there want to send me €500 each, to cover admin expenses, I’ll organise a family reunion??

    32
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    Mute lunadoran
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    Oct 9th 2019, 3:58 PM

    @Dave Hammond: the funny thing is that these stories always get waaaay more views than any others. We must be all wag fans….

    18
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    Mute Ananya Sharma
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    Oct 9th 2019, 5:28 PM

    @John Considine: Of all the African countries you could have chose you picked the least corrupt. Also your Aunt is Motswana.

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    Mute Norman Cult
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    Oct 10th 2019, 7:06 AM

    @Stevie Doran: she shouldn’t be flying if shes that heavily pregnant

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    Mute Smidgen Dublin
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:20 PM

    I had to ‘google’ who is Rebekah Vardy and despite that this is one of the best stories I’ve this year. People are calling Rooney WAGatha Christie on Twitter.

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    Mute Chewey Bacca
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:45 PM

    @Smidgen Dublin: she’s the partner of one of my key fantasy football strikers and good value goal goat Jamie Vardy. So when you read about a WAG it’s their partner who is famous. No need to google really.

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    Mute Smidgen Dublin
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:53 PM

    @Chewey Bacca: I foudn that out through google. No need to reply and explain. Really.

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    Mute Chewey Bacca
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    Oct 9th 2019, 3:08 PM

    @Smidgen Dublin: please remove yourself from google and the internet. People are commuting to pay their carbon tax reading your nonsense. Suggest you post something on the Turkey Kurds story.

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    Mute Smidgen Dublin
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    Oct 9th 2019, 3:26 PM

    @Chewey Bacca: please remove yourself from google and the internet. People are commuting to pay their carbon tax reading your nonsense. Suggest you post something on the Turkey Kurds story.

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    Mute Joe Shea
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:29 PM

    Sc#mBag Newspaper!!!!

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    Mute Michael Geraghty Bodycoach
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:45 PM

    I wasted 2 minutes of my life reading this story…

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    Mute Cowboy Paddy
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    Oct 9th 2019, 3:38 PM

    @Michael Geraghty Bodycoach:
    Really??? Now you can understand Brexit….

    23
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    Mute Cowboy Paddy
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    Oct 9th 2019, 3:35 PM

    Can’t believe the Rooney’s basement didn’t flood… I was so certain…

    I feel betrayed now…

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    Mute Aunties
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    Oct 9th 2019, 3:41 PM

    @Cowboy Paddy: hahaha same

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    Mute Bill Liffin
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:05 PM

    My American cousin once asked politely… Why do all English footballers seem thick?
    Hope he is not reading this!

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    Mute Vin
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:12 PM

    Can I suggest bikini mud wrestling? No.

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    Mute shellakybooky
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    Oct 9th 2019, 10:42 PM

    @Vin: solves everything!

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    Mute Alan Brazil
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:45 PM

    This is not sports news, must be a slow day, this belongs in the gossip page

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    Mute David Clarke
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:18 PM

    Chat s**t, get banged

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    Mute 2thFairy
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:27 PM

    Classy.

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    Mute Gowon Geter
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:35 PM

    Oh I put stuff online and somehow other people saw it . I wonder how duh !!

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    Mute Jonny
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:50 PM

    Why is this thrash even news Jesus wept, keep this for glossy women’s mags, mainstream media outlets are becoming progressively worse all the time, there was a time when nonsense like this would have been frowned upon now the dumbed down generation lap it up.. Sad

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    Mute David
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:46 PM

    @Jonny: or you could always just mind your own business.

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    Mute Thunder Snowman
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    Oct 9th 2019, 8:37 PM

    @Jonny: Yet it’s at the top of the most popular stories clicked on.

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    Mute Jonny
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    Oct 10th 2019, 11:11 AM

    @David: there’s always one.. Dear me

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    Mute Jonny
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    Oct 10th 2019, 11:12 AM

    @Thunder Snowman: yeah women and millenials

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    Mute Fergus O'Connor
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:23 PM

    Self proclaimed Liverpool fan selling stories to the S#n. Disgusting.

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    Mute Jodi
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    Oct 10th 2019, 9:09 AM

    @Fergus O’Connor: You are assuming she did it, and that she wasn’t hacked. No true Liverpudlian would deal with the Sun, even if she detested Rooney, which it doesn’t seem like she does…

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    Mute Paul Shepherd
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:39 PM

    Who gives a s*it?!!

