IT IS POSSIBLE, given this column’s dedication to covering the strangest Irish stories of the week, that we will never again get through an edition of Surrealing in the Years without mentioning the Portal.

As of Friday morning, the video-link between New York and Dublin had been severed once again. On the North Earl Street side, visitors left an RIP placard for the Portal, alongside several bouquets of funerary flowers left by some Spin 103.8 DJs. Scarcely a week old, the Portal has already seen enough action to last it a lifetime. Already, its place in the pantheon of weird Irish stuff is beyond question.

When switched off, the Portal bears a message that reads ‘Portal is asleep – back up soon,’ which is in fairness much cuter than ‘The operators of this Portal are cowards who cannot appreciate the beauty of human chaos’. That may be a little harsh, but it’s clear that the Portal people don’t know how to handle our idiosyncratic way of being. 

The Portal is a quite literal example of holding a mirror up to society. Evidently, not everybody is comfortable with the reflection. Nevertheless, one loathes to think that they might take it away permanently. Should the Portal end up consigned to the ash heap of fun things we used to have but don’t have anymore (animals on coins, the Epicurean Food Hall, Fungie, etc), one hopes that there would at least be one lone man who keeps a mooning vigil on North Earl Street, candle in hand and pants solemnly around his ankles.

LMAOOO people are laying flowers at the portal after it was closed pic.twitter.com/gOkZP42XJZ

— kira 👾 (@kirawontmiss) May 16, 2024

But, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, enough about the Portal. How about Paschal Donohoe jumping out of an airplane? This didn’t happen, but the Minister for Public Expenditure and Reform wants you to think very carefully the next time you see a photo of him. 

On Twitter (which is finally, officially, no longer Twitter) this week, Donohoe shared four fake photos which appeared to show him scuba-diving, skydiving, kayaking and playing rugby for Ireland. It was an oddly specific warning on the threat of identity fraud from the Minister for Public Expenditure and Reform, though it’s possible that Donohoe is still feeling the burn from when the times when he would hold up a blank document on Budget Day and Twitter users would photoshop whatever they wanted onto its cover. 

To anyone who has grown up on the internet, it might seem as though the images that Donohoe shared would have a hard time fooling anyone. Then again, Richard Bruton showed us all a photo of his unbelievably shredded eight-pack body during Covid and that turned out to be real, so, who really knows what to believe these days? All I know is that I deserve a pat on the back for not going the obvious route and making a joke about photoshopping a government meeting its housing targets. There’s probably also something to be done with ‘artificial intelligence’ but I’m not an easy-way-out kind of guy.

The threat of politicians being photoshopped into various Mission: Impossible scenarios is small potatoes compared to the hardship being faced by hopefuls campaigning ahead of next month’s local and European elections. The posters have hardly been ziptied a wet week and there have been multiple reports of harassment and in some cases even violence against those seeking to represent their communities.

1/2 I usually get a lot done in a day but this is ridiculous! Attended the European Anti-Financial Crime Summit this morning where @TweetIDPal are demonstrating the dangers of identity fraud, which is a very serious issue, as these FRAUDULENT images show. pic.twitter.com/FMVWln9Skw

— Paschal Donohoe (@Paschald) May 16, 2024

In one case, a swastika was carved into a poster belonging to former TD Ruth Coppinger, who is now running as a local election candidate in Castleknock. The harassment faced by would-be elected officials in Ireland is a further manifestation of a broader cultural malaise, Coppinger argued. Speaking to The Journal, the Solidarity-PBP politician said: “I know from talking to migrant workers, who’ve been living here 20 years, whose children are Irish, they are very, very frightened since the pandemic about the rise in racism. They’ve said that to me.”

In Fingal, independent councillor Tania Doyle said she feared for her life when she and her husband were attacked while postering. “We feared for our lives,” said Doyle, whose husband was on the receiving end of several blows when he stepped in to defend her. In that case, the assailant also allegedly asked Doyle to explain her views on immigration. 

These incidents signal a dark shift in the nature of Irish elections. Coming against a backdrop of sinister protests outside Leinster House, and indeed the homes of several high-profile politicians (including Paul Murphy, Roderic O’Gorman and the Taoiseach Simon Harris himself), these incidents represent a threat to many of Ireland’s most foundational political traditions.

Ireland’s prohibition on campaign ads for TV or radio heightens the importance of knocking on doors, covering every square footage of real estate in posters, and keeping an active social media presence. Similarly, ballots in Irish elections publish the address of each candidate in full. Theoretically, this makes for a system wherein politicians cannot “hide” from their constituents – which is all well and good until the constituents start vandalising election posters with swastikas. 

The harassment faced across multiple sectors of Irish society is on the verge of spiralling out of control, if it hasn’t already. As things stand, it’s easier to to believe in Paschal Donohoe crunching Eben Etzebeth on the 22-yard line of the Aviva than it is to imagine Ireland shaking off its current toxic social and political climate.