They asked me to open up windows. I said I would but it would take a few minutes could they wait. They did and I did. I said done- what now? They asked me what was I looking at. I said rain. I asked can I close the windows now because it’s cold too.
They said it was my computer they were talking about. I said oh – ok but I’ll have to close the windows first – can they wait. Frustrated yes.
Now I’m back. Can you open up your computer now? Yes sure – can you wait? Why? I’ll need a screwdriver and its in the garage. Click.

Still waiting for my Nigerian lotto winnings

I keep a whistle next to the phone…as soon as I hear a person telling my they are from Microsoft or similar they get an ear full….

We get loads of them and I normally tell them to fu@& off in no uncertain terms once she actually rang me back and gave out to me for being so rude and using such foul language on the phone, had to admire her neck!!!!!

My 78 year bundle of fun mother tells anyone she doesn’t know to ‘feck off, you eejit, you’re not getting into my bank a/c”……I’m sure she’ll be telling the right person the above statement any day now……least we know she’ll never be conned.

They keep calling our line and I keep telling them they have got through to Bill Gates. They hang up after that.

Once they mention windows I tell them I already have double glazing.

Just ask them who their current electricity supplier is, and tell them how you can save them money.

Mess with their heads.

What about eircom with there annoying sales reps going from door to door once every 2 weeks.

They call you, say they are from Windows (not microsoft, that should be your first clue) then they ask you to download a programme that they can use to scan and remote fix your system
This is something DELL and Microsoft legit tech guys do so it may confuse some people, but the programme is just a normal registry or temporary internet files cleaner, and when it runs it makes it look like there are loads of viruses and errors that are really only small clutter in your memory.

This alarms you, and you get desperate, the programme might have already stolen your online banking info, but if it has not they will claim to fix the problem and ask for a small VISADEBIT card fee that seems tiny, but they will then use your card number and verification code to steal money or buy stuff on your card.

NO LEGITIMATE TECHNOLOGY FIRM COLD CALLS CUSTOMERS – always remember that.

I got caught once by these scammers so the next time I got a call I kept the guy on for ages and ages.. he was getting more frustrated every minute, and this is what should be done to them..

An elderly relative gets them several times a year. She just tells them that she’ll have to hang up her phone in order to connect her computer to the internet and promptly hangs up and that’s the end of that.

The scam depends on them speaking to you while you are connected to the internet. My relative is not on dial-up but the thoughts of the frustration they experience with that response works for her :)

Every time they call me, I put the phone next to the radio and turn on radio na gaeltachta. They must love it :) Apparently if they hang up they don’t get paid . If you hang up they do (albeit a tiny amount )

I get these at least twice a week, sometimes twice in a day. I just leave the phone on down and stick the kettle on while their nattering away to themselves

They’re really nice folk..Very concerned about my windows ..

I get them quit a lot. Sometimes I engage them for so long, taking up about 20 mins of their time before saying “Actually I run Linux, not windows”. They promptly hang up. On other occasions I engage them again before launching into a massive tirade of abuse laced with some of the most colourful language to ever pass by somebody’s ear. Then I hang up.

When i got last call (ive had a few) I pretended to call out to a fictitious child ‘Johnny? Johnny? have you been downloading that pornography again? Johnnnnnny come here……*slam phone against the counter a few times and scream a bit* arrrghhhh
‘Oh johnny, I’mmm sorry – say something Johnnnnyyy, Johnnnnnyyyyyyy? Nooooooooooooo!

The line had mysteriously gone dead after that.

Pretty sure a scammer closer to home was ringing my mothers phone off the hook , at the start of the month there were more calls a day than I can count on both hands!, witheld number, get lost!

I’ve had several of these calls, usually just hang up or simply advise them I use a mac, they hang up.

The last time they called, they said they had identified my IP address as insecure etc, I asked what’s my IP address? Again they hung up.

At this stage if there is a delay at the start of a call and obvious switchboard connection I just hang up. The indian accents are a dead give away as well.

They rang my mother and my aunty saying they were Microsoft. I managed to answer the phone once as they tried to tell me they were from Microsoft. I had great fun with them. Needless to say the calls stopped after that.

