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This is the latest dispatch from our columnist Darach Ó Séaghdha, author of the award-winning and bestselling Motherfoclóir. Every Sunday morning, Darach will be regaling (re-Gaeling?) us with insights on what the Irish language says about Ireland, our society, our past and our present. Enjoy.
I HAD AN epiphany of sorts recently.
Some colleagues were discussing the pop songs that were now thirty years old when one fellow incorrectly attributed a Transvision Vamp song to Roxette.
As I was about to swoop in and correct him, a thought popped into my head: why do you know this useless fact, Darach?
Why do you remember this and not the chemical formula for alcohol? How did this information lodge itself in the brain that could not retain lists of irregular verbs?
Tellingly, I would have been studying the Modh Coinníollach in 1989 or 1990, when these two bands were at the height of their powers.
I knew what diplomatic immunity was from seeing Lethal Weapon II and about the internment of Japanese families during World War II from Die Hard.
I asked Twitter if anyone else had had this experience and sure enough they had – no teacher had told them what minority reports or double jeopardy were.
Thousands of Irish people know their rights if they’re arrested in America but not if they’re arrested in Ireland… and nobody would know what mitosis was if it wasn’t for Sabrina.
And this doesn’t even cover the stuff we learned it prestigious shows like The West Wing, The Good Wife and ER.
Teaching children this way would be completely absurd – the information is random, out of context and unreliable. Just think about how many movies about Ireland get very basic things wrong, like what side of the island Dingle is on in Leap Year.
But that said learning eats teaching for breakfast and our minds are busily remembering and forgetting stuff whether it is useful and accurate or not.
The amount we forget from school but retain from entertainment puts the notorious “the way it’s taught” argument about Irish in context.
The Way It’s Taught (TWIT for short) is a deeply frustrating regular feature in debates about Irish.
On one level, TWIT cannot be dismissed out of hand – if you have no Irish after eleven years of lessons, a different teaching approach is unlikely to have yielded a worse outcome.
However, this is no more insightful than saying that an investment might drop in value or that you will probably die someday.
But TWIT implies more than it says: that Irish is an exception in an otherwise perfect system, but also that any suggested change – no matter how drastic or far-fetched – can’t make things any worse.
And if you’re old enough to remember Roxette and Transvision Vamp, then the way Irish is taught has changed several times since you’ve been in school, but TWIT as an argument hasn’t changed at all.
Irish isn’t an exception, though, the truth is that we retain very little knowledge of the subjects that we didn’t enjoy.
I’m sure you recognise what words like luch, capall, cluiche, and feoil mean more quickly than you’ll recognise the formula for calculating the surface area of a triangle.
But maybe retention of Irish can be improved by looking at what makes the facts we learn from films and TV so sticky – we learned them while we were having fun.
I’ll leave you with two examples of Irish grammar rules that were retained by friends of mine because of the way it was taught to them.
One lad said that his teacher explained an tuiseal ginideach to him as being “the offside rule in Irish” – all about possession and the séimhiú is the ball.
This doesn’t apply in every instance but knowing the analogy was a good enough start for him to learn the exceptions.
And a woman I know said that she remembers the past tense of the irregular verb beir, which is rug, by thinking of a bearskin rug.
Darach’s new book Craic Baby is the follow-up to his acclaimed Motherfoclóir and is out now under the Head of Zeus imprint.
He runs @theirishfor Twitter account and the @motherfocloir podcast.
Biden won’t do anything that will jeopardise the GFA and all world leaders know at this stage that BJ and the British government can not be trusted. The US and the EU can stand firm on this one. The UK are out of the big boys club of world trade and have a dirty report card. This is going to get very interesting.
@2thFairy: Go on Joe tell him don’t mess with Ireland
@2thFairy: Boris is only interested in the people that vote for him which they are doing so in ever greater numbers he has already said he doesn’t like the expression “Special Relationship” but the relationship he does have with America is one that see’s a US destroyer sailing alongside HMS Queen Elizabeth which also has 200 US Marines on board as it sails to the South China Sea to main freedom of navigation, security & intelligence is the part of the relationship that matters “The Five Eyes” it matters to both nations. If you think the EU is going to put a spanner in that spoke you are much mistaken. UK isn’t seriously looking for a trade deal with the US on the terms being offered. The CPTPP is the next trade block the UK is looking at, not the EU & not the US ;-)
@Joe Thorpe: matters of military and world security are completely separate and will always be negotiated between the two countries as allies. Don’t cloud world trade with national and international security. The U.K. does need to trade with the EU and the US and anyone that thinks otherwise is fooling themselves.
From fresh produce to raw materials to global banking the U.K. need to be at the table.
