DO YOU ENJOY a bit of a gossip? Or a good moan about something.
It may be time to rethink your conversational skills.
Julian Treasure, a sound expert, gave a TED Talk in Edinburgh – which was recently published on YouTube – to expose the seven deadly sins of speaking.
Here are the worst habits you can do while talking to other people, according to the British business man.
1. GOSSIPING
“Speaking ill of somebody who is not present.”
“We know perfectly well, the person gossiping will be gossiping about us five minutes later.”
2. JUDGING
“We know people who are like this in conversation and it is very hard to listen to somebody when you know you are being judged and found wanting at the same time.”
3. NEGATIVITY
“You can fall into this. My mother in the last years of her life became very negative and it’s hard to listen to.
“I remember one day, I said to her, ‘It’s October 1st today’, and she said, ‘I know, isn’t it dreadful’.
“It’s hard to listen to somebody when they are that negative.”
4. COMPLAINING
This is a specific form of negativity, according to Treasure.
“This is the national art of the UK. It is our national sport. We complain about the weather, about sport, about politics, about everything.
“Complaining is viral misery. It is not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world.”
5. EXCUSES
“We’ve all met this guy, maybe we’ve all been this guy.
“Some people have a blamethrower. They pass it on to everyone else…Again, hard to listen to somebody like that.”
6. EMBROIDERY, EXAGGERATION
“It demeans our language, actually, sometimes.
“If I see something that really is awesome, what do I call it?”
Exaggeration can also become out-and-out lying.
7. DOGMATISM
“The confusion of facts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you’re listening into the wind. Somebody is bombarding you with opinions as if they are true and it’s difficult to listen to that.”
Treasure, though, offers a solution to ensure your speech is powerful and useful.
The ‘HAIL’ formula looks at being honest (clear and straight), authentic (being yourself, standing in your own word), integrity (sticking to your word) and love (wish people well).
But it’s not only what we say, but how we say it that is important.
Did you know we vote for politicians with lower voices because we equate them with power and authority?
Here are Treasure’s tips on how to speak with empathy, as well as some practical tips to sound better.
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