DISCOVERING THAT ONE of my daughters had an eating disorder several years ago was a devastating and frightening experience. I knew so little about the condition and an internet search left me with the certainty that if I just worked on her self-esteem then we could sort this mess out quickly and efficiently ourselves. If only!
My naivety blinded me to the complex mental health issues that bring about eating disorders in the first place, but sheer determination to pull my beloved girl from the clutches of this evil predator, as I now see it, drove me to learn as much as I could about this insidious illness. The journey we have been on for the past four years is one of heartache, despair, hope, then back to heartache and despair – but, thankfully, I feel we are now finally coming out of the woods. I say ‘coming’ as there is still no predicting if a sudden upset or unpleasant experience could tip her over the edge yet again, although she has now learned how to recognise these potentially hazardous situations and reach out for help in order to ward off a relapse.
The impact of modern living
The terrifying increase in mental health issues amongst our young people is a total tragedy. These are not just limited to eating disorders but depression, anxiety and even suicide are robbing our kids of the opportunity to realise their full potential and lead happy, fulfilled lives. The teenage years will always be filled with angst but modern living is definitely impacting on our youngsters. Many young people quite literally have no one to talk to. Life has evolved to the point that it is more and more common for the evening meal to be eaten in solitude, in front of a TV or laptop, and all-important family interaction through conversation and discussion of the day’s activities can become a thing of the past.
The economic crisis of the last few years has left many kids aware, if not fully understanding of the fact, that their parents (many of whom are single parents) are significantly more stressed than in the past, and they therefore choose not to burden them with their own issues. This creates a downward spiral where the young person runs their problems through in their head, developing worst case scenarios that could have been nipped in the bud if caught in time and other perspectives offered to the inexperienced mind.
I am lucky enough to work with a helpline, where on a daily basis I can see the benefits of offering a listening ear and a little pragmatic guidance to callers that eases their burden and lifts their spirits.
I urge parents to seek help for their children
My own experience has unleashed a passionate interest in teenage mental health and a burning desire to coach and counsel kids; to turn their spinning minds into calmer, more rational tools to equip them to develop the life skills and self-esteem required to set them on the track to adulthood.
There are many people who share my passion and I urge parents to seek help if their teen is facing any kind of a struggle; it’s no reflection on their parenting skills, just simply that sometimes a teenager can hear the same message better from an independent source. First-hand, I can tell you how frustrating it is to drive your son or daughter home from a counselling session and be told that the counsellor had said ‘exactly what you’ve been saying’… but the bottom line is they heard it when the counsellor said it!
Margaret Kennedy is member of the SHTC (Society of Holistic Therapists and Coaches) and has a burning desire to help ease the angst and release the potential in teenagers. For further information email Margaret on mags216@hotmail.com.
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