@2thFairy: You seem to think UK electorate care if they trade with a trade agreement with the EU which is in place at the moment or revert to WTO. No one cares they would be more than happy to revert to WTO trade with the EU it’s delusional to think the UK is in a weak position here. They have their own currency they are borrowing from themselves they have to repay themselves while over here we get a billion or so from the EU & have to repay 17 billion in solidarity with the waster Mediterranean nations who have spent money like Elton John & passing their debts onto us. I’d be more concerned about Biden coming for our supper by forcing tax changes these are what Ireland should be shouting about not obsessing about what the UK does. Soon enough the UK will start inspecting goods into the UK
@Joe Thorpe: what on earth are you talking about. The UK have just left the most successful trading bloc they have ever had and now they want to keep all the bells and whistles that have enjoyed the fruits of since it’s conception. They negotiated a deal and signed up to a deal that they rushed through because they didn’t want to wait. Now they are saying the deals not good enough for them. They are blaming the EU. It beggars belief that the US and the EU are STILL trying to help a nation that is consistently telling lies and refusing to abide by its own decisions. I’d have given up on them years ago.
Johnson harping on about Churchill and Roosevelt and saying they had to work togeth recover post WW2 is revisionist at best. Post WW2 FDR was quite dead, and Churchill was gone in 45. They may have helped win the war, but post war recovery was Truman and Eden
@Xanadu Marmalade: sorry Atleee, coffee needed
@Xanadu Marmalade: really? So you don’t think there was any planning for how to recover from WW2 during WW2.
@Kevin Norris: Marshall plan was passed in 1948, 3 years after the war was over. FDR and Churchill were fixated on winning the war, and keeping Stalin in check should they win. Victory was not a done deal. All assets were pretty much for the war effort and keeping people fed. Thinking of rebuilding the economy was a we’ll deal with that when we win scenario.
@Xanadu Marmalade: what are you talking about? Post WW2 the leaders were different but 5 years on from brexit Biden is president and Johnson is PM the fact you don’t get what he’s saying perfectly illustrates why you are apparently annoyed with the comments in the first place. And why are you annoyed? Is it not a good thing to have the president of the US on our side? Or are you disappointed its not the buffoon from before getting everything wrong?
@Cuhullan ⭐⭐: A lot of assumptions made there. Delighted Joe is in our corner. From a long line of dyed in the wool Democrats. Folks even voted for Mondale when a lot of Irish Americans opted for Ronald Reagan.
@Kevin Norris: There was loads of planning, but despite making a short comeback in the 50′s Churchill was totally opposed to change and the ceding of their colonies. He had become more tory than the torries themselves. Post war Britain was a Labour project.
Today – Johnson obviously was to protect the GFA, but knows its not compatible with Brexit, or at least with the DUP unionist version of it.
Boris supplied the Brexit oil and the DUP is still trying to mix the Unionist water!
The problem is that nobody new what the outcome for voting in Brexit was going to be ,nor did anyone take the time to read into the small print? If they did, they would not have voted in. There bed is made now! It’s time to liy in it.
@Heisen berg1: actually they did know. Remainers were shouting it from the rooftops. Leavers called it scaremongering. Now they claim no one told them.
@2thFairy: your spot on there. My sister who lives in the UK almost 30 years + was one who voted to remain in the EU. Her friend who is British voted out saying “We’re British!” This is Great Britain, we WILL be GREAT again!! Now her friend says that the EU and not playing fair, that their making things awkwark for them. When my sister tells her its because you voted out of the EU, and its your own fault for doing so, she gets all uptight about it. They want their bread buttered on both sides do the UK. Not going to happen I think!!
@Heisen berg1: the uk people would vote to nuke themselves if given a vote.
@Heisen berg1: That’s completely wrong. The UK voting public are doubling down with their voting the Conservatives took a rock solid Labour seat that was being fought by a remainer MP who lost his seat standing on a remain platform in the previous election & then to emphasise the way the UK electorate is going they also cleaned up in the local elections. The next big test will be the next by-election which is a massive rock solid Labour seat & if the conservatives get close in that one (I doubt they will actually win it) then you are going to see Labour start to implode.
How many times has Johnson claimed that very complicated and delicate are “easily doable”?
@David A. Murray: ….negotiatons……Journal, come on…add an edit feature for comment.
Biden knows more about the GFA and Northern Ireland than Boris ‘BJ’ Johnson.
@Liam Byrne: Obviously him and you do not because putting a border between GB and NI breaks the GFA, Even the Irish constitution recognises that NI is part of the UK.
@On the right side: That’s right, any border breaks the GFA in principle, but it was up to the British to come up with a solution given their red lines, which were not just to leave the EU, but also the single market, and most importantly, the customs union – which implies there will have to be a border *somewhere*.
They didn’t need to leave the CU in order to ‘get Brexit done’ but they did it anyway, and that’s why there’s a customs border down the Irish Sea, one which Johnson himself signed up to
@Liam Byrne: So I would imagine does every one else in Ireland North and South.
@On the right side: On the wrong side again. The Irish constitution was changed (articles 2 & 3 dropped) to accommodate an agreement that you unionist guys failed to sign up to. Now when it suits you guys, you have the neck to refer to the same constitution.
You are not on the right side – more like the comical side!
I can already hear Tory liars whining “we warned you” as Mi5 backed loyalist terrorists burn and riot on 12th July
@SheepleDog: July came early in April this year, but we should expect a few replays over this summer!
