THE DOOMSDAY CLOCK may be at 89 seconds to midnight, and while I hope it never strikes its ominous hour, I’m quite sure that if a nuclear apocalypse did come to pass, the one thing that would survive apart from the cockroaches is head lice.

The parasitic insects are one of the biggest bugbears of parents up and down the country who dread their arrival with a passion. Maybe I’m just nitpicking here, but they seem to be worse than ever these days, bordering on almost indestructible.

It’s impossible not to start scratching at the very mention of them, either. I’m willing to guess you’re scratching your head as you read this right now, aren’t you? You just can’t help it. It’s like an ingrained Pavlov’s Dog-type response to the mere mention of the little feckers we all know and loathe.

A head louse full of fresh human blood. Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo

It’s the thoughts of the creatures living large on my scalp that give me the shivers because, like most people, I can remember having nits as a child and still feeling repulsed to this day. As a young girl with long hair in a class of other girls with long hair, the rumours and counter rumours, would spread once the outbreak had begun.

‘They only like greasy hair!’

‘No, they only like clean hair!’

No one could agree. The only thing we all knew was that they liked hair, and none of us wanted to have the feared bowl haircut as a last resort to deal with the infestation. Back in the mid-90s, the cure was the good old-fashioned metal comb, followed by a highly toxic feeling chemical concoction slapped on your head, which smelled as if it might be dissolving your hair and scalp, as well as the nits themselves.

Turbo nits

Harsh as it was, it worked. I only remember getting nits once, and I don’t remember them being as systemic as they seem to be today. These days the little buggers seem to be harder to get rid of and come back not just with a vengeance but like the title of an Arnie movie, they return with the vibe of ‘this time it’s personal.’

Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo

So what’s really going on? Are nits immune to chemicals? Are we not using treatments correctly these days?

“There does seem to be a lack of information about how common head lice are,” says Pharmacist and host of the Wondercare Podcast Sheena Mitchell. They also don’t discriminate between clean or unclean hair, she assures, “a scalp is a scalp to head lice, clean or dirty.”

According to the experts, head lice can indeed be immune to some over-the-counter treatments, but the main issue is complacency.

“People need to be doing regular checks,” says Principal of St Patrick’s National School in Greystones, Rachel Harper, who knows a thing or two about head lice. “Prevention is better than cure,” she insists. “We would quite regularly send out emails to the whole school just as part of homework — please check your child’s hair for nits tonight. And I think if schools keep doing that as a whole, that’s a really big way of trying to reduce the amount of nits.”

The eternal battle

The life cycle of the nits can also be a bit of a head-scratcher. When you eliminate live head lice with a treatment, unhatched eggs can be left behind, which is why reinfestation is common.

“They could be there for four to six weeks before you get any itching,” Sheena adds. Plus, itching doesn’t always mean there is an infestation,” she adds. “The only way to be sure is to find a live head lice on your child’s scalp.”

One monkey searches for head lice in another. Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo

With regular checks not being done anymore and an overreliance on so-called one-dose over-the-counter treatments, it’s no wonder nits are living large on the scalps of our kids.

For parents currently in the thick of it, Sheena Mitchell insists you’ve got to be fastidious. “You systematically work through small sections of your child’s hair using a comb, and it’s really important that every section of the scalp is thoroughly worked through.”

With so much entailed in battling the little buggers, it’s no surprise that dedicated nit clinics have sprung up to tackle the problem head on. But parents are also levelling up their at-home responses. One mum of two girls, who was sick to death of the merry-go-round of nits told me recently, that she’d bought a high-tech style LED head magnifying visor, the likes of which would not be out of place on the head of a brain surgeon in the OR.

One mother went to war with nits, buying an LED 'head magnifier'. Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo

“I was so fed-up last year I even invested in this contraption, but it’s been a game-changer,” she laughs. “You have all these different settings you put on it, it has a light, and you can go scorched earth on the child’s head getting rid of them!”

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Don’t knock it until you try it because every parent fears an outbreak of the little feckers and the dreaded text message which follows from the school — “There’s been a case of head lice reported in the class. Please check your child and treat accordingly.”

Who hasn’t died a little inside when they receive that message at work and immediately start scratching their head in a meeting? Worse still is when you receive the message more than once because, for whatever reason, treatment for someone in the class has not been successful and the cycle begins again. It’s at that exact moment you consider reaching for the clippers and doing a Britney on the whole family.

Parenting challenges

As a mum to two young boys, I’ve had the aforementioned text message many times on and off, mainly in the crèche years. However, and I don’t really want to say this out loud, fearing the universe is waiting and watching for its moment to strike and do a nit’s version of Macbeth on me, but so far, we have avoided the ‘you know what’s.’

Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo

Now we’ve had most of the other weird and unpleasant childhood things, it must be said– hand, foot, and mouth, slapped cheek syndrome, ringworm and so on. It could simply be down to luck. It could simply be because with boys, I’m dealing with shorter hair. Or it could be the fact that I spray them in hazmat levels of head lice preventer every single morning before they step foot outside the door.

French plaits are an excellent way to repel nits. Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo

Despite there being no concrete evidence that such sprays work, I still deploy it like I’m dusting crops. Be it school, sports, play centres, basically anywhere they will be in contact with other kids, they get sprayed.

Whatever the reason, I still live in fear that we will not escape the itchy and scratchy show. If you’re dealing with nits, firstly, my sympathies and more importantly, here are some top tips for at-home treatment. According to the HSE, the old-fashioned ritual of using a fine-tooth comb is the best course of action and your first line of defence.

Other tips to help you along:

• Use the comb on wet or dry hair, but it usually works best on wet hair with conditioner
• Comb the whole head of hair from the roots to the ends
• Be sure to repeat the process every few days for at least a couple of weeks
• If that doesn’t work, ask your pharmacist for a medicated lotion or spray, follow the directions to the letter and use it in tandem with combing
• Change and wash bed linen regularly to prevent re-infection
• Continue to carry out regular checks until the infestation is gone.

And that may take some time. Good luck!

Niamh O’Reilly is a freelance writer and wrangler of two small boys, who is winging her way through motherhood, her forties and her eyeliner.