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Stephen Byrne is a 28-year-old radio and television presenter, currently with 2FM, who began working in media during at the start of his Leaving Cert year of 2008. Last year he went back on a personal mission to do the state exams again, to prove something about the system, himself and Ireland’s youth.
SOMETIMES IT’S NECESSARY to go back to find out who you were to find out who you are right now.
When people heard that I was doing the Leaving Cert again this year for a documentary, the reactions varied – but the one thing that remained consistent was that everyone always brought it back to themselves and their own experiences.
‘I would never do that, it was hell for me,’ or ‘I still have recurring nightmares of my Maths Paper One.’
The Leaving Cert is strange in the sense that it is something we all experience, and yet it’s something that we all seem to try to repress.
I tried so hard that I never even opened by first results… but we’ll get back to that in a minute.
I’ve always been a big believer in facing your fears to get them under control, even at the expense of other people’s opinions.
I had a crippling fear of heights.
Even an easy journey traversing across the mammoth peaks of Dun Laoghaire shopping centre’s second floor would turn my legs into a substance only consistent with the jelly my nan insisted on serving us with custard every time we visited her.
So I went on multiple skydives.
I spent the first few years of my life living in Australia in constant unease that behind every cupboard, or underneath every toilet seat was a snake trying to plot my demise. So I bought a pet snake. Her name is Miss Hiss, you’d love her.
So why did the Leaving Cert carry so much haunting memories for me personally?
I spent that year living in fear of who people thought I was and who I didn’t want to be.
I came out about a month before the exams and made life very difficult for my incredible parents. I was angry – angry that I was gay and angry that I didn’t have any true friends. I just wanted to run away.
It’s a time that myself and my parents have locked in the past and never really spoken about. For me, because I was deeply ashamed for so long and, for them, because they never wanted to re-live that stress that I caused them with the anger I held, and how much they worried about me.
It’s often easy to ignore pain, but every wound needs to be healed… leaving it too long only causes more infection.
In the same way, in August 2009, I ran home and shredded my Leaving Cert results because I didn’t want to have to face where that anger had left me standing.
There was nothing in that envelope I didn’t already know about my application and I was so afraid it would make me define parts of who I was. As the years went on and my career progressed, it became somewhat of a novelty to others that I’d never touched them but to me that year followed me around like a ghost waiting to be laid to rest.
I knew it was the right time to go back last year but not for the reasons others believed.
A free schedule and a sound mind would probably have been an attractive time to begin but I had neither.
For a multitude of reasons, last year was, again, incredibly tough. I had lost an enormous amount of trust, love and motivation within myself and as hard as I tried it wouldn’t shake.
I could only relate the feeling to one other time in my life and that was 2009, that year we’d all locked away.
I went back to understand myself, to destroy the barrier I had put up that separated my adolescence and adulthood, to put myself through hell in hope that on the other side I could find confidence in myself again.
I was afraid to tell anyone how I was truly feeling because they might say I wasn’t fit to complete the task ahead but, in my mind, I was more equipped than anyone.
Students all across this country are struggling with the simple act of getting out of bed in the morning, the pressures of leading a perfect existence inflicted by a mosaic of distorted lives projected constantly across their scrolling eyes.
They’re creating two minds running parallel, one trying to understand De Moivre’s theorem, the other trying to understand who they are, and what they want from the world.
To talk about what I’ve learned from the year that’s gone is very difficult, do you want facts or do you want observations?
I can tell you everything you don’t need to know about the Paris Basin, or maybe how the youth of this country are something we should all take immense pride in?
They’re progressive, emotionally intelligent and yet living in a world with so many more social pressures than many of us had before.
They live in fear of failing, disappointing themselves and their parents.
Surely they have enough to weigh themselves down already; seriously, you should feel the weight of my school bag.
Anyway, I better go, it’s nearly October and I still haven’t got anything to wear for my debs…
Leaving Again airs tonight, 20 September at 10.15pm on RTÉ One. It is Byrne’s second documentary for RTÉ, previously tackling the issue of homophobia in football.
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The Tubridy pay scandal explained,,, answer ,, they where caught out …simply
@david finglas: I wonder will U2 ask for the bike back!
@david finglas: im sure its just a big misunderstanding.the money was only resting in tubridys account.
Anyone know where John Delaney is nowadays?
@Popcorn Sutton: you mean the very bright red lad?
@Jack Cronin: With family I’d imagine since his father passed away a few days ago.
@Jack Cronin:
He’s not eating at a chip van in Killarney .. that’s for sure
Some people are saying that it is not Ryan’s fault that RTE under reported the money but he knew it was under reported and said as much. It’s about integrity. He is the main star on the national broadcaster that is paid for mostly by a tax. Its not ok for him to adopt the head down don’t ask don’t tell if no one finds out it’s grand attitude. I’m angry over the deception and lack of integrity and to be honest pure greed. It’s public money and they need to be accountable and act with integrity at all times, not let’s see what we can get away with.
What about the Siun bird forgetting about giving Deirdre ”Dee” the temporary P45 the day before the Rte interview..Poor Auld Ryan forgetting to tell them that he was up 75 grand in the wages every year..Wild amount of forgetfulness in that outfit.
