NOW THAT WE’VE all quit our jobs at 2FM, it’s time to get back to the business at hand. 

Thanks to several days of slumber, the North Earl Street Portal has finally been dislodged from the forefront of the public consciousness. The flashing incidents covered in previous editions finally brought down the wrath of the Portalmasters, with their cutting-edge technology that blurs the screen if you get too close to the Portal with intent to show it your arse. At last we’re safe. That is until somebody finds a way to commit indecent exposure at long-range. For now though, it seems as though the Portal drama has dried up, and as such we must go back to engaging with the rest of the world.

We might well all say a small prayer that one day we wake up in a world with little else to discuss beyond the new and creative ways we’ve found to circumvent the Portal’s puritanical anti-genitalia protocols. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Until then, we continue to plod along through this world. Our world. And in case you haven’t been super plugged-in for the last… while, the state of the world we inhabit is not exactly great.

Ireland’s week was marked by the announcement of the decision to formally recognise the state of Palestine, a move that has been signalled since before the events of October 7.

Alongside Norway and Spain, it was announced this week that Ireland would formally recognise the statehood of Palestine from next week on. It is perhaps worthy of more mention that the state of Palestine is already recognised by 143 other countries, including seven of Ireland’s EU allies. Indeed, to think of Ireland’s move as ahead of the curve applies only as it is graded against Israel’s most staunch allies, such as the USA, the United Kingdom and Germany.

Nevertheless, the announcement was overdue and welcomed warmly by much of the Irish public. It did, however, raise the hackles of one Tipperary TD. In the early hours of Wednesday morning, a spokesperson for the Rural Independent Group (which McGrath leads) issued a statement characterising the move as “less about integrity or belief and more about diverting attention from the real issues facing our people”. The broadside further accused the government of “a political stunt and an attempt to seek attention on the world stage”. 

Now, if you think that statement seems a little off-kilter with the overall reaction to the news, you are apparently joined in your ranks by Deputy McGrath himself. McGrath withdrew the statement a mere 12 hours after it was originally sent out at 2.19am Ireland time.

In the world of politics, draft statements being sent out before they’re ready is nothing too strange – but this was not that. A follow-up email from the spokesperson for the Rural Independent Group confirmed that the statement had been withdrawn “upon reflection and considering evolving circumstances” and asked media not to disseminate the original statement further. It also went on to say that the statement was withdrawn “not due to inaccuracies in the content, but a strategic choice made after careful consideration” – that careful consideration taking place between the hours of 2am and 2pm on Wednesday. The Journal has reached out to representatives of Mattie McGrath for comment.

Whether McGrath’s U-turn was forced by road conditions (in this case, that would be a public that overwhelmingly seems to support the recognition of Palestine) or whether the Tipp man sincerely did think better of the incendiary and strangely-timed statement will remain a mystery until McGrath decides whether or not he wants to clarify his feelings on the matter. 

McGrath has long been a source of surreality all on his own. In addition to speaking publicly in support of local anti-immigration protests, McGrath recently provoked the ire of Adam Harris, younger brother of Taoiseach Simon Harris and founder of autism charity AsIAm, for remarks made in the Dáil about autism. Speaking during a Dáil debate on special education in Ireland, McGrath questioned the prevalence of autism in Ireland, saying: “When I was going to school … we did not see these issues. There was some issues, but nothing like the amount there are now.”

In that case, McGrath did not issue a withdrawal, though he did suffer some stinging rebukes from fellow parliamentarians. Fine Gael Senator Martin Conway, who has congenital cataracts, wrote on Twitter: “For the record, @mattiemcgrathtd, you did not see children with difference in school because they were not allowed to attend or be part of society. People like me were sent to school in Dublin hidden away, people like Adam [Harris] sent to institutions. We all existed but were locked out.”

Political developments across the water fared little better this week. As has long been the case with the United Kingdom, it doesn’t seem particularly fair to point out how ridiculous they’ve become. Still, Rishi Sunak standing in the pouring rain announcing a general election to the unsolicited sounds of Things Can Only Get Better by D:Ream, does feel like… well, not a new low, exactly. Boris Johnson used to hide from reporters in fridges and Liz Truss had less longevity than a lettuce, but it’s certainly a plateau. 

It is a timely reminder of the election season bearing down upon us, and a cautionary tale about the importance of keeping absurdity at arm’s length. Friday evening (why is it always a Friday evening?) saw Micheál Martin swerving vigorously to downplay a public row with his own party’s candidate, Niall Blaney, who chose his party’s election campaign launch as the platform to express a perceived lack of support from his party on the trail. Eventually, Martin shut his own party member down by summoning some of his old schoolteacher starchiness, telling Blaney: “I’m not going to have a public discussion on the logistics of the campaign at a press conference”. You can almost smell the blackboard chalk. Alas, the discussion had already been had, and as for public, well: you’re readin’ about it, baby.

The local and European elections will be messy enough, so for dignity’s sake let’s at least have someone remind Simon Harris to pack a brolly for his own big announcement after the Dáil’s summer recess. Or just announce the bloody thing from the safety of a sheltered space. Then we can all have a nice, calm general election and everything will go back to normal. 

But if it doesn’t work out that way we can always just withdraw this column, upon reflection and evolving circumstances.