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MORE THAN EIGHT out of ten parents bought a technology-related gift for their child this year, with the most popular buys being tablets, video games and smartphones. Whether it’s smartphones or toys with interactive apps though, this year’s top Christmas presents all connect to the Internet.
Like all parents, I worry all the time about my kids and yet, while the Internet has many risks and dangers, I want my kids to be online. I want them to be respectful and enjoy it, but I also want them to be safe and responsible when they are using it.
As an online safety educator, I welcome the proposed changes to the digital age of consent and the public consultation process for one reason: it is shining a spotlight on being online.
Legislating for digital consent
The proposed change to the Digital Age of Consent legislation means that each EU country must set the age of digital consent for children somewhere between 13 and 16 years of age.
In Ireland the digital age of consent is currently set at 13 (it’s when a child can avail of Internet services) but we can decide to change this age upwards as far as 16. This change applies to any Internet service that uses personal data of minors so covers all social networks, gaming, email and apps.
Without evidence-based research that recommends what the appropriate age for digital consent should be, changing the age right now is a numerical choice. Whether the age is changed or remains at 13 the only real approach and solution to this debate is online safety education.
As a small nation with so many of the world’s leading technology companies based locally, there is a real opportunity for Ireland to set standards ensuring that children of all ages can use and enjoy the Internet in a fun, safe and responsible way.
Yes, the Government must hold Internet services accountable for upholding the law. And yes, every Internet service has a duty of care, not just to abide by the digital age of consent but they must go above and beyond that. They must provide accessible and easily understood information about their service, its safety, privacy and use (including data storage and use).
Safeguarding must begin at home
The responsibility of safeguarding our children online begins at home. We as parents and guardians are the first to place a device in the hands of our children so we have to educate ourselves to enable us to support, guide and protect our children online.
Here are some realities to consider. All sorts of data can be collected by an Internet service about your child, including name, age, DOB, address, current location, photos, chat history, fingerprints, voice recognition and physical attributes. No service forces you or your child to use their service so we need to do our homework first before engaging with anything new.
According to French privacy laws, parents posting images of their children online could face a fine of up to €45,000 for breaching their child’s privacy or endangering their security online. And a recent ParentZone survey in the UK found that parents post an average of 1500 images of their children online before their child reaches the age of 5. That’s about 25 images a month.
Do parents have the right to post images of their children online? Young people take their online reputation very seriously and this is a topic for discussion at all ages, not just among the young.
Parents unaware of the minimum age to be on social networks
Children under 13 are already online. They are faking their age to gain access to services that they want to use. This is a fact. So much more needs to be done by service providers everywhere to tackle this issue of underage use.
Online age verification solutions are being developed around the world, yet I struggle to see how they can be 100% effective. Aside from the cost of implementing this across the Internet, how would it be enforced?
Kids are smart. They will outwit any system
Young people are creators of technology and we already have inspiring young Irish entrepreneurs. We want our kids to be smart and savvy online so there is a simpler more cost effective way of empowering our youth to be great online, and that is through education.
I believe that from a young age, children should be permitted to be online. We need comfort in knowing that when we as parents are not around, that children will be in a better position to make responsible decisions on their own or at least feel comfortable talking. Growing up with your child online means that you start off with parental controls from a young age, educating them about being safe online. Your role as a parent slowly evolves as your child matures, earning them more responsibility online.
At the end of the day, while laws must abide to protect the rights of a child, neither restrictions, controls, verification processes nor algorithms will replace the parent and teacher in the important role of education. There is no magic app to tackle this, it comes down to parenting, education and honest conversations.
Avril Ronan is a pro-tech parent of two small children. She worries about her kids all the time and yet when it comes to being online, Avril is passionate about ensuring that we take a balanced view of the Internet and all things tech. In her role as Global Programme Manager for Trend Micro, Avril is responsible for Trend Micro’s Internet Safety for Kids and Families Programme (ISKF) which has reached over 100,000 parents, educators and students across Ireland over the past 5 years.
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Do you have WiFi in your house? Yes. Does your kid have a smart phone? Yes. Have they a data plan? Yes. Have you parental controls on it? No. Do you check their phone? No. Then it’s your fault if they look up something on line that they shouldn’t.
@Stan Stynes: You ask a lot of questions.
As a parent of a young child and a teacher of teens, i think we should all ask a lot of questions about how and what kids have access to.
Without parental supervision everything else is a waste of time.tablets are not babysitters.
My boy turned into a recluse overnight when he got his 1st smartphone & would fight like a rabid dog if u tried to take it off him. Worst mistake ever.
Mine are out and any catching Pokemon!! They walk miles to hatch eggs.
He just told me ‘Pokemon’s gay’. There u have it.
You have to keep checking what they are up to. There should be no secrets. Keep checking daily more than once. It’s an ever ending battle to keep children safe on internet but don’t give up. You need to keep control. It’s not easy. You have to educate your self on the dangers.
You have to educate your child on the dangers more importantly.
