IT IS TRUE to say that progress in equality legislation has, on paper, made being LGBTQIA+ in Ireland appear to be an easier place to be in 2024.

However, as with any minority movement, the reality of being a member of a minority group can take decades for the sense of being equal to filter down into everyday life – just ask members of the Feminist, Disability, Traveller and Black Lives Matter movements.

I regularly hear people say that “All is grand for the Gays, since the Marriage Equality Referendum” and while this was a huge step forward, the reality is that many LGBTQIA+ people still struggle with self-acceptance or of feeling the acceptance of society and their loved ones.

According to the BelongTo’s ‘Being LGBTQI+ Report for 2024′, approx. 30% of Lesbian, Gay and Bi members reported feeling severely depressed, anxious and stressed. Over 50% had self-harmed, while 64% were reported to have had suicidal thoughts and 26% had made an attempt on their life.

For the Trans and gender non-conforming community, these statistics rise dramatically to approx. 50% being severely depressed, anxious and stressed, with 75% having self-harmed. While 82% reported having suicidal thoughts and 39% have made an attempt on their life. 

Approximately 50% of LGBTQIA+ people across all ages report issues around food and eating disorders and are about three times more likely than their peers to miss or skip school which will affect their education and development. 

These stark figures show that “All is not grand for the Gays.”

The reasons for such levels of distress are varied, with the perception of shame forming a substantial portion of the challenges for community members. The rise of the far-right movement has played a part in delaying the progress of self-acceptance for young people who are in the process of discovering their sexual and gender identities. Having to absorb social-media hatred of one’s identity has a really negative impact on the process of coming out.

Bullying  

The rise in the experience of bullying, family rejection and hate-motivated violence against the LGBTQIA+ community is up from 11% in 2019, to 14% in 2023, according to a EU Wide report and this has sparked fear among the community around coming out.

We have seen a move away from the freedoms of public expression of one’s sexual/gender identity that we witnessed following the Marriage Equality Referendum in 2015. The real fear of violence on the streets from far-right agitators has pushed progress back for the community in terms of feeling safe to hold hands or embrace a loved one in public – which are everyday and unremarkable events for heterosexual couples. 

The failure of Social Media Platforms to police the rise in hate-speech, misinformation, and dehumanising of the LGBTQIA+ community has further caused confusion, self-loathing and internalised homophobia or transphobia among some community members.

It is now a really good time for all of society to rally behind their LGBTQIA+ loved ones and to show your support and help to rebalance the inequalities that we are facing as a community and to reassure your rainbow family and friends that the far right does not control the narrative for the majority.

Become an ally

If you have a loved one in your circle who identifies as being part of the rainbow community, please reach out and let them know you love and support them.
LGBTQIA+ people in your family and friend/colleague circles will need to know that you are “in their corner” and you can do this by dropping into conversation your supportive views, going to some Pride events, displaying a rainbow flag on your social media platforms and campaigning for equal rights.

Young people (and indeed all ages) coming out need to have someone in their circles to confide in to support them through the process and through your subtle (and not-so-subtle) claims of support, you can be the Trusted Person that they can safely turn to.

If someone comes out to you, reassure them of your support and confidentiality. Encourage them to tell their family and friends (if it is safe to do so) and check in with them regularly to see how they are doing. Remind them that they are not alone on this journey. 

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Direct them to the helplines and support groups listed below, and offer to go with them (at least initially) to any of the supports they may wish to try out.

Schools can help by having inclusive policies that ensure support and safety for their LGBTQIA+ students and include LGBTQIA+ representation in RSE and all curriculum delivery to ensure students feel valued and respected for who they are. Schools could organise Pride events, establish a “Rainbow and Allies Club” and take part in the BelongTo “Stand-Up for LGBTQIA+/Allies Week.”

Companies, Sports & Social Clubs, Societies and Organisations can provide support through having clear anti-discrimination policies which create safe and inclusive spaces for all members. They may also consider taking part in Pride Events and arrange equality, diversity and inclusion training for leaders to ensure they effectively combat homophobic and transphobic prejudice and highlight relatable and inspiring role models within their field of interest.

BelongTo has some great resources for people who are coming out and for their parents/family. TENI has great resources for Transgender people. All LGBTQIA+ Supports can be found on www.lgbt.ie or call their helpline at 1800-929-539.
Talking to an IACP accredited therapist is also a great place to start if you or someone you know needs support in this area and you can find a therapist near you on the IACP Find a Therapist Tool at www.iacp.ie.

Michael Ryan MIACP (He/Him) – (www.peaceofmind.ie )  is a Counsellor/Psychotherapist who works with the LGBTQIA+ community. He is a member of The Irish Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy  (www.iacp.ie).