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‘Often when a child contacts us, all we hear is quiet sobs’

Sarah Hughes, a Childline volunteer, says some children are trapped in abusive homes during Covid-19.

LIFE AS WE know it has changed for all of us over the past few weeks. Some children and young people now feel they have no escape.

On Thursday 12 March, the day Taoiseach Leo Varadkar announced that schools across the country would close, those of us who volunteer to listen to children and young people with Childline braced ourselves for the weeks ahead.

We know that difficulties often intensify for children and young people when they do not have the safe refuge of school. This is the place they learn, meet their friends and often where they eat and receive support too. With little warning, all of this was gone.

We in Childline expected an increase in demand for our service – but not to the extent which has been experienced.

In that first week alone, we noted that visits to the Childline.ie site increased by a fifth, there was a 19.8% increase in text engagements, an increase of 8.9% in phone calls and a rise of 4.6% in online chats. Volunteers rallied to ensure the children’s calls for help would not go unanswered.

Our contacts have continued to rise throughout this time – with many choosing to engage with Childline online, where they do not need to fear being overheard. In the month of March, the Childline service noted a 25% increase in children and young people reaching out to us for support online.

Abuse, magnified

Abuse in the home has not stopped on account of the pandemic. With all members of households asked to stay in one place together, tensions, stress and difficulties which often bubble under the surface have begun to show like never before. There is no end to this time in sight. Last week, I answered a call to Childline from a little girl who desperately wished to go back to school.

It is where she feels safe, she told me. It is where she can escape from the screaming at home. It is one place where she knows she won’t be hurt.

It can feel challenging to help her feel safe when no-one knows when she will be able to see her teachers and friends again. As I complete my volunteer shifts with Childline now I have one thing in mind. We’re grown-ups. We understand the world better than young people. Imagine how scary this might feel for a child?

Often when a child first makes contact with Childline, all we hear is silence or quiet sobs. We remind them that we are here for them no matter what – whether or not they are ready to voice how they are really feeling.

We are here for children regardless of what might be on their mind and it’s important that children and young people know this. They can access support for anything today – there is no need for a child to wait until they feel overwhelmed or unable to cope.

The contacts that strike me most are those coming from children who begin by apologising for reaching out for support. ‘I’m sure there are people with way bigger problems than mine’, they might say.

Building resilience

Some of those who make contact tell us about worries that may seem insurmountable to a child – and many tell us about worries that are just unimaginable. Regardless of what might be on their mind, we empower them to be resilient, so as to help them cope with the challenges life may have in store.

My fellow volunteers and I are acutely aware that some children and young people turn to the service because they maybe don’t feel ready or don’t know how to talk about what’s on their mind with a parent or another family member. Uncertainty about their gender or sexuality, for example, might loom large in their minds. They can talk to Childline anonymously, without judgement. In many cases, this might be the first step on the way towards feeling their own personal sense of freedom.

This is an anxious time for parents and carers too – it is a new set of circumstances for us all. Parents and carers may now feel they have to juggle working, educating and parenting all at once.

To me, the most important thing for us all to do right now is to follow the guidance of health officials and mind our mental and emotional wellbeing. It is important that children know they can talk about how they are really feeling, but it is also important that parents and carers know they can access support too.

Talking really does make us stronger. In addition to providing Childline for children and young people, the ISPCC is providing information and guidance to parents and carers every day through its Support Line service.

Details of the service we provide to parents can be found at ispcc.ie/ispcc-support-line. Everyone deserves help during these challenging times.

Help is here

Childline is here for every child and young person, 24 hours a day, every day – no matter what. Yet, we can’t take our existence for granted. We are almost entirely indebted to the public’s generosity, that’s what helps us operate. We can only continue to be here if funds continue to come in.

We rely on public donations for 90% of the charity’s funding. Our contacts are increasing and many of the fundraising endeavours on which Childline depends, such as community events and collections, cannot go ahead.
We are now appealing for support. Please help to keep us listening. Please help us let children know they matter. I have pledged to complete a mini-marathon a day for Childline and would love to have your support. You can follow my progress here.

To donate to Childline today, see www.ispcc.ie/donate-now. Alternatively, text CHILDHOOD to 50300 to donate €4. ISPCC Childline receives minimum €3.60. Service Provider: LIKECHARITY.