Of course he knew, go on outta that. No getting away from it Ryan, you were caught be de bollix.
RTE board for sacking asap
Stop paying the TV tax.
Oh wait, Tubridy has apologised unreservedly.
These are scary words when you hear them from the Irish elite. It means there’s nothing more to see here, now the peasant population should go back to they’re jobs.
@Jack Cronin: And be quick about it or suffer the consequences, we will tax you more, raise petrol prices, keep utilities high and fine you if you don’t get a licence.
@Jack Cronin: love island next year. TV3. He’ll put the boot in, new book.
@Jack Cronin:
there is more coming ..
Seeing as we’re FINALLY acknowledging that RTÉ has undone all its goodwill, let’s take a second look at Claire Byrne broadcasting live from her Potemkin isolation shed in her back garden soundstage, along with all the little “hush-hush” get-togethers RTÉ staff had during the lockdown. Never forget what these people did.
The rich get richer.
I wish I was paid so much I didn’t notice an extra €75,000 in my bank account.
Get rid of the licence fee and make RTE a pay per view station. Lets see how much money they make then with all their high quality productions .
Mr Tubridy, you have obviously seen the figures published by RTE and knew they were not accurate, so why did you not call it out???
If RTE was a private business it would have been liquidated!
@Neil Harvey:
Mr Tubridy, you obviously saw Gerry Ryan and knew he was doping, so why did you not call it out???
Ireland is a laugh, it has to be said..
I reckon tubbers still has a better chance of beating bertie to the aras, unless jedward enter the race then it’s anyones guess
@david finglas: the Monk has a better chance than Bertie.
@Brian Farrell: yeah that really makes sence both of em don’t have bank accounts
@david finglas: yes they do.
@Brian Farrell: I would certainly believe Bertie would have had a bank account, which in turn means the banks covered that up!!
@Brian Farrell: As professional criminals they learned the lessons of having a bank account. One did as a living the other used the ballot box.
Theatre, lets all ignore the proposed hate speech laws, the push for NATO, unlimited unvetted immigration, the sustained attack on rural life/ family and the rotten government and its supposed ‘opposition’.
What else has been going on?
Should we have a referendum on TV license?
@tommy: Yes Tommy We Should. The Public should demand it. But the Greedy politicians Won’t agree to it, they know RTE would have to go behind a pay wall and would lose millions in revenue because of the Absolute Rubbish they produce.
@Mick Hanna:
this week for example what RTE are giving us
crimecall tonight
prime time tomorrow night
mrs browns boys d’movie wednesday night
horrible bosses 2 thursday night
argo friday night
the only decent thing i can recommend is a film saturday night
its called THE PROGRAM , its about lance armstrong
How quickly you can go from Saint to Sinner
I think it’s fair to assume and say the golden cow is starting to crumble around their ears. Be the top salaries worth it or not that’s another debate but the coffin lid already has many nails in it.
Who was the intermediary working on the barter account?
@Brendan Devlin: Not sure, but the fact RTE paid 80K fees to transfer 150K to Tubridy, reeks of wrongdoing.
Need to say Tubridy isn’t in the wrong. If your employer pays you more than you think, what would you do ? It’s the employer not the employee who is at fault
@Ciaran: Someone lodges money into your account by mistake. Does it make it yours. No. It belongs to someone. You have a moral duty to give it back. Spend it and it’s theft. Same with Tubs, Whether he knew about it or not it didn’t belong to him.
@Ciaran: couldn’t agree more
@Dave Barrett: of course it belonged to him. It wasn’t a mistake. RTE made a deal with Renault to pay him a certain amount for appearances or whatever the promotional work was for 3 years. RTE messed up by taking on the guarantee for 3 years themselves (Renault pulled out after 1 year but RTE continued to honour the deal).
If you make a contract with someone, you have to honour it. They did, but they were shady about. RTE 100% at fault on this one.
@Ciaran: hmm ain’t a regular employee and employee though / RTE are funded by the people / they were repeatedly asking for increases in funding ( increase the license fee) because they can’t efficiently manage their business / then they tried to say they needed staff to accept cuts and they were making cuts to their top stars. They said this in front of Public Accounts committee ffs / and the numbers being reported were hundreds of thousands more than they were reporting / Ryan knew this was incorrect and that’s why he apologised today for not speaking out / so with respect he has to own his share of the blame regardless of employee / employee relations. They have a huge hill to climb now getting public to agree to pay more increases / just watch what happens payment levels !
@Ciaran: not really more than he thought though is it ciaran? He knew what he was meant to get as he had to do a certain amount of appearances for Renault to honour the contract. He couldn’t come out and say what he was really earning as it would have affected brand Turbidy, especially when everyone else was being asked to take a pay cut
@Dave Barrett: do you not understand the issue the problem isn’t the amount but the method of payment and understating of his salary by RTE which equates to decepting the public.