We get regular landline calls, at least once a week. Once I got 2 calls from the same guy within a few hours , and when I asked if that was Sam again , and he replied with surprise” how you know my name ?” He hasn’t called since. They’re a menace . I also know somebody who was duped, but luckily avoided loss by cancelling credit cards, passwords, etc.

She asked them once where they got her number and the response was ‘UPC’.

Just order a curry and rice next time they call

We always get those! Mam went mad at this lad one day cause they had called twice before that week!

Got one of these calls just over a month ago. Same routine my computer was comprised blaa blaa blaa. Thing was i was in a hospital bed having just had minor surgery under general anaesthetic. He had autodialled an ancient landline phone that was attached to the wall of the room. Nurses seemed bemused the phone worked!

Whistle is your only man. Minute you know it’s them let em have it. Then see if they stay on the line and repeat . They won’t call again.

My parents get called continuously. I’m convinced they get they keep getting called because the first time, they stayed on the line with them for a few mins. They get called 2 or 3 times a week.

I told them I worked for Microsoft, they hung up before I could finish the sentence!

i get these calls regularly at one stage i got 3 in one day, And it really is a pain!!! they often rang before 7am which is the middle of the night in our house!!!! ive tried everything. I told them I was an IT consultant and that i know for a fact they are talking crap, this didnt work so next time i toledthem that I dont actualy have a computer .. still they kept ringing back…. last time they rang i started speaking irish !….ok so i was mostly using random irish words … but to be fair i did manage to ask their permission to go to the toilet and honestly they hung up and they haven’t rang back since . lucky for me i didnt really want to go ;-)

Received two of these phone calls recently two days in a row. The first day, she said that she was from Windows and that there was a problem with viruses on my PC, and that it was at risk of shutting down. I promply told her that I wasn’t interested, and hung up the phone. The following day, a man called with a similar line, and the person who took the call told that there was one problem, that he didn’t have Windows, and the caller promptly hung up the phone. If there’s a third call, I won’t be disconnecting the call.

Never mind a referees whistle, use a panic alarm at 120db should shut them up.

anyone who gets caught by this deserves it.

I got a call two or three weeks ago from a guy with an Indian/Pakistani accent who said he was from microsoft. I asked him for his office address. the address didn’t click with me so I said I’d get the number from the phone book and ring him back. Peace ever since

I’m getting between five and ten calls a day on my home phone and i cant get the number blocked. I have said i dont have a computer, i have hung up or ignored the calls but they just keep coming. Even when i answer and dont talk they just hang up and ring back. Its driving me mad!

mother in law got those calls , she just asked man to hold while she booted up her laptop, then went off to the shops and left the guy, came home 3 hours later , only cure for them!!!

Get heaps of these calls, now have fun asking them how do i turn on a pc, etc! The pc has gone on fire, have been told to f*** off, but if you have the time, make them sweat, encouraging them to take advantage of the vulnerable woman who knows nothing, then giving them the sting!!!!

I would be more concerned as to where these alleged scammers are getting their contact lists / names addresses/ Broadband provider etc can’t be just the phone book ?

I had been getting these calls so often once I heard them say they were from Microsoft I would ask them to hold on ,then I would bring the phone over to the radio,turn on speaker on phone and let them listen to radio until they decided to hang up

Guy told me my computer had a virus, told him I was delighted he had called, had caught the virus and was sick. Would he help me? Repeated that my computer was infected. I repeated that I had caught the virus, was ill and needed help immediately. This went on for a while as he tried to explain that the Computer was infected! I kept up the gratitude and requests for help with my infection. He eventually hung up

Another call said there was a problem with windows. I said that the line was bad and would he spell everything out. After about three rounds of this I had a sudden understanding and told him that my house already had enough windows, newly double glazed d and that we did not want anymore. He tried to explain that it was something to do with a computer while I kept repeating that we already had windows. He angrily hung up

Well if your stupid enough to give your details so be it

I was called twice on the last 3 weeks. This has happened since joining UPC. They had my name and address when I asked them.

I pretend that the phone is breaking up by leaving words out of my sentences. I then keep ssking if they can hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? etc etc. You get the picture!