Your Horsemeat sausage came from within the EU The EUs main interest is to punish the brits for leaving the club…They care nothing about the GFA or BA …
@John Rownano: yes but it was traceable and the culprit found with the way the Uk is behaving they can’t be trusted
@John Rownano: Wrong wrong, it was horse meat in burgers that was supplied by Tesco and produced in the border counties of Ireland.)
@John Rownano: since day 1 of the Brexit negotiations the EU has made it clear that the GFA and the integrity of the EU market are the red lines. It was repeatedly pointed out to the UK negotiators that this would pose a logistical problem. Ironically, the horsemeat scandal is a perfect example of why the EU is so keen on food regulations and it came from the UK no less.
@Accidental Gentleman: Are you desperately trying to rewrite history?
The French government believes that the sale of horsemeat labelled as beef went on for six months and involved about 750 tonnes of meat.
Spanghero imported meat from Romania and sold it on to another company, Comigel, which made frozen ready meals at its factory in Luxembourg.
French Consumer Affairs Minister Benoit Hamon said the meat had left Romania clearly and correctly labelled as horse. It was afterwards that it was relabelled as beef.
“From the investigation, it would seem that the first agent or actor in this network who stamped ‘beef’ on horsemeat from Romania was Spanghero,” Mr Hamon said.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-21464052
@Setanta Stylfox: It was horsemeat imported from Poland by one certain “Fear maith” and incorporated into Silvercrest “beef burgers” –And incidentally the same fear maith used the ensuing stink as an excuse to reduce the price that he was paying his own suppliers.
@Setanta Stylfox: The French government believes that the sale of horsemeat labelled as beef went on for six months and involved about 750 tonnes of meat.
Spanghero imported meat from Romania and sold it on to another company, Comigel, which made frozen ready meals at its factory in Luxembourg.
French Consumer Affairs Minister Benoit Hamon said the meat had left Romania clearly and correctly labelled as horse. It was afterwards that it was relabelled as beef.
“From the investigation, it would seem that the first agent or actor in this network who stamped ‘beef’ on horsemeat from Romania was Spanghero,” Mr Hamon said.
There was “no reason to doubt the good faith” of the Romanian abattoir that originally provided the meat, Mr Hamon added.
The investigation says some blame may rest with Comigel, which made the ready meals sold around Europe.
The latest country to be hit by the crisis is Germany, where some supermarket chains have removed frozen lasagne from sale after traces of horsemeat were detected.
The widening scandal has raised questions about the complexity of the food industry’s supply chains across Europe.
@On the right side: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwWedFWhU1E
Nice shower you associate yourself with .
@FlopFlipU: It was found by the British not the Europeans. If the EU was serious it has options like stopping exports of Energy or Food to the UK from the EU it could also introduce tariffs but as the UK imports a lot more so they could more than retaliate. The EU could also keep the UK out of Horizon projects but they would then have to find a replacement for the money the UK puts in the pot & then their is security & defense but the UK has already said it’s not interested in a security & defense partnership so it would be a bit pointless suspending cooperation in that area especially as the EU has no influence over NATO
@Setanta Stylfox: The meat product came from Eastern EU countries. I’d imagine those suppliers will be kept out of the UK market in the future & replaced with meat products from New Zealand, Australia & Canada
I’m missing something here… the maps show NI as part of the UK so why should a border be imposed on them , I’m pretty sure if the eu decided to place a border between 2 counties in the Republic we would be up in arms…
@jp tobin: correct. You ARE missing something here!
@jp tobin: Yes, you are missing a lot. Maybe read up on it before you comment. There’s no space here to give you the full history lesson.
@HoneyGold: Try reading the Irish constitution that recognises that Northern Ireland is part of the United Kngdom.
Speaking to the Northern Ireland Forum on 17 April 1998 Ulster Unionist Party politician David Trimble said:
The illegal territorial claim to Northern Ireland in Articles 2 and 3 of the Irish Constitution has been removed and the South now accepts the legitimacy of Northern Ireland.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Articles_2_and_3_of_the_Constitution_of_Ireland
@On the right side: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-foyle-west-57407224. Nice shower of lads
@On the right side: The Irish constitution that was only amended to comply with the Good Friday Agreement which also stated there would be no hard border. If someone wants to break that agreement the constitution can be changed right back
@On the right side: OK then, where would you place the EU/UK border? Theresa May drew the infamous impossible red lines.
Refused to be in Single Market or Customs Union so there has to be a border between the UK and EU other than the English Channel.
She refused the (illegal) border between ROI/NI
Refused a border in the Irish sea
Boris “got it done” by drawing a line down the Irish sea. He scrubbed out one of Theresa May’s red lines – the only possible solution.
This is all the work of the DUP and Tories. Why are you blaming EU and ROI? Classic case of Dr. Frankenstein trying to blame the monster.
If Biden was any friend of Ireland he wouldn’t be pushing for a global corporate tax rate.
@whitewater: errrrr…. Probably became America is his his best friend. All US Presidents are most definitely Ireland’s friends. The Irish/American vote is too powerful for them to ignore. There would not be peace in NI without the Americans.
But sadly I can see Joe’s finger wagging and defence of Ireland will be taken as an offence by the Brits. Who will even more aggressively stir the near boiling pot.
It’s in their nature.
have your say