FF, FG RTE, GAA just a handful of people currently in the corruption controversy to do with our current government. How long do we keep saying ‘ah but they weren’t to know”. Varadkar washing us out with immigration we can’t house. Martin putting our neutrality on the line and calling protesters a step too far. Varadkar leaking documents. Dee Forbes on the board of GAA Go while director General of RTE. Brough to answer in her final two weeks and Tubs legged it before the fire. Grow up and break the Stockholm syndrome we’re being laughed at. I can’t wait for the muppet who says remember SF in 1960.
There should be an enquiry into why some so called entertainers on RTE are paid at all and should be grateful for the free exposure as sufficient recompense , such is the lack of talent.
I wonder if the utterly talentless Darcy is getting nervous?
@David Lawlor: He hit the wrong button a few time today…Again…Even the q cards are proving no help.
Gawd, what a picture to post. I’ve never seen a picture on a news repiet of Ryan Tubridy before where he wasn’t a shiny happy person
Pay your licience so these puppets get this astorshin money.tubs miriam, duffy, to name but a few overated overpaid.Rte is not fit for its purpose nor are the bom.
That’s why I always go hungry and pay my licence fee, to keep the D4 gang afloat. It’s hideous.
Twas the Shinners what done it.
The sad thing in all of this is… public service broadcasting is taking the hit here…… We, more than ever, need a genuine public broadcasting service that is ethical, truthful, supports real news, an is a voice for minorities in our community, gives coverage to sports & arts the “big” media outlets aren’t interested in. Politicians and government need to be really firm in making those who run RTÉ stick to these principles …..Paying 40c a day is great value for this service …. but this carry on makes it very hard to make the case… The ordinary 5/8 has to be on board otherwise we’re on a very slippery slope!!!
@Gerry: I’d be amazed if the majority of television viewers did watch RTÉ. RTÉ claim that the entire population of Ireland watches RTÉ regularly in order to charge huge fees to advertisers for the allegedly captive audience. Paying for a service that people don’t watch is not a bargain, it’s extortion. And to cap it all, they put the mandatory fee up because their advertising sales went down. I have never seen them halving the licence fee because advertising revenue was up!
Don’t you see that they’re farming the amount of viewers for money? We are their income stream.
He looks very like Sean Quinn in that photo, just saying
Oliver Callan is doing a commendable job sitting in for Tubridy. The Journal seems to have searched for the most sinister photo they could find of Tubs for this article. I find that unfair.
@Ordinary Bloke:
gerry adams cheer leader
“When you know, you know” Ryan Tuberty. on leaving tLLShow .
But obviously, he didn’t know when he knew. 345.000 reason not to know.
Will there be a tribunal??
@John Farrell: Probably..only to be followed by another tribunal to investigate their report…It will then go to a committee to give a report on the findings of the two tribunals ..A couple of years later the committee will give the report to the relevant Minister. He / She will give a rousing speech and the report will gather dust for the years to come.
…..their jobs.
How far back do such arrangements go, I wonder. Will Grant Thornton investigate whether previous Late Late Show hosts had similar arrangements with 3rd party sponsors, also facilitated by RTE.
Could there be “one for everyone in the audience” ?????????
What scandal??? Country has turned into a nation of moaners and begrudgers. Cop on, this lad deserved every penny he got having to entertain a million people every morning.
@Oliveraie de Paravieille: What are you smoking, They have not legalised Mary J yet.
@Oliveraie de Paravieille: brown envelope for you love and i mean brown
@Oliveraie de Paravieille: entertain ? It’s like listening to paint dry. The man is a talentless over ambitious me feiner if he was a melted choc ice he would still lick himself
@Oliveraie de Paravieille: Never had anytime for him, sure he’ll pay it all back now?
@Oliveraie de Paravieille:
when you’re paid by the tax payers you don’t lie about it
@declan hassett:
to say he comes from a FF family is an understatement
It’s about RTE doing what always do, blowing smoke up the publics a s s. No more paying rte’s excess license fee.
@Fintan Stack: exactly, the country needs to stop paying the TV license. It’s outdated as it is before this nonsense . If it’s done on mass they can’t bring us all to court
Y
Shock, horror….
the madness
Did he pay the right tax
Somebody said it not me : ‘Ireland is too small to be a republic , and too big to be a lunatic asylum ‘.
I think we’re nicer than that though
“President Tubridy” mmm has a nice ring to it!
@Alan: After this? I’d sooner vote for the mother in law, and we never got on!
What a hypocrite. I’m so pissed off as I liked the guy from an entertainment perspective but more so loved him as i believed in his standards. Stick your MK statement Ryan,.
Fool me for once ..etc
Steps have been taken so this kind of thing won’t happen again … what a crock
What a hypocrite. I’m so pissed off as I liked the guy from an entertainment perspective but more so loved him as i believed in his standards. Stick your MK statement Ryan,.
Fool me for once .
that first photo is perfect .. shows us the real ryan tubridy
Why pay Tubridy over half a million a year? Where would he go if they decided to cut his salary by half or even two thirds? For a tiny country like ours to pay a public presenter that kind of money is laughable. The result of this must be massive and immediate cuts to the top ten highest RTE earners. At a time when we are tripping over sleeping bags up and down Grafton St….call their bluff, they have nowhere to go
Tubridy was right about one thing when he took his ‘pay cut’ “he wont be found wanting”
have your say