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    Mute Noel O Sullivan
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    Oct 9th 2019, 4:14 PM

    Mrs vardy has said that she did not need the money which sounds plausible enough but the sun may have had info on her. The sun and its readers are the bad guys here

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    Mute Shameless McFly™
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    Oct 9th 2019, 6:10 PM

    @Noel O Sullivan: nail on the head. The sh*trag wouldn’t exist if the knuckledraggers didn’t buy it. That’s who I blame.

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    Mute Seriously stunned
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:53 PM

    Rebekah if its any consolation you are my no strings.

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    Mute Martin
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:39 PM

    #Dontbuythesun #totaleclipseofthesun

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    Mute Brysonpieters
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:52 PM

    2 clowns

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    Mute Aunties
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:21 PM

    I think I’ll take Vardy out of my Fantasy football team now . And he great fixtures coming up…. flip

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    Mute Gerry Campbell
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:09 PM

    Cute move ,i like it….

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    Mute Kieran Stafford
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:27 PM

    Rebekah Vardy should ask for an extension on the friendship like Boris

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    Mute Green Lentils
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:18 PM

    How about learning some decorum and not sharing anything on any digital medium and keeping your cake hole shut about your short and pathetic life, love.

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    Mute Marty from Sligo
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    Oct 9th 2019, 1:43 PM

    You have to be careful how you speak and treat your family and friends. I heard of relatives and friends that dont speak after years of friendship.

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    Mute Alan McDonald
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:59 PM

    Wealthy women gasbagging. News.

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    Mute Thefallguy
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    Oct 9th 2019, 3:56 PM

    When I seen John Duggan retweet it, I taught to myself. Is this where we’re at now!!

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    Mute Ken MacEoin
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:44 PM

    Conal thomas. Get a real job man. This has nothing to do with sport. You’re a very sad man

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    Mute dick dastardly
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    Oct 9th 2019, 6:11 PM

    A battle of their fake t*ts will sort this out.rooney playing around again

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    Mute Briscoe Sundara
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    Oct 9th 2019, 6:39 PM

    It must be great to have the time

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    Mute Jason Fogarty
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    Oct 9th 2019, 10:12 PM

    It’s funny if you go through the female sports articles on the 42 there’s zero comments in the comments section but two wags fighting and the comments section goes into melt down lol

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    Mute Suzanne Bell
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    Oct 11th 2019, 7:34 AM

    @Jason Fogarty: and the funnier thing is, the majority of comments are from men

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    Mute Jason Fogarty
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    Oct 11th 2019, 7:51 AM

    @Suzanne Bell: I know they should be ashamed for bringing themselves into disrepute lol

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    Mute Ian Hoey
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    Oct 9th 2019, 5:55 PM

    Who is Coleen Rooney??
    #buythesun

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    Mute Rob Kennedy
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    Oct 9th 2019, 7:26 PM

    This will send Wayne over the edge….any granny hookers in the vicinity are in the crosshairs.

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    Mute sinead foley-coleman
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    Oct 9th 2019, 7:23 PM

    Maybe Boris could mediate for them… he’s mighty at negotiating

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    Mute Ian Hoey
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    Oct 9th 2019, 5:54 PM

    Who is Colleen Rooney??
    #buythesun

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    Mute Noel Kelleher
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    Oct 9th 2019, 2:39 PM

    I don’t blame anyone only you Conal .. RUBBISH ..

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    Mute Roy O' Brien
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    Oct 10th 2019, 9:16 AM

    She is no friend

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    Mute Martin Quinn
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    Oct 9th 2019, 10:10 PM

    To the 42 ::what the hell is this doing on the 42::you are about “”SPORT “” not this sh#t for GOD sack have some pride for your NAME

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    Mute Richard Carroll
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    Oct 10th 2019, 1:31 PM

    Coleen Rooney better have all her ducks in a row, otherwise she may will be on the receiving end of a Libel action me thinks.

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    Mute Aaron Jones
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    Oct 10th 2019, 10:43 AM

    I honestly couldn’t give a s##t,when your famous and have a social media account your private life is over,plus without having proper prove Coleen could be sued for slander etc!

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