IF TALKING WAS a sport at the Olympics, Irish people would have it sewn up.
We’re a nation who love an aul chinwag and our favourite topic of conversation – without a shadow of a doubt – is the weather.
An inability to converse fluently and at length about the forecast would be a true social impediment in Ireland, but luckily we’re here on hand with a glossary of useful terms.
What exactly is a soft day? Is there a true definition of a soft day, or do you just know one when you encounter one? One thing is for sure: you’ve got to add in the “thank God” or else you’re basically wishing rain upon us. Why would you do that?
An oxymoron? Perhaps. Just don’t say that to an Irish person or they’ll think you’re starting a scrap.
We’re never going to get tans from the Irish summer sun, but we sure as hell will get grand drying out of it. No one can take our grand drying from us. No one.
Just like “fierce mild” could be dismissed as a mere oxymoron by someone who didn’t know better, “wet rain” may initially be mistaken by the untrained ear as a nonsensical tautology. However this is not the case. “Wet rain” is the type of soft, sheety rain that really gets under your skin and unexpectedly leaves you soaked.
Bucketing. Lashing. Pegging it. Other more rude variants we’re too charming to mention. They all mean raining, but the most uniquely Irish of them all has to be this – spitting rain. It’s actually a bit upsetting if you think about it literally, which luckily we never do.
Coming directly from the Irish language phrase, this means sun so strong that it’d crack rocks. Now that’s sunny, so it is.
That’s it now. We may as well pack up and go home. It’s down for the day – AKA it’s going to coming down in sheets for the rest of the foreseeable future, so let’s get indoors so we can start the serious business of moaning some more about it.
And finally, for the one that sums it all up… Because there’s nothing more Irish than going through all the different weather types within one afternoon. From Baltic cold to sleet to sunshine and then gale force winds, there’s never a dull moment with our weather, is there?
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