Do what I do, keep them on long enough for them to feel comfy and then break the air and say you are the police and we are on too you haha they hang up like mad, but you don’t just put the phone down on the side come back to it in an hour bet there still on it drives them nuts so you get your own back on them cost them loads hehe……….

i have 2 tricks one
llet a no national person reply to this call saying I’m corean

for exaple) i don’t understand what you want do no call me again i don’t understand english…

(it works pretty well with telesales agents as well)

two: my reply is whaaaaat? what you want? so sooooooorry your voice comes and goes i can’t hear your voice properly must be something wrong with satelite- Pleeeeeease call me later. Byyyyyyyyye

Just hold the line please .. Play Daniel .. Put kettle on .. So sorry for holding just 2 minutes .. More Daniel .. Enjoy your tea .. Are you still there .. Oh yea .. So sorry thank you for holding your call in nb to me .. More Daniel .. Go to Lidl .. Are you still there ? Ya are ” more power ta ya” .. More Daniel .. Iiiiiii

I usually do one of 2 things. Them them to f**k off. Or if I have a bit of spare time I let them go on and think they have me on the hook and then just say oh I just remembered I actually have an apple not a windows PC. Drives them nuts !

HI

I live in South Africa and these calls are a regular part of life out there. Just hang up and move on, even if I didn’t have a computer they would still come.

We are getting these calls once a week sometimes there is nobody on the line but if u leave it for a minute somesome answers its always a starts with it ur name how do they get this anyway we always just put the phone down

whats new our government are screwing us sure the rest think were easy targets fair play /irish sheep

i really like the ones about opening the windows in the house, and catching the virus haha
we’re an unlisted number and got one recently, doing a “survey”, english accent said ringing from london, computer generated the number randomly….! havent had the one about bank details though, dont get that far involved in conversation.

Depending upon my mood, I’ve messed with their heads; told them to take a long walk off a short pier; told them where to go in slightly more colourful language; picked up the phone & stayed silent until they hung up; blown a whistle (& nearly defended myself) or slammed the phone down. Yep, I get a lot of ‘Microsoft Man/Woman’ calls. One time I blew the whistle, checked & he was still on the line, blew it again & he was still there. I asked him if he’d not got the hint. ‘No’ says he. I hung up – I needed a drink at that stage.

I have received several calls during the past few years from ‘Microsoft’.They knew my name.Everytime it was a very heavily accented voice I could hardly understand.

I got one of the calls I did get the numbers but if I report it to the police I don’t think they could do anything about it. I did challenge the people by telling them I was a guard /police and they hung up. I rang directory inquiry and they told me that the number is from the United States. And it was a scam. As I have said I still have their phone numbers

I get these frequently! My reply is always the same……” I’m sorry but I don’t have a computer” they argue that every house has a computer but I say I don’t! Eventually in frustration they hang up! Works for me!

As pointed out in the article, this is a problem that will be with us for a long time to come. As the perpetrators are based in countries where nobody gives a monkeys, all we can do is look out for the less technically able. But what we CAN do is stop using the word ‘hacker’ when we mean ‘criminal’. It makes the Journal look like a red-top rag. These people are not hackers in any sense of the word. They’re not even ‘cyber-crooks’. They are low-level criminal scammers following a script, using freely available and easy to use software to extort money from ‘easy marks’. Calling them hackers only feeds the fear that leads people to fall into their traps. Stop it now, please.

just tell them you just painted your windows and you cant open them because they are stuck shut

My mother gets these calls frequently. Her way of dealing with them now is to blow a whistle down the line at them. Gets rid of them immediately!!

I was getting those calls a lot a few months ago

Once I said my windows are fine I looking out my window now I can see the police car I go get them

Another time I kept saying sorry don’t understand you speak English please I kept repeating this

Now I don’t bother answering the calls as they are all international numbers easy to spot

Most of these scams are run from the UK they use software to make as if the call is from abroad so even if you report the number it’s a waste of time as the number you see the call is from is fake
I guy who set this up in UK was sent to jail but others have just taken over his operation
They only catch them when money trail can be seen from people who fall for the scam

Just ignore the calls don’t even answer them they will stop calling your number when they see no one will answer

I simply tell them the bill payer is speaking with someone outside and to hold on the line, every now n then I come back and tell them he’ll be in in a minute, guy once waited 18minutes before hanging up