No matter how many times you check devices or sit over their shoulder ultimately 5 minutes alone on a device is like leaving them on a strange street for 5 minutes, anything could happen, anybody could say anything to them, take them or arrange anything with them and no matter how good your relationship is, kids when in certain circumstances will decide not to share something with mammy and daddy. This is true for all kids … please don’t fool yourself to think my little johnny would never… kids are innocent, unfortunately there are plenty in the world who actively take advantage of that fact.
Don’t be constantly worried about your children. Be concerned. Be vigilant. Do your best. That’s all you can do.
Sensible advice.
My kids are still very small, so the internet isn’t a concern quite yet. Although I work in IT and have been online since I was a teenager myself back in the 90s, I still don’t have a proper strategy for keeping them safe. I’m also an advocate for technology and would love to help them learn about computers if they show an interest.
Parents often talk about social networks, but there’s so many digital touchpoints in kids’ lives that go beyond Snapchat and Twitter. Video game audio chats can broadcast misogynistic and sometimes racist language that I don’t want in my house. Mainstream sites such as Reddit can feature posts showing porn, death and torture.
On the other hand video games chats can be social and a way to play with friends and Reddit has some amazing content for any subject and can show people at their very best. So blocking these off completely may not be the best option.
I’m secretly hoping someone finds a magic solution by the time my children get online. Maybe some AI that monitors what they do and alerts parents or some kind of government-backed proof of age RFID card. Definitely pipe dreams. For now my only plan is to put a ban on devices in bedrooms (we’ll probably get a desktop PC in the kitchen) although the battle hasn’t begun for me quite yet.
What happened to Amanda Todd should be enough to put the fear in any parent, anyone using the internet should learn her story and try to use it responsibly.
Parents should always keep a watchful eye on their kids online life! My 12 Year old son had a horrific time on Snapchat when he started secondary school. Make sure you monitor what they’re doing. Snapchat is really tricky because the message disappears after a few seconds..thankfully my son had screen shot some of the horrendous messages he was getting and we were able to deal with it. He’s 16 now and I am not allowed near his phone, so make sure you educate kids early about what’s appropriate and inappropriate to post online and tell them to talk to their parents if there’s something they feel is bothering them. Not easy out there for youngsters …..the bullies and nut jobs come home with them!!
Jaysus, again with the “Won’t somebody please think of the children!” mantra.
My folks bought my first PC when I was 13, I got internet access via dialup when I was 15 back in the day when 33K was “ok” an 56K was considered to be “fast”.
I had no supervision, parental controls were still in the process of being invented and you know what? Absolutely nothing happened. The internet did not rape me, the internet did not beat me up, the internet did not steal my underwear while I was asleep.
I grew up just like any other teenager while browsing warez and porn sites, sitting for days on IRC/ICQ.
And there would had been a huge scandal in our house if I would have caught my folks while checking my browsing history or even worse – reading my private chat history. Back in the days we had some selfesteem and our folks knew better to respect our privacy.
Clint Eastwood was right, this is a pussy generation, scared of their own shadow, making everything pathetically “fun and safe”.
Fair point, sure if a teenager can’t say No to his own parents, how will he say no to strangers?
But wasn’t that around the same time as thousands of kids across the world were being groomed and abused, unbeknownst to, and/or unbelieved by their parents? The paedos hadn’t moved online yet at that stage. Nor had the ordinary common-or-garden school bully. Technology was limited to a minority of people, who were mostly literate, and techy – a very different landscape to today, surely you agree?
Lazy parents don’t even try to get on top of the technology that’s in their own homes.
At this time of year parents should spend quality time playing indoor games with their children. Cards, ludo, snakes & ladders, draughts, chess, Chinese checkers and Monopoly are among pastimes which have passed the test of time. Helping pre-adolescent boys and girls to build model, boats, planes, dinosaurs, exotic buildings and robots is something mum and dad can enjoy too. Switch off all phones, tv sets and computers and start family engagement with challenging tactile and intellectually stimulating activities.
…that noise behind you ? ….years the stable door, closing. ….
Is the public consultation live? Where?
One thing that’s easy to forget is that even if you restrict access to internet for your child completely, nothing is stopping a bully from writing offensive statements or uploading sensitive photos on your child to share with class mates.
There will come a point where we either have to give up the freedom we currently enjoy with the internet or we educate our children how to psychologically deal with such bullying.
Both options represent completely different parenting approaches. Personally I believe the former to be healthier in the long run seen as the latter, at best, encourages sheltering at the expense of freedom.
I dont think 13 yr olds should be getting smartphones. Its asking for trouble in my opinion.
It’s important to pose time limits, ban websites that your kid might venture into, keep a eye on them now and then. Change passwords every 30 days or so
My eircom router allows me to monitor every device in the house. Whilst it doesn’t restrict content , it enables me to set usage times for every device. I also have a device called ikydz. A simple plug and play box that gives parents and guardians the power to regulate the time any digital device within the home is used for as well as filtering out content that you are not happy with.
13 is not appropriate
certainly not appropriate
Do we shelter 13 year olds from the news, where people have their heads blown off every day of the week? Then what is this puritanical obsession with making sure they don’t see a penis? Who cares? They all know about it anyway.
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