THERE’S NO PARENTING rule book or child-raising manual. For the most part we just have to figure things out on our own, which is easier said than done.
Each week in our new series, Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who can’t figure out if they’re on the right track with a parenting decision, or if they’ve gotten something 100% wrong. To get a balanced view of the situation, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers.
Am I being a bad parent… to think my toddler should be sleeping through the night by now? My daughter is two and a half and recently has started to wake up repeatedly during the night again. She’ll come into our room and I end up ferrying her back to her bedroom at least five or six times a night. Am I being unreasonable to think we should be done with this sort of behaviour by now? Is there something I should be doing?
You’re not being unreasonable. You’re like every other parent who thinks they have cracked the sleep-through, only to find their child has other ideas. With my three-year-old, if the wake-ups continue after two nights, we get proactive about breaking it. I’d recommend a ’staging post’ between their bed and yours, be it a quick cuddle in armchair in your daughter’s room or a drink of water in the kitchen. Plus plenty of advance warning, like, ‘Okay, I am going to pick you up but in a few minutes, when you are feeling better, Mammy/Daddy will tuck you back in.’
You’re being a bit unreasonable, just accept that this phase will pass. Our toddler wakes up and hops into our bed most nights at the moment. We’ll bring her back into her room ideally but she gets away with it a bit. I’m confident the problem will sort itself out.
You’re not being a bad parent to aspire to having a toddler sleep through the night. How to achieve it in practice is something else though. I haven’t slept in two nights myself.
You’re not being a bad parent, but don’t lose your temper. I think kids this age are at a tricky stage in terms of being being actually ‘responsible’ for their actions in a meaningful sense. Kind of neither responsible, nor not responsible. Is it mischief or is she unable to sleep? It’s hard to know. Really the only option is to keep putting them back to bed, and avoid giving out.
So what’s the final tally? Is our reader being unreasonable?
No – 3
Yes – 1
Tell us your thoughts in the comments!
Do you have a parenting issue you need advice on? Do you find yourself asking if you’re being unreasonable? Drop us a line with your reader dilemma on family@thejournal.ie.
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