THE FAMILY OF occupational therapist Valerie French, who was beaten, stabbed and strangled to death by her husband, James Kilroy, are calling for a review of the law to stop people who kill their partners from having parental rights to their children.
David French says that the life of his “wonderful’ sister Valerie was ended in the “cruellest, most violent and terrifying way possible” with her “broken body” now lying in a grave in West Cork.
The body of the late mother of three was found at her home in Kilbree Lower, near Islandeady, Co Mayo on June 14th, 2019. She was 41 when she died.
A native of Leap in West Cork, her three sons were under the age of five when she died. Her husband James was last week found guilty of her murder after jurors rejected his insanity defence.
Mr Kilroy (51) was handed the mandatory sentence of life imprisonment at a sitting of the Central Criminal Court in Dublin this afternoon. The cause of death for Valerie was ligature strangulation, combined with blunt force trauma to the head and a stab wound to the neck.
Her brother says that Ireland should follow the lead of the UK where people who have killed their partners are now unable to have parental rights to their surviving children.
“Valerie’s husband killed her brutally yet he retains all his parental rights to her children. This is an absolutely ridiculous situation. Killing a mother is child abuse. Children have to be protected from abusers,” David French said.
Murderers in the UK have their parental rights suspended under what is called Jade’s Law.
The British measures are named after Jade Ward, who was stabbed and strangled by her partner, Russell Marsh, in 2021 as their four sons were sleeping. The law creates an automatic suspension of parental responsibility while any mother or father is serving time for killing the person with whom they shared that responsibility.
Jade’s parents, Karen Robinson and Paul Ward, campaigned for the new law, which passed in May. There is an exemption in cases where domestic abuse victims kill their abusers.
Meanwhile, Mr French and his three surviviving sisters Suzette, Hilary and Veronica also said in a statement that Valerie went through a “lot of pain, expense and heartbreak” to give birth to her precious sons. They urged persons who are being abused to contact gardai.
“She [Valerie] was the main breadwinner for her family. On the last day of her life she took them to school and she organised the insulation of their house. She worked and she ran an AirBnB. One of her last acts was buying groceries for her family. It appears her last words were “What about the boys ?’
“There are many other families that know the loss that comes after domestic homicide. The families of Jasmine McMonagle in Donegal, Jennifer Poole and Rachel Callally in Dublin, Olivia Dunlea in Cork, Nadine Lott in Wicklow and hundreds of others.
“This is the result of men’s violence against women. Any woman who is being abused or controlled should contact Gardai while they still can.”
The French family added that Valerie was “highly regarded” by her colleagues and clients in Mayo where she worked as a occupational therapist.
Separately in the victim impact to the court David French said that the pain caused to their family following the murder of Valerie was “beyond words.”
“This is a victim impact statement but there is no longer a victim. Our sister Valerie is not here anymore. She now exists only in our memory.
“Or there are many victims here. Besides Valerie there is the death of our mother which followed soon after. I see this as a direct consequence of the crime before this court. My mother was in deep shock and could not come to terms with this evil act.
“To compound the extreme stress from the murder of her daughter she feared for the fate of her grandchildren. Our mother was a calm, steady understated person and not given to histrionics or exaggeration. She stated ‘Our family is destroyed’ and she also said ‘My life is ruined.’
“Our mother was under tremendous stress and then died suddenly. The state requested an official inquest but it did not uncover any underlying medical issues. I believe that for our mother the impact was a death sentence.”
Mr French said that the murder of Valerie was “violent and prolonged” with multiple assaults and several major injuries.
“She died in terror for her own life and the lives of her children. When I identified my sister’s broken body I saw where he strangled her and stabbed her in the neck. Valerie’s inquest was actually a relief as this shocking information became public knowledge but I can still see the horror on her face as she lay on the mortuary slab. Valerie was savagely slaughtered. She was not resting in peace.”
He said that they strove to make the funeral of his sister at St Fachtna’s Church of Ireland Cathedral in Rosscarbery in west Cork a celebration of her life.