Any child or young person (up to the age of 18) in Ireland can contact Childline:

  • Call: 1800 66 66 66 (24 hours)
  • Chat online: Childline.ie (10am – 4am)
  • Text: 50101 (10am – 4am)

Sarah Hughes has volunteered with Childline for the past 10 years. She is based in Dublin and volunteers at the Childline unit in the city. When not volunteering with Childline, Sarah works as Mental Health Programme Manager with the Union of Students in Ireland (USI). 

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    Mute Deborah Blacoe
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    Apr 24th 2020, 7:10 PM

    I feel both respect and immense sadness for the volunteers who do this work. How to you reassure an innocent child that they will be ok when you really cannot promise that to them? The pain of hearing a child sobbing, unable to voice their fears is not for the faint hearted. And for the children? They are so vulnerable, it is hard to imagine what their worlds are like in the present circumstances. I hope that they will be okay.

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    Mute Nikolina Fiume
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    Apr 24th 2020, 9:06 PM

    @Deborah Blacoe: I couldn’t do it. Its too hard for me to even think about it.

    45
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    Mute Sylvia O'Regan
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    Apr 25th 2020, 11:18 AM

    @Deborah Blacoe: It’s our fault. Children wouldn’t need childline if the monsters who hurt them were locked up. We are far too tolerant.

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    Mute Deborah Blacoe
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    Apr 25th 2020, 4:17 PM

    @Sylvia O’Regan: No. I’m sorry Sylvia. I can’t agree. There is no tolerance for those who hurt children. It just a matter that a lot of it is unreported/undetected/unknown. Historically, yes, we have a lot of child abuse issues which are hard to process through the courts because of the time which has passed since the crimes took place.

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    Mute Sylvia O'Regan
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    Apr 25th 2020, 7:33 PM

    @Deborah Blacoe: Childline seems to be detecting a lot of it…

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    Mute Deborah Blacoe
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    Apr 27th 2020, 9:07 PM

    @Sylvia O’Regan: Childline are not detectives. They are a safe voice on the end of a telephone line. Finding the culprits is a totally different thing.

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    Mute Ricky
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    Apr 24th 2020, 7:35 PM

    I remember as a 7-14 year old, waiting for my father to come home, either stumbling through the front door blind drunk or dropped off outside the house and having to pick him up from the gutter. Then sitting on the stairs listening to my mother shouting her head off and him proceeding to smash his fist on the table repeatedly. This was 30 years ago so it wasn’t on my mind to call a service like this. Wish I’d had someone to talk to at the time. So the staff here are absolutely fantastic. And I would love the opportunity to talk to a child in need and give them any bit of reassurance in whatever they are going through.

    215
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    Mute M
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    Apr 24th 2020, 7:39 PM

    That headline broke my heart. So sad how anyone can mistreat an innocent child. I just don’t get it.

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    Mute Nicola McClurg
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    Apr 24th 2020, 8:42 PM

    @M: me too. I welled up reading the headline. Breaks my heart.

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    Mute Sylvia O'Regan
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    Apr 25th 2020, 11:24 AM

    @M: Some people are just bad. We mistake them for being like us because they look superficially human. But anyone who can hurt a child without overwhelming remorse is a monster. These kinds of people destroy everything around them. If we are serious about stopping this suffering, we need to start building prisons.

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    Mute Sean O'Rourke
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    Apr 24th 2020, 7:15 PM

    The bottom line is:
    A child who is afraid at home should not be
    at home.They should be in care.

    89
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    Mute Lorraine Mac Rory
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    Apr 24th 2020, 7:47 PM

    @Sean O’Rourke: or their abuser should be removed. Care isn’t always a nice place to be for a vulnerable child.

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    Mute Pauline Gallagher
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    Apr 24th 2020, 7:39 PM

    Om my god..that is so profoundly sad.

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    Mute James Hayes
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    Apr 24th 2020, 9:18 PM

    I had to stop reading this article as I could feel my blood pressure rising. How any person can treat a innocent child with mental and physical torture just absolutely puts me over the top. I’m a father and I would die for my kids in a heart beat. I cant just get my head around it. And I agree with another person that made the comment that its the abuser should be taken from the house not a child. So anyone that works with these poor souls and have to listen to their very sad quite sobs. You are twice the person I could ever be. God bless ye.

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    Mute Bio_Man
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    Apr 24th 2020, 7:51 PM

    I question life when I read these kind of articles.

    I wish I could help all of these kids.

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    Mute John Shea Hen
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    Apr 24th 2020, 8:13 PM

    Heartbreaking. Nothing upsets me more than bad news involving kids.

    65
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