“Her orphaned son lovingly arranged handpicked daisies on his mother’s coffin which obviously had to be closed. Picture a five-year-old boy wearing his best clothes holding a bunch of flowers and carefully lining them up while a full church stands in silence.
“Valerie’s death was deeply traumatic and impactful to all the victims. Deaths are not comparable but some are understandable. Most people die of old age and unavoidable illness, some by sudden accident and some by their own hand.
“Murder is in a completely different category where the death was by intent. Domestic homicide tops all of them with the existence of a perpetrator who is well known to the mourners and who has been treated as family. Domestic homicide where there are children involved is even worse.”
Mr French said two of his nephews were pre-verbal when the murder of their mother occurred.
“But one when he learned to speak said ‘I miss Mummy’ after seeing a photograph. It was one of his earliest sentences and clearly deeply felt.
“These are innocent little boys who have been robbed of an extremely capable, talented and loving mother who literally gave everything she could to them while she was alive.”
He said that Valerie planned for her boys to find their own way in the world unburdened by trauma, expectations or legacy.
“She made a happy nest for them. She was so excited to see them growing up and took delight in every move they made. She regularly shared that love with us. She felt so lucky to be a mother at all and so lucky to be their mother. Valerie kept a baby journal and wrote on the inside cover: ‘This book is dedicated to “the miracle of believing and dreams coming true’.
“As their uncle I have almost half a century more experience than they do. I know she isn’t coming back and I knew Valerie for far longer than they did. The pain and the bitter tears are no less than if I’d seen her killed in front of me as a little boy myself.”
He stressed that crimes like this have a “ripple effect” on relationships, employment and health.
“Our children have been deeply traumatised by the sudden loss of their beloved Aunt Valerie and haunted by thoughts of the killer who we welcomed into our family and as a guest in our homes. This has led to many serious issues.
“Valerie’s death and the fate of her three children were among the last things our uncle Joe spoke of before he died. We could never tell our late Aunty Rita for fear of the effect it would have had on her.”
“There has been considerable financial impact. Employment has been lost. There has been necessary long distance and repeated intercontinental travel.
“The last day of evidence in this trial was the 23rd of July. This would have been my little sister’s 47th birthday. I remember her first birthday.”
Mr French said that his sister was both mentally and physically strong.
“She stood shoulder to shoulder with me under the front of our father’s coffin in 2002.
“Valerie was able to carry the full weight in every aspect of her life and did so without letting it get her down. She was neither a shrinking violet nor a dominant character.
“She spent her work life helping others. She enabled, supported and gave space to her killer. Like most people my sister Valerie simply wanted a marriage with a loving home in which to raise a family”
Mr French said that ever since Valerie’s murder, her killer has attempted to control the narrative, to minimise it completely and avoid accountability.
“To date, no remorse in any form whatsoever has ever been shown to us. Without real remorse there is no rehabilitation. For us there will be no family visits with our sister and no release from this pain.
“You might be thinking the impact cannot be too bad because I am standing here five years later. This is one of the things traumatised people do. We compartmentalise in order to function when required.
“You don’t see the flashbacks, the nightmares, the sudden tears or the despair. It feels like Valerie is murdered again every morning when I wake and realise this has really happened. It was agony then and it is agony now.
“It’s not just that she’s dead. It’s the fact that her death was intentional. It is the fact that the person who killed her was known to her. It is the absolutely horrific way that she died. There is an utterly terrifying black hole of silence where my sister Valerie used to be.”
The French family have thanked the garda teams in Westport and Castlebar who ran a “text book investigation,” the Director of Public Prosecutions and Courts Service. They also thanked barristers who worked on the case, jurors and a witness who travelled to Dublin from Mayo three times after the previous two cases collapsed due to unforeseen circumstances.
Valerie French was buried in the cemetery adjoining the Cathedral where her funeral service took place. Just five months later her mother, also named Valerie, was laid to rest in the same place.
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